InsightsOut® by Fern Stewart Welch

It Takes More than New Year's Resolutions to Change Your Life

2012-01-01T00:02:00.001-07:00

Like millions of others, I made New Year's resolutions in the past, and then failed to fulfill them. This annual ritual became an exercise in how to beat myself up for my failures.

Then I learned the concept of changing your life by changing your thoughts. I fully understood that if what I was experiencing wasn't desirable, it was equally possible to follow this concept and create a life of happiness and fulfillment. I made this idea part of my life more than three decades ago.

It didn't take me long to realize why we can never be successful by making fervent, but wishful statements about our life challenges. I learned that the problem was in the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold about ourselves, which directly affect such important issues as abundance, health, relationships and success.

I discovered that it was necesary to go within and find out what we really desire in life. I also found that at a deep level most human beings believe they aren't good enough, deserving or worthy, which effectively blocks their good. To heal those thoughts, say every day as often as possible: I love myself just the way I am, right here, right now. I deserve all the blessings the world has to offer. I am willing to change my negative thoughts and to accept good for myself.

The core beliefs we hold of being unworthy are only thoughts, which create a feeling that binds them to us. If we change the thoughts, we change that feeling. It doesn't matter how long we have held negative thoughts or what the thoughts are. We can change the thoughts. Memorize this and repeat it as often as possible: I love myself and am wiling to change my thoughts. I now allow only positive thoughts about myself.

If we have been hurt in the past, or we hurt someone and are still holding onto the thoughts, we only hurt ourselves. These thoughts have determined the life we have now and will decide the future. We must release these thoughts and be free of the past. The only way to do that is to be willing to forgive not only others but to forgive ourselves. Say this as often as possible and for as long as it takes: I forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to myself, and to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free. They are free.

The key is to love ourselves so that we can open to accepting what is truly desired into our life. By paying close attention to what we think and say, we become aware of the many times we put ourselves down for the simplest and most inconsequential things. This is a negative habit that keeps us stuck in victim-hood, and assures that our life will continue to be less than desirable. Start today, and repeat often: I am wonderful, lovable, deserving and worthy and I love myself just the way I am.

While it may not be possible to say these affirmations and really mean them at first - if you continue you will -and your life will begin to change. And, while the only one we can ever change is ourselves, when we begin to experience positive changes in ourlife, it will have an effect on others. Know that whatever our current situation is, we have created it. The good news is that now we can consciously choose the life we desire.

Once we decide what we want, and can love ourselves enough to accept having it, the positive affirmations set a powerful force in motion, and we have only to persevere to be successful: Say every day as often as possible: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am willing to do what it takes to change my thoughts. I give thanks for the good that comes to me now, and affirm that only good comes from me to others and the world.

Negative thought patterns often take time to change, so we need to be patient and gentle with ourselves. When we begin to falter or doubt, we must take heart and know that millions of others have taken responsibility for their lives and are proving that when they change their thoughts, their lives change. Say every day: I never give up and I never give in--and victory will be yours.
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch -- one of the author's most requested essays.

The author's books: "Tea with Elisabeth," recipient of the 2010 Silver Award for Non-fiction; "You Can Live a Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World," and "The Heart Knows the Way--How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within," are available at Amazon.com and other booksellers, as well as bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble.

The Gift That Only You Can Give Yourself

2011-11-30T16:59:00.001-07:00

The more time I spend in and observing nature the more I learn about myself. It recently dawned on me that I have spent my entire life in an effort to learn to relax and be who I am. I discovered this by watching the rabbits and birds that frequent my lush yard. They are totally content with what they are.

I smile when I think about what it must be like to be a blade of grass, whose only role in life is to grow and be green. In doing so, it fulfills its purpose and enhances the beauty of a yard or a field. What a sad and frustrating experience it would be for that blade of grass to spend its lifespan wishing to be a flower, a shrub or a tree. Yet, not being grounded and accepting who we are seems to be part of the human condition, resulting in many of us spending our lives striving to be something that we are not.

It does not have to be and should not be that way. Each of us is important, as no one else can be who I am, or who you are. It is only our wayward minds that confuse and frustrate us and keep us from enjoying the fullness of what it means to be alive in this form.

I believe the most important element in overcoming this tendency is to come to peace within ourselves and accept who we were born to be. Our culture is so focused on the external world that we rarely, if ever, take the time to explore the inner world that is within us.

Many people believe that life is what happens to us externally, and our role is to react to whatever comes our way, but that is not so. The Truth is that the point of power is within us and has always been. We need to realize that the way life is supposed to happen is from within out--not the other way around. When we understand this, we become empowered and can determine much of what happens to us in life.

We have the power to stop our fear-based frantic search for answers outside ourselves. Unfortunately, our culture focuses on and requires that we not be in touch with ourselves or our environment, much to the detriment of both.

Going within and connecting with our inner selves is an absolute necessity. It naturally leads to connecting with that larger part of us that knows we are one with everyone else, as well as with the Earth itself. At that point, there is no confusion or frustration about who we are or what our purpose is on this planet, as it is simply to be fully and wholly who we were born to be.

Once we make this connection, we will be free of the thoughts that have kept us off-balance and off-purpose and that preclude us from achieving our full human potential. There is great power in this knowing--power that can change our lives and the world. It is the gift that only you can give to you.
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch - one of the author's most requested essays.

The author's books: "Tea with Elisabeth," recipient of the 2010 Silver Award for Non-fiction; "You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World," and "The Heart Knows the way - How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within," are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, as well as bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble.

Speed Bumps Keep Appearing on My Way to Becoming a Receiver and a Giver

2011-11-01T08:27:00.003-07:00

This is my third essay on learning how a lifelong giver can find a balance between giving and receiving. First, I definitely haven’t reached my goal yet. Though my initial attempts were successful enough to keep me focused on my challenge I discovered that the transformation would be more difficult than I expected.

When I first broke my foot, which was the start of this quest, a number of family members and friends stepped up to help me. Thanks to all the loving assistance with my physical needs and doctor appointments, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief that I wasn't on my own.

But the flurry of helpful involvement wasn’t to last. I realized quickly that my loved ones had lives to live, while I was still occasionally in need. I felt conflicted and was even more determined to reclaim control of my life, including my diet. Since my birthday fell during this recovery time, I was gifted with a variety of tasty but high-calorie foods, which I loved, but which I usually ate only a few times a year. Now it was weekly. I was grateful for all the assistance I received, but was learning to speak up about what I wanted and needed instead of just saying thank you for whatever was delivered. So, I said no more desserts, please.

Yet I wondered if there was something I was missing that would have made the experience more palatable for me and more beneficial for all concerned. Looking back, I think I had relaxed so completely into receiving that I lost sight of my part in the balance of giving. What else was it that I needed to learn?

Divine synchronicity intervened when a dear longtime friend called and said she needed to talk about something that was weighing on her mind. Fortunately, for me, she was so busy with work, travel and speaking commitments that our meeting was delayed for several days. I appreciated the reprieve as I had experienced many such requests from family members and friends, and I was always uneasy because I wasn’t sure I could meet their needs or desires.

During the interval, I remembered something that happened in a class that related to my friend’s current need. The facilitator gave a lecture on listening and was instantly on our case any time one of us failed to listen to her or to another member. She called us out immediately whenever we had our hands in the air before someone finished speaking because we couldn’t wait to put in our two cents, or we fiddled with papers, or read or sent text messages or retreated within and didn't hear or care what the speaker was saying.

Whether I realized it consciously or not, this memory would lead me to, as bestselling author M. Scott Peck, M.D. would say, a road less traveled, at least by me. When my troubled friend called again and asked to come over it was near dinner time, and I suggested she stop by a local restaurant and pick up our meal, which would be my treat (once again I was being the giver.)

As she arrived we greeted each other warmly, and when she remembered she had missed my birthday, she immediately said dinner was on her. Of course old habits surfaced and I began to protest. This time I also thought about that “un-traveled road” – receiving – and said gratefully, “Yes, thank you, more please.” We laughed, embraced again and thoroughly enjoyed our conversation and the wonderful food.

As we settled onto the sofa to talk, I felt at ease. I had evidently decided subconsciously to really listen, to be totally present for her, and remarkably, I was. I paid close attention to her words and her body language. I was never tempted to offer solutions for her problems, but sought only to help her bring forth her own conclusions.

I automatically supported her strengths verbally and felt perfectly comfortable doing that. I even lightly tossed in truths that she knew so well, as we all do, but often lose sight of when we are experiencing emotionally difficult situations.

As we said goodbye, I realized that our energies were in a state of equilibrium, and our shared joy was genuine. It was clearly a real-world example of balanced, from-the-heart giving and receiving, and I was fully aware of it in the moment.

Later I thought of the many times I had missed the chance to simply listen to a fellow human being, and to practice that aspect of giving and receiving. Now I realize there are surely an infinite variety of ways in which to do this, but in this experience it is easy to see how it was a win-win situation for both of us. By being totally present for another person in their time of need, we are helping to create happier lives and a more humane world.
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Copyright 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” recipient of the 2010 Silver Award for Non-fiction; “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” and “The Heart Knows the Way—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble.

Making the "Impossible" Possible

2011-10-01T06:31:00.002-07:00

After posting last month’s essay on giving and receiving, and feeling complete with the insights I had gained, I happened upon a quote by Indian yogi and mystic Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev that changed my opinion. I realized immediately that I had only scratched the surface of this vital and complex issue. Evidently I was meant to dig much deeper to fully grasp and understand it so I could embrace it and share it with others.

His provocative quote says that when we think or say something is impossible, what we’re actually doing is telling the universe, “No thank you, we didn’t really want that anyway.”

Some of the “impossible” global examples Vasudev is obviously referring to are world peace, poverty and hunger, and on an individual level, perfect health, healthy relationships and prosperity. They remain impossible, he said, because we hold negative thoughts in our consciousness that cancel out any possibility of receiving them as a reality.

Vasudev’s quote highlighted what I believe, which is that we live in an abundant universe that is constantly giving, but many of us, me included, aren't always willing to receive. We are the ones blocking the flow by saying or thinking, in essence, “Never mind, that may happen for someone else, but not for me.”

One of the yogi’s first questions after making his bold statement would have to be, why are we withholding good from ourselves? And the next one would be, why would we ever choose to put such unhealthy and undesirable limitations on the infinite giving-ness of Spirit and the abundant universe?

My immediate response would be from my own experience: Most of us still don’t know how life on Earth really works. I lived the first half of my life as a victim for exactly that reason. Until I learned the truth in what Jesus taught about it being done unto us as we believe, I was living by default instead of by design. In the mid-seventies, this incredible concept had been succinctly re-stated as: Change your thoughts and change your life. And thanks to hundreds of visionary writers and speakers, as well as many sages and spiritual leaders throughout the ages, we are finally aware enough to accept this concept. It is being lived and confirmed by millions of people all over the world, thanks to all the above and TV's all-purpose guru Oprah.

As I embraced this truth, I realized that we are the scriptwriters, the casting directors and directors of our own comedies, dramas or tragedies. The Universal Life Force, energy that is in everything and everyone in the universe, is the producer. I finally realized that I had been trapped in a victim role with absolutely no idea that the pleas and prayers I spoke each morning were overshadowed by the negative thoughts I focused on the rest of the day. The universe sees no difference between an order that is positive or negative; it only knows to fulfill it.

The next deterrent to receiving our good from the universe is directly related to the invalid thoughts, beliefs, needs, feelings and life patterns that we hold in our subconscious. These long-forgotten directives determine whether we feel worthy, deserving or lovable enough to receive our good.

The solution, from my experience, is to take the time to look within and start clearing out the negative beliefs we have so that our desires for a good life can be realized. Naturally, we also have to know what we want, which many people don’t, and I didn’t for a very long time. Then we need to clean up our subconscious and align our desires with what is good in the universe, which means that our desires neither harm nor take from anyone else. When we can do this and maintain an anticipation of good, we are open to receiving.

Is it a lot of work to make the impossible possible? Yes. But the result is so much better than spending a lifetime wishing we knew why other people were living “charmed” lives and we always ended up with the short end of the stick. It was never meant to be that way. This is a blessed, abundant universe, and it’s time to realize that we were born to have all the good our hearts desire—and can accept.

Incredible technological and economic changes are taking place in our world right now and are already affecting every area of our lives. I believe that the “impossible” global and individual changes humanity yearns for are imminently possible.

To meet the challenges and opportunities that will alter humanity’s future one way or another, we need to accept the reality of how life works and align our thoughts and actions with that awareness. Our lifetime might see the beginning of a cosmic push-comes-to-shove era for human beings. If we truly want to be part of this opportunity to co-create a better world, we must step up and face the facts—and be willing to lead, follow or get out of the way.
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Copyright © 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” recipient of the 2010 Silver Award for Non-fiction; “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World”; and “The Heart Knows the Way—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble.

How a Broken Foot Became a Blessing Instead of a Bummer

2011-09-01T07:31:00.001-07:00

Most of you know that I write about what I learn as I grow through life instead of just going through it. You also know that I consider it part of my life’s purpose to share the insights and lessons learned about how life is meant to work as I meet the ups and downs of daily happenings.

Recently I’ve been thinking about what my dear friend and mentor, the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, reminded me of, often: “Everything in life happens for a reason. There are no such things as accidents.” In addition to being the world expert on death and dying, she was also considered one of the most brilliant, heroic and influential women of all time.

Since I had just experienced an “accident” while on holiday, it was a perfect opportunity to test her teaching and find out what insight(s) I was meant to gain. It was the middle of the night. I was at a friend’s townhouse on the bank of a sparkling stream, and I missed two steps entering the sunken living room. Naturally, my first priority after the fall wasn’t asking what I was to learn from this situation. It was taking inventory of my body to check out the damage. Amazingly, I realized that except for my right foot, everything else was intact and felt perfectly fine.

I waited until morning to inform my friend, who was sleeping upstairs. By that time, it was obvious that a bone was broken in my foot. This meant we had to leave that idyllic setting and return home – visit the Emergency Room, have x-rays and consultations – and finally be fitted with a cane and a boot to protect my injured right foot. The post-ER instructions included staying off the foot as much as possible for the next 4-6 weeks.

When I did turn my thoughts to what this experience meant at a learning level, I realized that before I left on our trip I had purchased a book, “The Power of Receiving,” by Amanda Owen which is now on my bedside table. I bought it, I thought, because there was a glowing cover endorsement by someone I know, Dr. Christiane Northrup, who is also one of my favorite bestselling authors. The subtitle was, “a revolutionary approach to receiving the life you desire and deserve.”

One of the early statements in the book caught my attention and I was hooked. It was something like this: The world can only give you what you are willing to receive.

Like everyone else, I have dreams and goals and want to achieve them, so I allowed those words of wisdom to rumble around in my brain. It didn’t take long after the fall to face the following facts: I was now in a somewhat helpless condition, and definitely needed to ask for and receive help. I also knew that asking others for assistance was something I had always resisted like the plague. In following that train of thought, I also realized that I had been a major giver all my life, without much thought given to the concept of receiving.

As I continued reading about giving and receiving, I grasped the reciprocal tie between them. I realized that in all earthly interactions there needs to be a natural ebb and flow, a harmonious balance. I also got the message that when we get caught up in giving, as I had obviously done, the ego likes that much better than receiving and some of us choose to be magnanimous givers as a result. As the author says, when we’re giving we get to “showcase” our more saintly attributes and our egos love that.

Since my inner knowing resonated with the author’s information, I was eager to put it to the test. All offers for help in my time of need were gratefully accepted. This proved to be a thousand times better than my former stance of “suffering in silence,” and feeling like a victim. All of which I chose because I wouldn’t allow myself to be a nuisance or to put anyone out. Now I had willing and happy givers who provided delicious food, brought in my mail, emptied the trash, spent time visiting with me, watered my plants and took me to doctor’s appointments.

The difference in the natural balance of giving and receiving was immediately obvious. I felt loved and cared for in a way I had never allowed before. And, like an over-ripe peach my love and gratitude burst forth. I was rewarded with the smiles on the faces of the givers and several special experiences that I hug to my heart.

The first one was with my younger grandchildren who proudly carried in the “bounty” lovingly chosen and beautifully prepared by their mother to “restock Mimi’s pantry and refrigerator.” Then, after my dear sister took me to the doctor, she paused as she opened the car door and asked what else I needed or wanted. All of a sudden, I felt wickedly playful and asked slyly: “What did you have in mind?” She replied seriously, “I will do anything for you.” My eyes widened and I said, “Anything?!” She replied, “Yes.” I was so surprised and stunned by her loving response that I was speechless. It wasn’t lost on me that neither of these experiences would ever have happened if I hadn’t allowed myself to receive and others to give.

I have known for a long time that we are born to be powerful spiritual beings. But until we become aware of that and free ourselves from invalid beliefs, thoughts, emotions, feelings, needs and life patterns that we hold in our subconscious, we will never know our true selves. We will also never realize that we deserve to receive good from ourselves and others—including having our dearest dreams and desires fulfilled from an abundant Universe.

While I was writing this essay, my daughter called and asked what I was working on. As soon as she heard the subject, she said spontaneously, “When giving and receiving are in balance, love just occurs.” I knew immediately that this wasn’t one of her life issues. I also knew that when we choose to honor and live from that natural balance, it is a blessing. When we aren’t even aware of it, it’s a bummer.

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The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” recipient of the 2010 Silver Award for Non-fiction; “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World”; and “The Heart Knows the Way—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble.

I'm a Better Person Today ... And I Owe It All to My Ancient Air-conditioner

2011-07-31T19:38:00.000-07:00

As I always write about what I experience on my continuing spiritual journey, I humbly share this recent lesson. I admit that I wasn’t aware of being motivated by anger and fear while doing what I did—which is true but sounds kind of lame. And I certainly didn’t realize that my chosen approach came from the undesirable shadow part of me. But enough excuses, here is my story, you be the judge.

The desert heat was upon us in the southwestern part of the United States, and it was time to have my home’s twenty-five-year-old air-conditioning unit checked. I called the warranty firm I’ve had for fourteen years, and they sent out two repairmen. Normally I would simply direct the repairmen to the unit on the back patio. When they finished, I would listen with great interest as they indicated the unit was beyond repair and needed to be replaced and then they would quickly depart. As a senior citizen, my hope for the past five years was always that the warranty company would agree with the diagnosis of their on-site experts and replace the unit before it died in the middle of a 120˚ heat wave.

By now, I was pretty sure that the warranty group wasn’t going to replace any appliance until it had been on life-support for at least ten years or more, and only after resuscitation was impossible and the ensuing demise was accompanied by imploding and/or flooding – after which the jaws of life or a row boat would be brought in to remove the played-out appliance from the premises.

To be honest, it was fear that kept me renewing the warranty contract year after year. I thought that the minute I failed to pay the annual invoice, I would hear a chorus of “death-rattles” from every major appliance I owned, plus crackles and rumbles from the electrical and plumbing systems.

When the repairmen arrived this time, I was frustrated, stressed and blamed the warranty company. I was also determined that these new on-site experts would know my concerns and tell me the true status of the air-conditioner, as well as what they would be reporting back to the insurance company. Evidently in my dramatic search for truth and justice I had channeled a combination of Mother Theresa and Meryl Streep and had done them both proud.

As a result, the repairmen spent more time checking out the unit than anyone had in years, which initially gave my ego a boost. But instead of a sense of satisfaction, I started feeling uneasy and questioning myself. I knew my cause was just, but did I over-dramatize it to influence their diagnosis? I realized immediately that the situation had been further altered when the repairmen sat down in my living room, and began sharing the facts of the situation, which turned out to be a step in the right direction.

They explained that they were sub-contractors for the warranty company and their loyalties and responsibilities were to them, not to me. This included getting any future call-backs (business referrals) from the company, as well as them getting reimbursement for any expenses incurred beyond the service fee, which I paid. They didn’t have to explain the warranty company’s philosophy on repair vs. replacement.

I realized immediately that while I had legitimate concerns about my air-conditioner and the high desert temperatures, my error was in sharing this information with the repairmen and not the warranty company.

After the repairmen left, I sat quietly with my embarrassment thinking it was due to not having all the facts and acting inappropriately. It soon became clear, however, that on a deeper level, my emotional response was because I acted from fear and anger, which was out of alignment with my soul.

As I continued to reflect on this experience, I remembered that when we come from fear, the tendency is to try to manipulate others to make us feel better or to accomplish a selfish purpose, (ouch!) and that these actions are usually motivated by anger, blame, jealousy or vengeance, (ouch, again!) Conversely, and hopefully, when we come from love, we are authentic, honest, grateful, kind, sincere and straightforward. Then the outcome would most probably be positive and good for all.

For me, this incident was another lesson in how the Universe presents us with opportunities to grow in conscious awareness when we’re seeking to know ourselves and to understand how life really works. The plan is to help us recognize the difference between choosing to come from love or from fear, and ultimately to create results only from love. This guileless approach enriches our lives, our relationships, and opens us to expressing as the truly powerful spiritual beings we were born to be.

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When You tell Your Negative Thoughts, "You're Not the Boss of Me," Anything Is Possible

2011-07-01T07:52:00.001-07:00

Like many others I need to be reminded, evidently often, that I can give myself permission to allow good into my life. Earlier this year, I spent several months feeling not quite myself, but all the tests came back clear and didn’t point to a specific problem. This was good, I thought, because nothing was seriously wrong, but I still felt “poorly” as my mother would say. This continued until I mentioned my malady to a metaphysical friend. She looked straight into my eyes and stated firmly, “You are seeing yourself as sick. You need to immediately change that thought and focus on visualizing yourself as healthy, happy and filled with energy.” I started doing that, and realized that in shifting my negative focus to a positive one, it energized me, which stimulates the immune system and supports healing.

The concept of changing my thinking to change my life certainly wasn’t new to me. But this incident left me wondering why I still don’t automatically remember what I should do as soon as I find myself stuck in another undesirable life situation. I immediately recalled another similar incident. I was in a Dream Builder class, and the dream that was coming into my mind was much bigger than I expected. I soon started to wonder why I ever thought that such a large dream was possible for me. I asked for a private session with the facilitator and told her my concerns. When I was finished sharing my story, she said, “You can have it any way you want.”

My body’s energy response to her statement is seared in my mind. It was quick and strong and flashed through me like a wave of electricity. I knew instantly at the core of my being that her statement was absolutely true. The only limitations on my life are those I place on myself through my own thinking. What an exhilarating, exciting and wonderful truth. And the best news is that we are born with this gift and when we can control our thoughts, anything is possible.

Obviously I can still get caught up in life and need to be reminded that I have the power within me to create my life by design or default. After giving it some thought, I realized that when I get caught up in a situation and experience fear, my energy takes a nose dive. When that happens, I give up control of my life, take on the victim role and am reduced to accepting whatever life delivers. It wasn’t until I confided “my problem” to someone who could stand in truth for me that I remembered I was capable of moving beyond the collective consciousness and reclaimed my power.

Be assured that I am exquisitely sensitive to the fact that it isn’t easy to be in control of our thoughts even some of the time, let alone all the time, but it is certainly worth the effort. I firmly believe what Jesus taught during his time on Earth: It is done unto us as we believe.

Thanks to many of today’s visionaries and authors, and Oprah’s efforts, this concept is now being put to the test by many people around the world. Some have done the "impossible" simply because they believed it was possible and never allowed limitations to stop them. We read about their stories or see them on television all the time.

So, I ask, why not you and me? To that end, I have adopted from a friend’s young grandson a powerful words-to-live-by motto. This wise-beyond-his-years youngster was being urged by his frustrated family to admit he was losing in a seemingly never-ending board game. At one point, he took a break, then got up and walked around. They asked him again, hopefully, “Do you give up?” He uttered these words of wisdom: I never give up and I never give in, but sometimes I take a rest. I didn’t ask my friend if he ever gave up. I smiled and chose to think that he didn’t, but the others did.

Here are some of the positive affirmative thoughts that I now use to support myself: The power of Spirit is within me. It is creative and knows no limitation. I never allow my earthly mind to cramp my thinking or restrict my vision. I know it is done unto me as I believe—and, I never give up and I never give in, but sometimes I take a rest.

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Wanted -- But Never Found: A Magic Wand to Heal Our Lives

2011-06-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

Recently someone who knows my story of working with and resolving some of my own undesirable childhood memories turned to me for help with hers. She had already spent a lot of time and money on a variety of options, including psychoanalysis, prescription drugs, self-hypnosis and even, she said, a session with Dr. Phil. She’s frustrated, emotionally drained and bored with “staring at her navel,” not to mention financially challenged. Yet she still yearns to find a quick-fix solution and be free to live the life she desires.

Many of us can relate to my friend and her understandable but unrealistic hope for a magical solution. I remember when overwhelming life events sent me searching for first-person accounts of how others turned their lives around. I read every book I thought might help. The ones that really spoke to me were about experiences that included instant heightened conscious awareness, which fit my desperately hopeful time frame and sounded great. The authors’ life-changing experiences were as mystical and varied as a black butterfly landing on a man’s forehead; a deceased spiritual sage manifesting in human form and delivering a message to a woman in a museum; a feather appearing miraculously where there was none, and a library book jumping off the shelf and falling open to the exact passage that when read by the individual resulted in an increase in conscious awareness that allowed him to create a better life.

While those examples may seem fantastical, I believe such experiences are more prevalent than we realize and imminently possible. It doesn’t take a genius to know that at any given time on Earth the level of conscious awareness among human beings ranges anywhere from ground level to cosmic. For example, in the past it appears there were usually a rare few individuals that came in with fully developed abilities that enabled them to effortlessly – it seems to us – fulfill their purpose and make a dramatic difference in the world. These well-known genius giants include Einstein, da Vinci, Galileo, Jefferson, Jesus, Michelangelo and Mozart. Then there were the rest of us.

Since my own life experiences included events that directly affected my three children’s lives, such as divorce, an extremely challenging financial situation, and no career, I was desperate to discover how to become a victor instead of a victim. It took me a long time to realize that the path to do this and the solutions would not come easily or quickly. In my late thirties, I finally was led to the book “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay, and this answered many of my questions and gave me practical information to help create a better life for me and my family.

Naturally, I had hoped that the path to higher consciousness would be easy and simple, and even more important—quick. It wasn’t and still isn’t. But the good that fills my life now echoes the promise made by the courageous souls who have trod this same path and chose to share their experiences.

Now I know that, just like my friend, each individual’s journey is unique for them, and no one else can dictate it or do it for us. So while it is possible to be inspired by the experiences, insights and techniques used by others, myself included—in the final analysis it is an inside, do-it-yourself job.

This means at some point going within and finding out who we are and what it truly means to be alive. Meditation is known as the highway to conscious awareness, as it enables us to connect with the sanctuary of unconditional love, peace, wisdom and guidance within us and that is the heart’s desire of every human being. When an individual goes within and consistently seeks this connection, a spontaneous process is set in motion that knows the path, pace and timing of each human being’s individualized journey to God-Good.

When I asked my friend if she meditated or spent any time reflecting on her life, her eyes rolled back in her head. It was obvious she was still seeking instant resolution by external means. I wanted to say to her, but didn’t, that increased conscious awareness isn’t something zapped on us from an outside source; it has to happen through us with our full knowledge and agreement. This is where true healing takes place.

I did gently suggest she think about the decades-long pain of unhealed memories from childhood as a message from her inner guidance and that at some point she might want to turn within and ask for help. I also offered some practical techniques on my Web page that might speak to her, including such “How-to Lists” as: Connect with God; Fulfill Your Potential (Clear Now and Create the Life You Desire), and Realize Your Heart’s Desires.

Now I realize that the plan has always been for every human being, at some point in their evolution, to open to this natural connection with the unconditional Love, Intelligence, Peace, God within us. We are meant to have help on our journey and the challenges in life are to nudge us back to our center, to our source. When we turn within and ask, this is where our true life journey begins—and we realize the magic really is in us.

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The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” recipient of the 2010 Silver Award for Nonfiction; “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World”; and “The Heart Knows the Way—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble.

Forgiving Others ... Why It's a Gift to Ourselves

2011-05-02T11:10:00.000-07:00

In the past, just the thought of trying to forgive others for serious transgressions against me had always seemed so difficult as to be impossible. I would be filled with fear and reluctance. That is until recently, when I realized once again that I have a dream for the rest of my life, and the achievement of this dream requires me to be free of anything that blocks my good. With that awareness, I knew that there were three people in my life that I still needed to forgive.

I had moved past the misconceptions that were primarily responsible for forgiveness remaining such a dreaded activity for me and many others. Today, no one believes that forgiveness means condoning the behavior of the offending person or that you have to maintain a relationship with him or her. Yet many of us still don’t know how to forgive or understand why forgiveness is one of the most vital and self-helping processes we will ever undertake.

Most of us are aware that no matter how strong our negative emotions are around people who have hurt us, those feelings have absolutely no affect on them. They don’t know what we’re thinking or experiencing and probably wouldn’t care if they did. They are just going on with their lives. But the truth is that this energy can and will eat away at those holding onto it and will undermine our health and block us from living full and happy lives. That last part really got my attention. Even though my life is good, there is more goodness I desire in the future.

I had used a daily forgiveness prayer for several decades, and truthfully the negative emotions had lessened and I rarely thought of the people who hurt me. But when I did, I realized I still held emotional energy around the unhappy memories and each person. What I had failed to realize, until recently, is that if we’re still suffering, we’ve taken full ownership of the energy and the only resolution lies within us.

It wasn’t until I fully accepted the vital importance of forgiveness and sought out another method of accomplishing it that I was finally able to clear these undesirable emotional energies. I also opened to the fact that whatever technique we choose, we must come from the knowing that forgiveness is an act of self-nurturing. We are seeking our highest and best good and are focusing on what is healing and healthy for us—and no one else.

My approach began with setting my intention to forgive, and spending time in meditation and prayer. I chose to use the following affirmations that were inspired by the Dalai Lama. I started by repeating the statements for myself: May I be happy. May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be loving kindness. May I know the power of love and forgiveness. I allowed myself as much time as needed each day to further imprint the process on my subconscious.

Then I repeated the same desires individually for all my family members and friends, using May you be ... . As I focused on my loved ones, I practiced seeing their faces and bringing up all the love I felt for each one of them while stating the positive affirmations. I became very familiar with the energy, how it felt, where I felt it and— after a while—how easy it was to bring it up. I practiced staying in this loving energy for as long as I could.

That step is so important because we are practicing coming from a higher energy vibration that is vital for the next part of the exercise. I had become so facile in repeating the positive statements and switching between May I and May you …, that I could do it automatically. One day, while bringing forth and maintaining this love energy, I allowed a thought of the offending individuals to come up, one at a time—then their faces. I spontaneously repeated and meant it: May you be happy. May you be safe. May you be healthy. May you be loving kindness. May you know the power of love and forgiveness.

All the time I was doing this, I knew that to clear the undesirable energy I had to hold onto the higher energy vibration of love. This step did take several attempts, but I didn’t give up. When I could make the positive statements while coming from the love within me, I was able to feel a palpable shift in my physical body. I knew at the core of my being it was a release—full, complete and lasting.

As we free ourselves from the fear surrounding forgiveness, we are then able to welcome any opportunity to forgive ourselves and others. We know the truth that forgiveness is an inner process that has nothing to do with anyone else, and specifically the ones we believe hurt us. It truly is one of the most important things we can ever do for ourselves, for it frees us to create a better future, brings peace to our souls and harmony to our lives.

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The author’s books including, “Tea with Elisabeth,” recipient of the 2011 Silver Award for Nonfiction; “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World”; and “The Heart Knows the Way—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are available at Amazon.com other online booksellers, and bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble.

If We Have a Dream, and Stay Open to Our Good … We Can Have It Any Way We Want

2011-04-06T19:51:00.005-07:00

We don’t receive a manual at birth that tells us how life on Earth really works, or how to live our highest and best lives. Discovering the how-to’s of life is an inside job, and each one of us has to find our own unique path. Fortunately there have always been courageous souls throughout the ages, like Mary Manin Morrissey, who have stepped forward and shared what they have learned on their journeys—to shine a light on our paths.

Mary is an international speaker, bestselling author and powerful teacher in the human potential movement. I am currently enrolled in her Dream Builder Program, which combines listening to CD’s, doing the exercises, meeting once a week with a facilitator and having access to private coaching sessions. One of the many lessons I am learning from this course is how important it is not only to stay open to our Good, but to trust in and to expect our Good.

For example, I have known for a decade that part of my life’s purpose was to help others by writing about the lessons I learn as I grow through life. This was no problem until it came time to publish the books that resulted, and my old fear of public speaking came up—stronger than ever. I knew from working with publishing companies that the conventional process of marketing and promoting books includes seeking widespread public visibility for the author, thus my resurgence of fear.

Adding to my frustration was the fact that I had a 35-year history of working with Science of Mind principles and creating a successful career and life, which included attracting the man of my dreams. We had 23 wonderful years together, during which I lived out more of my heart’s desires. So, why couldn’t I resolve this particular issue?

After some soul searching, I finally realized that I had become so focused on what was blocking me, that I had become stuck in the problem.

I had another moment of clarity when I recently received my latest manuscript back from a diverse group of “readers.” Their comments confirmed what I knew in my heart—that this book could help others create better lives and a better world, which we sorely need to do right now.

I knew I had to do something, and my impatience to take action started to grow. While, I’ve always considered my impatience a mixed blessing, there have been times when it was just what I needed to move me in the right direction at the right time. I prayed this would be one of those times.

When I heard of the Dream Builder Program, I immediately called and signed up. After the decision was made, I felt a high anticipation of Good. After a few classes and giving myself fully to the information, I wrote out my dream, which included releasing my latest book to the general public. I loved my dream. It was also in alignment with my identified core values and my heart and soul desires.

After several days of focusing on my dream, more details concerning the publishing of the book also became part of the dream. Suddenly the dream was so big that I wasn’t sure I could handle it. I asked the program facilitator for a private session.

I recounted the key points of my dream and my concerns. The facilitator never interrupted me to comment or to ask a question. When I stopped talking, she said quietly, evenly and with no drama: “You Can Have It Any Way You Want.”

I can have it any way I want. This simple statement resonated with the core of my being. I was speechless. Either a tumbler moved into place, I had an infusion of new energy, or the energy I held around this block was released—or all the above—something had shifted within me. I was free from any fear of releasing this book to the general public … and I knew it.

I also knew that I wasn’t going to automatically join the speaking circuit and welcome whatever others might dictate as my duty. No way! I learned from the course material the importance of aligning our core values and soul desires with our dreams. This reinforced my original desire and knowing: I am to write and share what I learn, while remaining centered in God and in alignment with my truth.

While the details to “flesh” out my dream continue to take shape, I realize that having it any way I want means making sure my choices are congruent with the truth of me. It also means that I don’t have to compromise my heart, mind or soul to be successful.

I also learned that by remaining open to our Good, and feeding our faith instead of our fear, this allows us to move beyond our comfort zone and toward our dreams. When we take this leap of faith, the universe gets behind us in ways we can’t even imagine. I not only believe that, I know it.
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Copyright © 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” recipient of the 2011 Silver Award for Adult Nonfiction; “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble.

Are We Living Our Ideal Life?

2011-03-21T15:52:00.002-07:00

Because of the serious challenges we now face, many people are being forced to reevaluate their lives. They are realizing that all the time they were rushing toward the future and pursuing the external trappings of a successful life – money, prestige and power – they were chasing an illusion.

They were living someone else’s idea of how life should be lived and not the one they were born to experience. The discontent they feel comes from a place deep within their core that knows the peace, contentment and happiness that is missing from their lives comes only from living a truly meaningful life.

I learned the lesson through the intense and dramatic years as a single parent of three children. The true journey is one in which we focus on our inner lives and seek to live in a way that fulfills our soul purpose and furthers the cause of good on Earth.

If we want to make a change in our lives for tomorrow and for the rest of our lives, we must take responsibility for where we are right now. We must also accept the truth that what we think, feel, say and do have determined our past and will continue to determine our future, unless we change our approach.We must monitor our thoughts, decide what we truly want and focus on that goal with constancy in order to create the life we should be living. What we choose must not harm or take from another and must be for our highest and best good, as then it will benefit all others.

I have written about those concepts before, but somehow I had forgotten until now another vital element that was tremendously beneficial in my life: The importance of identifying and living an ideal. An “ideal” is far above an idea, as it has the potential to enhance our souls and further the cause of good in the world. Our ideal must be something that we can never fully achieve in this lifetime; that strengthens our passion and propels us ever onward and upward. It can also give us a reason for living that is worthwhile and brings satisfaction at the core of our being. Our ideal can be expressed in a single word, such as: love, kindness, truth, joy, happiness, wisdom, peace, harmony or balance. It can also be a phrase such as: being one with life, one with God, loving relationships, appreciating beauty, appreciating nature, inspiring others through the arts, serving life or bringing hope to others.

We need to devote whatever time it takes to discover the ideal that resonates within our heart, mind and soul. When we commit to our ideal, and place it before us daily during prayers or meditation and think of it often during each day, we will soon find ourselves in alignment with our soul’s true purpose. I believe we are born onto this planet with the intention of fulfilling some part of Life’s purpose. I believe we each have a personal life mission as well as a larger mission that benefits the world.

Our ideal is our compass. In good times it makes decisions easier as the only question to answer is: Will this bring me closer to living my ideal? When times are bad, we hold fast to our ideal, as we can know that keeping our head and heart pointed toward our ideal will bring us safely through.

By choosing to be guided by our ideal, we begin the greatest journey of our lives. As we connect with the core of our being, we find the peace that passes understanding, as well as a wellspring of joy and wholeness. We also place ourselves in alignment with what is Good in the universe, and as instruments of Good/God, we will be helping our nation and the world experience a safer passage through this time of global transformation.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch – This is one of the author’s most requested columns.

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way - How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” and “You Can Live a Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble.

The Importance of an Attitude of Gratitude

2011-03-06T18:15:00.002-07:00

As everyone knows, we are facing serious challenges in our country right now, providing us a perfect opportunity to consider utilizing the highest and best information available to protect and maintain our health, prosperity and happiness or, if needed, to increase all three. Taking advantage of this tried and true information will benefit anyone who uses it, and in the process it will help heal America.

This information has been around for eons, and has allowed many individuals to create successful, enriching and happy lives despite external socio-economic conditions.

The primary concept, which I have written about before, is that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives. Millions of people around the world are confirming the truth of this concept daily by living it. They are also attaining and maintaining an Attitude of Gratitude, which is a key component that assures success.

It is helpful to remember that gratitude is simply taking the time to look around us and appreciate what we do have. And not only does the Universe love a grateful heart, it responds affirmatively by sending us more of the good we are already enjoying. In practicing gratitude each day, this places us in alignment with what is Good in the Universe. This is a powerful place from which to act. By placing only positive thoughts and affirmations of our desires into the Universal Law, and maintaining an attitude of gratitude, we can expect to receive Good back from the Universe..

The challenge for some of us lies in the fact that no matter what we have, we often see only lack and scarcity because we don’t have enough, or we fear it won’t be enough in the future, or isn’t everything we want, or what we really want. If we truly want to change our lives for the better, it is vitally important that we start to become consciously aware of the many Good things that actually are in our lives and to start being grateful for them – no matter how small they may seem to be at the time.

One excellent way to do this is to take time each day, either first thing in the morning or at bedtime in the evening, or both, to repeat everything we can think of that we can be grateful for in that day. Just say: I am grateful for ______________, and let your mind and heart fill in the blank. We can also make a written list or start a Gratitude Journal and keep track of everything for which we are grateful. When gratitude is practiced consistently for the good we have in our lives, the loving universe takes that as our order and sends us more of the same.

I start each morning by being grateful for another day of life, for a good night’s sleep, or an unbroken night’s sleep, for a comfortable and warm bed, for my house, my car and for each person, event and experience I will meet this day. I also repeat these affirmations daily: I am grateful for this day, knowing it is the first day of the best years of my life. I am grateful for the continuing Good that comes into my life in expected and unexpected ways.

At night, before I fall asleep, I review the day and while going over it bit by bit, I declare every event Good, every person Good and bless the day. Then I repeat these affirmations: I bless everything that happened today and everyone with whom I came in contact. I am grateful for all the Good I see in my life and for the Good that is yet to be. As I turn over, I always feel complete and clear of the happenings of the day, and just naturally drift into a peaceful sleep.

As we learn to focus on positive thoughts and to live with an attitude of gratitude, this raises our energy vibration, which also elevates the consciousness of humanity. Since our government mirrors our level of awareness, we will also be helping our country return to a state of harmony and balance, and this is another blessed gift for which we can be exceedingly grateful.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch – Repeated by request.

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The Key to Happiness: Letting Go of Our Troubles ... and Living in the Now

2011-02-21T07:52:00.002-07:00

Last week, at a spiritual community meeting, the message was titled “Forget Your Troubles” – and as it says in the song – “… C’mon, get happy.” Yet as the minister so ably explained, the reason so many of us are unhappy is because we find it difficult to let go of our fears, disappointments or old hurts. We either choose to live in the past and allow those thoughts to determine our tomorrows, or we mentally live in the future and focus on negative things that may never happen. The past is gone and the future is yet to be, so hanging out mentally in either place, whether consciously or subconsciously, means we’re blocking our potential for happiness.

I immediately thought of an irrational fear that had troubled me most of my life and that had recently resurfaced. As a child, I was extremely shy and lived in fear of being called on to answer a question in the classroom. By college, I was able to handle classroom and social situations, but I never lost my fear of speaking in public. It always weighed on my mind when facing any career decisions, past or present.

The minister also reminded us of something that went straight into the plus column of my consciousness. She said it’s a fact that most mature adults have already come through many life situations that didn’t knock us down or out, and we’re still here and stronger as a result. This boosted my confidence that I could finally face this fear.

When I left the corporate world and developed a communion with God, it wasn’t long before I was guided to help others by writing and sharing the lessons I was learning on my spiritual journey. The fear returned with more intensity, as I was now caught between following the guidance from God and dreading the public speaking that is required today to promote books. If there was a way to end this inner conflict over public visibility, and free me to fulfill my soul purpose, heart’s desires and be at peace, I was ready.

The decisive moment for me came when the minister smiled and said something like this: When we know how life really works, we can wake up and live it consciously and happily, or we can wait until we’re near the end and mourn our missed opportunities for happiness. I knew what I chose, and it wasn’t remorse and regret.

I set my intention to resolve this specific issue and trusted that, as usual, my inner guidance would lead me through the process. I soon recalled an idea I read about several years ago in a book titled “Intuitive Wellness,” by my friend, Laura Alden Kamm. She suggested that when we are in the middle of chaotic situations that confuse or frighten us that we print out these words: Trust, Faith and Power, and place them where we can see them often throughout each day.

Her concept was that by consciously contemplating these words, we would be led to reclaim our trust and faith in ourselves and in God. As a result of doing that, we would be aligned with our inner power and automatically trust that the outcome of all things in our life would be for our highest and best good.

After following my own spiritual practice, I asked my inner guidance to assist me and then sat quietly reflecting upon the three words. Memories began popping up, and each one was of a situation in which I felt as if life had dealt me a very low blow. I noticed the fear I held around each predicament, as they seemed far beyond my ability to handle, yet they couldn’t be avoided. I was forced to face them immediately. Despite my initial very human reactions, I realized that I had eventually grown through the life-changing circumstances and had indeed become stronger.

Once I acknowledged the deep sense of empowerment I gained from recalling these events, I realized something else. The fear and helplessness I had felt for so long about public speaking was tied to my projecting thoughts into the future about bad things happening, which had to be stopped. As I experienced living in the moment with this issue, I felt a sense of peace and knew I had reclaimed my power. I also knew I could handle (ultimately) anything that would ever come up in any area of my life because I had been doing that all along.

Just then I recalled the visionary teachings of my friend and early spiritual teacher, Irene Hunter, author of “The Miracle of Being the Real You.” She strongly advised that every time we catch ourselves casting negative thoughts into the future or re-living past situations, we say the following with great resolve: Cancel-cancel-cancel-together-together-together. This neutralizes a negative thought at all levels of our minds. Then, we lock-in our positive mental stance by stating firmly and as often as needed: My mind is renewed in, for, with and through God.

What a wonderful realization to know that we can choose at any time to be free by letting go of our “troubles,” living in the now and allowing ourselves the happiness that is every human being’s birthright.
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Copyright © 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things Breathe Life Into the American Dream

2011-02-06T17:09:00.002-07:00

After the tragedy in Tucson, I searched my heart and mind for something insightful and uplifting to share with others. As I focused on that desire, I received an e-mail from a friend that set me on the right track. The quote she sent was from John F. Kennedy’s speech at The American University in Washington, D.C., in 1963. He said: "Our problems are man-made; therefore they may be solved by man. And man can be as big as he wants. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings."

I believe that, and especially the part about man becoming as big as he wants, as those words hold so much positive potential for us right here and right now. I trusted that by allowing those inspiring words to guide me, I would be led to the awareness I was seeking surrounding the Tucson incident. I was immediately drawn to the fact that the majority of American citizens are ordinary people, just like you and me, and also to the realization that the strength of America has historically been vested in our innate goodness.

And, just like me, many of us tend to forget that we’re not alone and that every day millions of our fellow citizens get up with the same desire to do the best they can in every area of their lives. If they are parents, the goal is to rear healthy children who will contribute to society and help heal our Earth. If they are married, they want to be better partners. Those in the work force want to be better employees. And friends and neighbors want to be better friends and neighbors.

Then I thought about the reality that while most of us truly want to be better citizens and better human beings, we become disheartened when members of our society commit inhumane acts. We need to remember that those are the exceptions, and that the majority of us are already deeply committed to living our lives from the highest and best within us. This means that most of us are making a genuine and positive contribution to our nation right now. Some of them, these ordinary heroes, were right there in Tucson. This really matters.

As I realized that ordinary people are the heart, soul and backbone of our nation, I recalled that we also make up a world-renowned resource of capable, caring and generous volunteers. This was immediately obvious in the Tucson situation as the community rose up to help and support those who were affected. A similar desire spread across the state and our nation.

At that point, I thought of two other ordinary “everyday heroes” who typify America’s spirit of volunteerism: Annie Loyd and Jodi Powers. Within hours of the tragic events in Tucson, they convened a think-tank of do-ers through their Arizona-based The FUSION Foundation. Their plan was to come up with an “ongoing generational, transformational process” that would be a visible symbol of support for the affected families and a way for people across the nation to be part of the healing process.

In joining resources with the Arizona Community Tree Council, and other organizations, www.HealingTrees.org was born. They are now sponsoring tree-plantings as a living memorial to those who died in Tucson, as a symbol of “loving kindness” for the wounded and to honor all life.

On February 14, 2011, the 99th birthday of Arizona’s statehood, the ceremonial plantings will begin with the first of 19 trees, representing the 19 victims, planted at the Arizona State Capitol. This healing ceremony offers us a way to focus on what’s inherently good and right in our country, instead of what’s wrong, and to choose to be part of the solution.

Launching of the Healing Trees – Together We Thrive project will also mark the 50th anniversary of John F. Kennedy’s inaugural address, and honor his famous call to action: “… Ask what you can do for your country.”

That quote serves to remind us once again that pulling together in times of need will always be a source of strength and hope for each of us, and the saving grace for our communities and our country. This tradition continues with ordinary people like Annie and Jodi, you and me, the brave folks in Tucson and millions of other everyday heroes who step up and breathe life into the inherent goodness of the American Dream. I feel much better now.
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Copyright © 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Staying Connected with Our Center Is an Ongoing Challenge

2011-01-20T13:15:00.002-07:00

Over the past several months, I have been putting the finishing touches on my latest manuscript, “Becoming a Spiritual Warrior of the Heart.” Rest assured that the emphasis is on the word becoming, as I am definitely a work in progress and still face challenges as does everyone who is on a similar path.

For example, when I reached a point in the cover design where technical decisions needed to be made that exceeded my area of expertise; I allowed myself to lose focus on the project and became stressed. Instead of simply asking for help, I slipped into an old life pattern of feeling less-than because I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

As a "work in progress,” I’m not ashamed to admit that this is not the first opportunity I’ve had to release another layer of this life issue. Basically, it equates to the fact that this particular invalid belief is still in my subconscious, and pops up from time to time. When it does, I start beating myself up because I don't know all the answers. I am also not embarrassed to say that it took several sleepless nights, a headache and a digestive upset before it got my full attention.

During this time, I woke up one morning after a restless night, contemplating whether I should sleep in, or do the in-bed exercises for my back that were recommended by my therapist and then get up. I knew I should do the exercises to help regain control of my mental and emotional state to protect my physical well-being – and part of me really wanted to, but I remained immobile.

But then a song wafted into my consciousness. Not just any song, but one that had been a favorite since hearing it years ago in the movie “Oklahoma.” The song was “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning.” I started singing it, actually belting it out with all the feeling I could muster.

The positive energy in the lyrics, as well as my inner desire to return to the balanced, peaceful state I experience when I am connected to my inner guidance-God, brought me back to center. From this place of clarity, I was then able to resume my healthy daily routine and to ask for help in understanding the high-tech decisions required and thus resolving the issues.

I realized once again that facing and growing through another layer of this life pattern released more of the energy I apparently still hold around the invalid belief that I am less-than simply because I don’t know everything about everything. When I am connected to my center-higher intelligence-God I am fully aware that it isn’t necessary or possible to know everything about life or anything else.

The ongoing challenge on the path to free us to live as the true powerful spiritual beings we are is to be able to work through the “opportunities” while maintaining our center. I have learned through many such experiences that the ultimate goal is to make the connection with our inner guidance-God so strong and stable that no matter what situations arise, we can work through them with ease and equanimity.

In this recent instance, I was able to reclaim my natural connection with God by pouring my heart’s desire into the words of the song and embodying them as my truth. During ordinary times, I rely on meditation and positive affirmations to heighten my connection with the sanctuary of unconditional love, peace, joy and guidance that is within every human being. Here is one of my favorite affirmations, which I repeat daily with heartfelt acceptance, emotion, faith and gratitude: Something wonderful is happening in my life and affairs right now. I sense it. I feel it. I know it! I accept it! And so it is! Thank you, God. Thank you, Life.
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Copyright © 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Living Life On Purpose

2011-01-05T17:06:00.001-07:00

Like some other fortunate individuals, I sensed at a very young age that there was a purpose to humans existing on Earth. Somehow I just knew it. Naturally, I wondered what my own mission would be. At that time, I was entranced with Saturday afternoon matinees at the local movie theater, which featured either an “oater” (a Western) or an adventure like Sky King. I was deeply touched by the theme of the movies, which promoted the prevailing values of the time: truth, justice and the American Way. I decided to try to live this quality of life, hoping that whatever I was meant to be or do would be equally commendable.

Then “life” happened and the subliminal urging to seek my soul work dimmed in the face of a flurry of other concerns.

Many years would pass before I was once again moved to follow the concept of fulfilling a life purpose. When I did, I wondered if I was already living it just by being alive and being me. After all, no one else on Earth could do that. Part of me really hoped this was so – as there were fewer years before me than behind me. If there was something more I was born to know, do or become, then I needed to get on with it as soon as possible.

By this time, I was aware that finding and living our life purpose is a lifelong learning process. I had no illusions that my path would include some heroic deed that would play out like those I'd watched on the “silver screen.” Nor did I truly desire that. What I sought was far more essential and private. I just wanted to discover and live a meaningful life, no matter what that might mean.

Since we don’t receive a manual at birth as to how life on Earth works or what our sacred contribution is to be, it is necessary to turn within to discover our true North, our life mission. When I did this more than a decade ago, I learned that daily meditation was a key to attaining, maintaining and strengthening a connection with the higher intelligence-guidance-unconditional love-God that resides within each of us. Once we decide to seek our life’s purpose, and are in cooperation with that inner guidance, we are led into the process of discovering, embodying and living our true destiny.

In my case, I have been a writer all my life, but never thought the writing I did to make a living would be part of my inborn life goal. It was just my “day job.” Yet, there turned out to be a world of difference between the writing I did for clients or employers and that which I was led to do as an integral part of my life’s purpose. I discovered that in sharing my spiritual journey with others through writing, I was filled with a great energy, an unwavering commitment and a joy and passion I had never experienced before. I knew then that I’d found my life mission and that I was now living “on purpose.”

For the past decade, I have been led to share through the gift of writing what I am living and learning to help others and inspire them to begin their own inner journey. This is especially important today, as we are all needed to help each other and the world through this time of tumult and transformational change. Throughout the ages, spiritual visionaries and sages have known that even a small number of people can have a disproportionate impact for good in the world. To do this we must each turn within to discover and live what we were born to be.

The natural soul urging that I experienced many years ago is inherent within each of us. When we awaken to it, we are called to further what is positive and good in the universe. This is the impulse that activates humanity to ever higher aspirations, and is the source of the wellspring of hope we hold in our hearts.

I assure you that whatever your soul purpose is, you can absolutely discover it, and it is absolutely do-able. I can also promise you that no accomplishment in the external world can touch the sense of fulfillment and peace you experience when you begin living your life “on purpose.”
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Copyright 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The True Path to Happy Holidays Comes From Within

2010-12-22T11:28:00.002-07:00

Several weeks ago at a local church, the minister announced holiday events for those who have no family or who choose not to be with the family they do have during the holidays. While this brought an amused reaction from the congregation, it is common knowledge that in today’s world many people experience sorrow over broken family relationships.

I understand that kind of sadness. I realize that some of the depression during the holiday season is due to the unfulfilled dreams and desires that are often rooted in the mists of childhood. The sadness increases when people think of certain television commercials and movies that present an idyllic view of the perfect family holiday, as well as the imagined “wonderful” holidays everyone else is having.I once held those images in my mind, but I have learned a lot since I quit buying into the ideal family holiday.

Now I know that what is can be enough if you make the most of it.It isn’t always possible to have close relationships with all your family members. Sometimes it is better to draw close to and bless those relationships we do have. We need to recognize, honor and relish every moment we have to spend with close friends and family.

There are, of course, profound and positive reasons for family gatherings, including savoring the bond represented by extended family, and more importantly allowing children to be embraced in a circle of multigenerational love that provides a strong foundation that will enhance their entire lives. It also gives us an opportunity to learn to honor and accept differences, which is a quality much needed in the world today.

However, while our individual holiday challenges may differ, the emotions they bring may be the same. For me, my adult children and grandchildren are building their own traditions and going their own ways, which is a natural part of the life process. I discovered that dwelling on whom or what I didn’t have in my life during the holidays was a waste of time and life energy. It only results in stress and sadness and detracts from the true meaning of the holidays.

This is a time of year when people aren’t embarrassed to open their hearts and revel in the joy and blessing of sharing with others and truly feeling the joy of being alive. I choose that. I refuse to be cheated out of this goodness by letting any less than positive thoughts rule my consciousness.What this means is taking control of my thoughts and my life before the holiday season arrives.

This year I planned a small gathering early in November to kick off the season. I also bought beautiful poinsettia plants to brighten my home and lift my spirits, and placed electric candles in the upstairs window to broadcast my joy to others.My holiday calendar [some of which I initiated] also includes intimate time with some family members and longtime friends for lunch, dinner, afternoon tea at a lovely hotel, a holiday-themed concert and theater production, cookie decorating, and holiday movies with my younger grandchildren followed by a trip to the mall to see the seasonal decorations.

What I discovered is that when you choose to do what you truly enjoy, with people who are important and meaningful in your life, the events are guaranteed to fill your arms with hugs and your heart with love.I don’t believe in allowing the actions or inactions of others to control my happiness. I believe the secret is not to wait for the joy and love to come to us, but to reach out and share our own love and joy—making the world a far better place!
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch [The author is on holiday. This is one of her most popular seasonal essays.]

The author’s books, THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY— How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within; Tea with Elisabeth, and You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World, are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

It Takes More than New Year's Resolutions to Change Your Life

2010-12-05T18:36:00.004-07:00

Like millions of others, I made New Year’s resolutions in the past, and then failed to fulfill them. This annual ritual became an exercise in how to beat myself up for my failures.

Then I learned the concept of changing your life by changing your thoughts. I fully understood that if what I was experiencing wasn’t desirable, it was equally possible to follow this concept and create a life of happiness and fulfillment. I made this idea part of my life over three decades ago.

It didn’t take me long to realize why we can never be successful by making fervent, but wishful statements about our life challenges. I learned that the problem was in the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold about ourselves, which directly affect such important issues as abundance, health, relationships and success.

I discovered that it was necessary to go within and find out what we really desire in life. I also found that at a deep level most human beings believe they aren’t good enough, deserving or worthy, which effectively blocks their good. To heal those thoughts, say every day as often as possible: I love myself just the way I am, right here, right now. I deserve all the blessings the world has to offer. I am willing to change my negative thoughts and to accept good for myself.

The core beliefs we hold of being unworthy are only thoughts, which create a feeling that binds them to us. If we change the thought, we change that feeling. It doesn’t matter how long we have held negative thoughts or what the thoughts are. We can change the thoughts. Memorize this and say it as often as possible: I love myself, and am willing to change my thoughts. I now allow only positive thoughts about myself.

If we have been hurt in the past, or we hurt someone and are still holding onto the thoughts, we only hurt ourselves. These thoughts have determined the life we have now and will decide the future. We must release these thoughts and be free of the past. The only way to do that is to be willing to forgive not only others but to forgive ourselves. Say this as often as possible and for as long as it takes: I forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to myself, and to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free, they are free.

The key is to love ourselves so that we can open to accepting what is truly desired into our life. By paying close attention to what we think and say, we become aware of the many times we put ourselves down for the simplest and most inconsequential things. This is a negative habit that keeps us stuck in victim-hood, and assures that our life will continue to be less than desirable. Start today, and repeat often: I am wonderful, lovable, deserving and worthy and I love myself just the way I am.

While it may not be possible to say these affirmations and really mean them at first – if you continue you will – and your life will begin to change. And, while the only one we can ever change is ourselves, when we begin to experience positive changes in our life, it will have an effect on others. Know that whatever our current situation is, we have created it. The good news is that now we can consciously choose the life we desire.

Once we decide what we want, and can love ourselves enough to accept having it, the positive affirmations set a powerful force in motion, and we have only to persevere to be successful. Say every day as often as possible: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am willing to do what it takes to change my thoughts. I give thanks for the good that comes to me now, and affirm that only good goes out from me to the world.

Negative thought patterns often take time to change, so we need to be patient and gentle with ourselves. When we begin to falter or doubt, we must take heart and know that millions of others have taken responsibility for their lives and are proving that when they change their thoughts, their lives change. Say every day: I never give up and I never give in—and victory will be yours.
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

When You Don't Feel Good ... You Realize Mind Over Matter Really Matters

2010-11-22T09:23:00.003-07:00

Because I chose a decade ago to commit to a spiritual path, I also chose to grow through life and learn the lessons presented to me, instead of just going through it. So, it isn’t unusual for me to look at challenges – after an initial (not so uplifted) human response – as continuing opportunities to meet deeper layers of life issues to learn how to create a healthier and happier life. Yet, as I said I am human.

And I was recently pulled up short when I realized that for several months I had ignored the fact that I was mentally conflicted about some decisions that needed to be made regarding the cover of my latest book. By the time I slowed my pace enough to realize there were also emotional and spiritual issues tied to these decisions, I was already manifesting the resulting imbalance in my physical body as a full-blown sinus infection.

I know that illness is a message from our souls indicating we need to change our limiting thoughts and beliefs. Yet as human beings we often get so caught up in the demands, desires and dramas of life that we forget, and fail to stop and remedy our situation before an illness announces the imbalance.

Since becoming more conscious and aware is my life goal, I am always interested in any information that supports me in creating a more balanced, healthier life.

Several months ago I read an excerpt from a book titled “From Cancer to Power,” by Judy Mattivi Morley, in the Science of Mind Magazine. The brief account of her courageous and victorious journey was filled with worthwhile ideas.

All but one of the steps she shared was already part of my healthy routine, including: Coming to peace with whatever condition, event or situation is the challenge, and thus being able to forgive self and others and become free to switch our focus from “what isn’t working to things that are.” This allows us to change our thinking from negative to positive, which opens us to accepting what is. Once we can accept what is, we can take responsibility for our experience and move beyond it by controlling our responses to the events of our lives. Using the power of the mind to follow these steps and begin thinking positively will have a direct effect on the outcome we desire.

The one step that I was aware of but had given only passing attention to was Morley’s recommendation concerning identifying the benefits we receive from whatever experience we are having, no matter how negative it may seem. In this instance, the idea stayed in my consciousness, which to me meant it was time to take it more seriously. Once I put my mind to pondering what if any rewards I could possibly be reaping from this bout of sinusitis, I soon recognized three obvious ones.

First, it was another opportunity to learn what happens when I get so caught up with external issues that I fail to take responsibility for maintaining my health. Second, I realized that by allowing the mental and emotional unrest to drag on, instead of using good sense and stopping and resolving it, I allowed it to drain my energy and compromise my immune system. And third, the ailment necessitated taking time to care for my body, and in the process to realize a deeper insight into how to create a healthier, and thus happier life.

Once we accept the fact that it is possible to use the power of our minds to heal our bodies and our lives, only one step remains, and it’s optional – we must take in the information, make it part of our lives and use it. When our “human-ness” gets us off track in any condition, event or situation, we sometimes need a reminder that
mind over matter really matters.
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Living by Choice Instead of by Default

2010-11-08T08:15:00.003-07:00

Did you know that when there is a choice to make, and we don’t make it, that is also a choice? For many of us the fact that we had any choices in life was never really obvious to us. By the time we looked up, life had already happened to us and it seemed the only option possible was to make the best of it.

At some point in time, we may have wondered why our lives didn’t turn out more like the classic love-redeems-all movie “It’s a Wonderful Life,” in which the main character also experiences unfortunate life events but emerges the most beloved man in town. When that thought arises and there doesn’t seem to be any hope for reversing our negative cycle, we feel helpless. Many people in this situation are resigned to just “putting in their time,” as they believe the light at the end of the tunnel for them is a knowing that at some point it will all be over.

It doesn’t have to be that way. There is another choice, and when we choose to follow it at any time in our lives, it opens up the opportunity to consciously move out of the victim role, which is living by default, and deliberately creating fulfilling, meaningful and joyous lives. The original concept for doing this has been known for centuries, and now more and more people are becoming aware of the fact that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives.

What most people aren’t aware of, however, is the parameters that must be met in order to be successful in this process. For example, our desires need to resonate with truth at the core of our being. We must love ourselves enough to allow good into our lives. And we need to know our beliefs and priorities so that we will have a standard by which to measure our progress, as well as to make decisions easier, which helps us stay on track.

I know that may sound complicated, but before you make the choice to give up without giving it a chance, here is the good news. The true secret lies in making one simple choice. That choice will lift us out of being a victim, living by default, and give us the ability to realize the lives we truly desire. That “choice” is to go within and learn what we need to know about ourselves so that we can change our lives.

For those who may resist taking the inner journey, I offer the following: For a number of years I mistakenly believed that everything in life of any note was generated by activity in the external world. I certainly didn’t think I needed to spend time contemplating my navel. But I have known for a long time now that the opposite is true. Life is meant to work from the inside of us out.

I also resisted looking within because I was afraid of what I would find. What I discovered, to my great relief and pleasant surprise, was a sanctuary of unconditional love, support and wisdom that is within everyone and everything in the universe. I also learned that when we consciously align with this energy-intelligence-love, it automatically says yes to our conscious choices and actively assists in manifesting them in our life experience.

In choosing to live from the love, peace, happiness and trust in life that resides within us, we will naturally be drawn to choosing and expressing a more loving, harmonious and balanced state of being. As we become more positive and accepting of our good, this opens a path for all the health, abundance and goodness we consciously choose, and can accept, to be available to us. We are no longer living by default, but by choice.

We are now and always have been the point of power in our lives. At any moment we can choose to reclaim our power and begin to choose the lives we desire for ourselves and our loved ones. The only question is: Do we continue playing the role of victim and allowing life to happen to us by drifting into default? Or do we choose to step up and own the fact that we are the central character, the star, of our own lives? We are also the producer, director, scriptwriter and casting director. We are always free to create a comedy, a drama, a tragedy, a series of unfortunate events or a wonderful life. The choice is ours.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch ▪ One of the author’s most requested essays.

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

On Becoming a Human-Being Instead of a Human-Doing

2010-10-25T08:22:00.002-07:00

It wasn’t until my late husband became critically ill and I left the corporate world a decade ago to care for him that I became aware that for most of my life I had been a human-doing instead of a human-being.

The realization didn’t come quickly. For a long time I was so overwhelmed by all the challenges before me that I threw myself into activities that consumed the hours and days of my life. Evidently the strong work ethic I learned from my birth-family translated into feeling worthy only when I was fully engaged in doing something. The busyness also served to keep me from ever questioning how I was living my life, if it was working for me—and if not, why not?

When my husband’s health challenges became so serious that he had to be placed in a 24-hour care environment, the situation changed dramatically. I had released a number of external commitments in order to care for him, and for the first time in my adult life I found myself relatively free. The freedom proved unsettling. Not only did I desperately need to come to grips with the emotional situation with my husband, I needed to come to peace with what all of this would mean to my future life. After trying unsuccessfully to resolve the situation on my own through my usual direct-action efforts, I realized I didn’t know what to do. I felt helpless.

The time had come when I had to stop all the doing and turn within for answers. I was faced with the biggest challenge to my own peace of mind and sense of well- being—me. Or more accurately, the sum total of mental and emotional baggage that lived within me and that had determined my actions, inactions, thoughts, decisions and non-decisions my entire life.

I had an established daily routine of meditating, journaling and affirmative prayer, but because the job and then my husband’s situation took priority over my needs, the time I spent within was determined by those demands. Now I could spend as much time as desired.

My well-honed and single-eyed approach did prove beneficial in this instance. After months of this inner focus, I began to feel a sense of peace. For the first time in my life I was content spending time within. The meditation helped to discipline my racing “monkey-mind.” Gradually my mind opened to a deeper awareness of life and awakened me to my self, others and the eternal and sublime energy that is within each of us and everything in the universe, which we call God. I was realizing some balance in my life, which brought greater clarity to my thought processes and a growing ability to manage my emotional state. When I opened to loving myself, I became aware that my ability to love others in an unselfish and healthier way was greatly enhanced.

I discovered that meditation is a path to inner peace, as it enables us to connect with the sanctuary of unconditional love, guidance and support within that is the heart desire of every conscious person on Earth.

In this process I became a human-being instead of a human-doing. I no longer judged my worth or my life by what I do. By learning to live an inner-directed life, rather than seeking meaning outside myself, I know that whatever activity I engage in will be meaningful and purposeful.

There is a new-found peace and contentment at the core of my being, a sustained sense of well-being and happiness—no matter what conditions or situations arise. I am no longer driven to do. I allow myself to be.
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch - This is one of the author's most requested essays.

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The Simple Joys of Nature's Seasons

2010-10-11T08:11:00.002-07:00

In the desert where I live, triple-digit temperatures are finally beginning to drop during the daytime, and this means our fall is almost here. I have been doing some re-potting and planting of flowers in my small patio garden and am once again feeling the joy of being in harmony with nature.

I realize that many people are city dwellers today, and seldom think of the importance of nature in our lives. The tendency is to get caught up in the fast pace of life and forget what it feels like to connect with the Earth, feel the soil in our hands and participate in the natural cycles of life.

Still, I believe that we all share a primal response when we notice that nature is shifting into another seasonal change. It may be the falling leaves and a slight chill in the air, or in some areas the first snowfall, but for that fleeting moment we are reconnected to the Earth and grounded in the truth that we are one with everyone and everything on this planet.

While I have lived in the desert long enough to get used to just two seasons, hot and not so hot, there are definitely some rewards. In addition to giving relatives who live in more frigid zones a difficult time by announcing the balmy shirt-sleeve temperatures we enjoy on some of their coldest days, we can wear the same type of clothing year round.

Even though my family moved to the desert when I was a pre-teen, some of my most cherished memories are of winters in St. Louis, where the climate changes were definitely less subtle. For instance, I remember once as a young child I awakened before anyone else in my family with a heightened sense of excitement. And sure enough when I ran to the window and checked, there was the first snow of the season and it was so brilliantly white that in the light it seemed to be sprinkled with jewels. I also didn’t miss the fact that it looked at least six to eight inches deep.

Without another thought I grabbed my coat and quietly left the house barefoot and in what was surely a state of childhood bliss. There was not another footprint anywhere in sight. I ran to the end of our block one way and then to the other with an intention of being the first person to leave footprints in this magical gift. I believe that in marking the occasion in this way, I was paying homage to the blessedness of this natural event, as well as a child’s way of joyously welcoming another opportunity to have fun.

And fun we did have. When we weren’t in school, there were the special days of going with my older brothers to Lafayette Park and sailing down the hillsides on our sturdy wooden sleds, which they masterfully guided. On regular days, we younger kids satisfied our desire to drain every last bit of joy from the snow by building forts and having day-long snowball fights, interrupted only by the need to go indoors and thaw out and being forced to go to the bathroom, eat or put on dry clothes.

Even the adults seemed to appreciate the beauty of the local park, which became a snow-covered wonderland. The picture-postcard images of stately bare trees dressed in arctic-blue ice and outlined against the grey-blue skies were ethereally beautiful.

What great and treasured memories. Yet, as I look around my neighborhood today, there are mostly desert-friendly trees such as paloverde, olive, oleander, mesquite and greasewood. The sun is shining brilliantly, it is a balmy 75 degrees, and flowers are blooming all over the neighborhood, including bright-red geraniums on my back patio. And there will be no shoveling of anything, except maybe a little dirt. Life is good when we are in harmony with nature, no matter the reason or the season, or even the climate zone we call home.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch - This is one of the author's most requested columns.

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Are Do-Gooders Always Doing "Good"?

2010-09-27T07:04:00.002-07:00

I have a dear friend who is placed on a pedestal by almost everyone who knows her because she always puts everyone else’s needs before her own. She never says no, regardless of what is asked of her, or what hardship or inconvenience it might make for her. She is called angelic, blessed, caring, gentle, kind and unbelievably thoughtful.

You may have guessed that I am one of the few who would like to see “Mary” break out of that mold and take care of more of her own needs in order to keep the giving and receiving in balance. You may also have guessed that one of my own life lessons was learning the difference between performing healthy acts of loving kindness and setting myself up to become a martyr, which most often results in becoming a victim.

I believe that at this stage of Mary’s life she doesn’t recognize that she has needs or desires, or that by abdicating her power and being hooked into others’ expectations she is living someone else’s life, instead of her own.

There’s also a possibility that in another lifetime she was the opposite of all of those glowing adjectives now bestowed upon her and is seeking to balance the scale this time around. If that is true, she will ultimately learn that following either giving or receiving to the extreme will eventually prove detrimental to her physical, mental, emotional, spiritual balance and well-being.

If we can’t accept our self-worth, we sometimes compensate for this lack by spending our lives becoming “do-gooders” or “super do-gooders” like Mary, in an effort to prove to everyone else the inborn worthiness in us that we cannot accept for ourselves.

Unless we wake up, we will find ourselves stuck in situations and relationships that are out of alignment with our soul and our true selves. It often takes a dramatic illness or other life event to shake us up and allow us to realize there is a more balanced way to live that brings us peace and contentment, which is every human being’s heart desire and birthright.

When we turn within to that part of us where unconditional love resides, God, we open to an inner knowing that naturally guides us to balanced giving and receiving. Since both are equally sacred, we must be sure that any giving begins with giving to ourselves. For if our reservoir of self-love is low or in a negative position from too much giving and little or no receiving, then what we do give to others or a cause doesn’t pack enough energy, power or punch to have the desired positive effect. In fact the result may prove to be negative or at most ineffective as a result of this imbalance.

In today’s world, most of us realize that for our lives to truly work well, we must start with the basics. We must know who we are – powerful spiritual beings having a human experience – and also know our true heart’s desires. Once we resonate with this core information, then we align our thoughts and actions to focus on and support these aspirations until they manifest in our lives.

We all know that being human means that Life Happens and we need to be prepared for any roller-coaster times. Whenever I start to feel less-than, experience some new ailment, or that I’m rowing upstream, or wonder if I’m actually from another planet, I know I’ve been neglecting being good to me. It’s obviously time to get back to basics. And one of the key elements is to be sure that when I’m making up a To-Do List of Acts of Loving Kindness, I place my own name at the top.
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Copyright 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Technology Is Good ... But It's Not God

2010-09-13T08:39:00.002-07:00

Some friends recently spent an evening touting technology as the answer to changing the now-pandemic cultural decline that faces our world. Considering the fact that greed and selfishness, dishonesty and a lack of integrity, even simple civility, as well as truly caring for others and the Earth are the norm – that’s a big order. Since their premise was that the Internet, computers, cell phones and iPads would and are in the process of creating this cultural evolution right now, I listened intently for any examples of this positive trend. There weren’t any.

While I fully support expanded communication that empowers individual self-expression, I can’t help but recall that every time a new technology reared its head, it was heralded as a breakthrough for civilization. This happened whether the innovation was airplanes, space travel or iPods, but so far, the hoped-for promise of the accompanying uplifting of the conscious awareness of humanity hasn’t happened.

We need to understand that technology is merely a tool, and whether the results of its use are desired or undesired lies ultimately in the hearts and minds of human beings. For example, the laser can be employed as a miraculous healing tool or as a weapon. And, without humanity’s continuing aspiration to ever-increasing standards of ethics, morals and values, the “tools” and advances of technology will remain the property of corporate and government hearts and minds, which mean that they are motivated primarily by greed. The only question they ask is “Can we do this?” instead of “Should we do this?”

Scientific advances will continue to occur, and this is good. The challenge lies in the fact that we’ve made the acts of scientific and technological advances the priority rather than focusing on increasing the conscious awareness of human beings. What we must start seriously considering is how we can influence the outcomes of technology for the greatest ethical benefits of humanity as a whole.

When more and more individuals recognize that we have the power within us through our thoughts and words to heal our lives and to help change the world, our influence will affect the course of technology for the good of mankind. There is hope for a new world of consciousness emerging, but it won’t happen to us it must happen through us.

The concept of each of us being responsible for our own soul growth, as well as helping heal the world may not be as attractive as hoping and praying that science will save us in one giant technological leap, but the fact is that this do-it-yourself transformation is the only real solution. No matter how far we can travel into the cosmos, or how many advances science can pull out of manipulating matter, the underlying condition of humanity will not improve until we grow up and take responsibility for our lives, each other and our planet.
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Copyright 2010 © by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

When Nature Comes Too Close for Comfort

2010-08-30T09:25:00.001-07:00

First of all, I live in one of the largest metropolitan areas in the nation, but it’s still the lesser settled western part of the U.S., and sometimes the wild animals infringe on our lives.

Some of these desert denizens venture into heavily populated areas to find easy food sources and water. It’s fairly common to see coyotes with their young pups crossing the streets or even to see a snake slithering its way across a golf course. Fortunately most of us know which critters are relatively harmless, and which we should give a wide berth.

Recently I had an experience that brought home this difference. I heard a noise that sounded like something was chewing on my house. Through the open window I realized the commotion was coming from the backyard and it sure sounded like the crunching of metal.

I looked out the window and didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. But as the noise continued, I opened the sliding glass door and stepped onto the patio to check further.

My attention was immediately drawn to a small potted plant in a plastic pot, a recent gift that I had placed inside a larger decorative clay pot. The plant was whipping back and forth even though there was not a hint of wind. As I focused on the scene, I noticed something else that was strange. The heavy-duty gold decorative foil that was still wrapped around the smaller plastic pot was methodically and vigorously being pulled up and out toward the back of the clay pot. I couldn’t imagine what could be causing this.

Within a few moments two pointy ears appeared over the rim of the pot, and then a scraggly tail. It was a very scrawny squirrel! And it was eating the aluminum foil as fast as it could free it from the plastic pot. I instantly thought the squirrel was rabid because it was eating the foil instead of the plant, and retreated quickly to the safety of the house.

Watching through the glass door, I was mesmerized as the squirrel used its front paws to unwrap the foil from around the plastic pot and ravenously devoured every scrap of it. The only squirrels I had seen before were those that live in the northern part of the state and they are fat with full bushy tails and they eat acorns, not crunchy foil.

Finally, I called a wildlife organization and when I described the situation, the receptionist laughed and assured me my squirrel visitor wasn’t rabid. She added, “If they’re hungry enough they will eat anything on your house that they can bite off,” and proceeded to give me an example that was startling. She said they’ve been known to eat the external metal vents for household clothes dryers.

While my instinct is to assist or get help for our fellow creatures on this planet, this time I couldn’t. The expert’s advice was two-fold: Don’t put out food for the squirrel as it would only encourage more wild animals to show up at my door, and buy a cage to trap it in case it comes back and then transport it back to the wild. When I looked again, I saw the squirrel exiting through the drainage hole in the patio wall.

Until this experience, my encounters with nature had been as a benevolent, appreciative bystander. Yet, I was always fully aware of the awesome power of nature and the possible dangers in its sometimes raw dramas. This is why I no longer watch survival-of-the-fittest wildlife programs on PBS at dinner time. It’s also why I’m not ashamed to admit that when I drive by a pack of coyotes, I am relieved to be viewing them from the safety of my car. That same good sense prevailed when I met a starving squirrel that was devouring heavy-duty aluminum foil like it was a piece of acorn pie. My motto is better safe than sorry – thus the rationale for sharing this cautionary tail.
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Copyright 2010 © by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Take Heart: It's All Good!

2010-08-15T16:17:00.002-07:00

The phrase It’s All Good! has been around for years, and probably like many others I have repeated it glibly, and with only a superficial understanding. Recently though, the words took on new meaning for me. As a senior citizen, I often meander back through my memories and gain insights from my life. What I realized was that every event or situation that I judged as being the worst thing that ever happened to me turned out – sometimes much later – to be a blessing in my life.

In the beginning, for example, I was born the seventh child in a family of 10 offspring, six girls and four boys. Naturally I longed as a youngster to be from a one-child family. I remember complaining to my mother about this one too many times. She looked me squarely in the eyes and said simply, “Then you wouldn’t be here.” That ended my whining and started my journey to discover if there were any positives in having siblings, and especially in such great numbers. It was easier with the girls, the boys took much longer.

As the years passed and I matured, I realized what a sincere appreciation I had for my brothers and sisters, not only as dear friends, but as one of the major blessings in my life.

Later when I was in my mid-thirties, my marriage dissolved and I became the chief emotional and financial support for three children. For a few years I was devastated as I couldn’t believe such a terrible thing could happen to us. The book “Why Bad Things Happen to Good People” hadn’t been written yet, which would have offered me some much-needed insight into accepting responsibility for everything that happens in our lives.

Instead, I struggled on my own day-by-day to find out what I needed to learn during the eight years between the divorce and meeting and falling in love with my second husband. I took every free self-development class, read numerous self-help books and hung on the spoken or written words of every visionary who shared pearls of wisdom on how to create and live a better life. And the most important thing I did was to put the concepts I learned to work in my life.

Naturally I soon realized that the divorce gave me a chance to grow and learn and start becoming the person who would attract a more appropriate mate and be able to build better lives for me and my children.

My second marriage was everything we both desired and knew it could be. We had twenty-three wonderful years together. When he became ill in our twelfth year together, I soon realized that he was in a lengthy process that would end in death. I was stunned and thought what a sad and untimely way to end our beautiful love story … until my love for my husband and my desperation caused me to turn within seeking help from my higher consciousness, intelligence – God. With the daily guidance I received, we immediately knew this was a blessing as it totally transformed our experience. I was able to realize my heart’s desire and assist my beloved husband through his sacred last life journey in a way that was more loving, more enlightened and more joyous than I ever imagined it could be.

That wasn’t the full extent of the blessings. During the continuing daily communion with God, I discovered my life’s purpose, which I had sought since childhood, as well as the guidance to fulfill it. I was led to share what I was learning by writing the following books: One Ordinary Person’s Journey to God; The Heart Knows the Way—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within; Tea with Elisabeth, and You Can Live a Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World. That quartet will be followed by the soon-to-be released Becoming a Spiritual Warrior of the Heart and the 2011 release of You Can Heal Your Life and Change the World.

I recognize now that when we say It’s All Good!, we are actually acknowledging that we live in a benevolent and abundant universe that says “yes” to whatever order we place. Since we know that what we focus on mentally today, negative or positive, is what shows up in our lives tomorrow, it makes good sense to repeat the phrase as often as possible. In this way we are anchoring in an expectancy of good, as well as raising our consciousness so that we actually can experience life at a level where It’s All Good!
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Nature: The Remedy for What Ails Us!

2010-08-02T11:25:00.003-07:00

The serious challenges facing us and our country now make this the perfect time to take a break from the crazy-making reality of the external world. It appears as if we have fallen down the rabbit hole and nothing seems to be as it should. We desperately need to seek healthy, sane and wise answers that will help us calmly negotiate the rocky road ahead, and which will ultimately help heal our country and the world.

But the truth is that these answers will never come from the chaos and fear that surround us. They will come only from within us by listening to our own inner guidance, the true compass for meaningful and successful lives. While there are many ways in which we can connect with our inner knowing, spending time in nature is the easiest and most accessible path for many people. Here we find a nurturing space that holds the antidote that can counteract the poison of today’s world of double standards and double-dealing. Nature is, above all else, incapable of deceit, dishonesty or hypocrisy.

In nature’s sincere, pure simplicity lies the opportunity to reconnect with the true values in life: honesty, integrity, love and kindness and caring for others and the Earth.

Some of the older generation can remember when their parents, grandparents and great grandparents were in such close communion with nature that they could “read” the signals in the skies and predict the weather and the ebb and flow of seasonal changes. We need to return to that primordial respect and reverence for nature.

When we lost this closeness, we also lost our innate awareness of how we fit into the natural order of life on Earth. We feel this loss of connection as a fear, and desperately seek to cover it up by continually focusing on the busyness of the external world. Yet no matter how hard we push ourselves or what ridiculous levels of activity we aspire to and attain the feeling of being alone and disconnected never goes away.

As we spend time in nature, however, we feel our wholeness in the well-ordered cycles, and sense our oneness with life throughout the cosmos. We also experience inner peace because Mother Nature does not judge us, and this helps us renew our trust in life.

Our distant ancestors knew of the healing power in nature. They would often take those who were ill or emotionally distraught into the forests so that the powerful energy in the trees would soak up any confused energy, which calmed them and hastened their healing. This gives new meaning to free-standing urgent care centers.

As nature is the true language of our being it speaks to us at a soul level through beauty and the intelligent order of the universe. It reminds us that we are one with all life and a vital part of the whole. Reawakening to these truths is the true path to inner peace and the remedy for what ails us, society and our planet.
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch – The author is on holiday and this is one of her most requested essays.

The author’s books: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!”; “Tea with Elisabeth,” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

The Gift That Only You Can Give Yourself

2010-07-19T08:48:00.003-07:00

The more time I spend in and observing nature the more I learn about myself. It recently dawned on me that I have spent my entire life in an effort to learn to relax and be who I am. I discovered this by watching the rabbits and birds that frequent my lush yard. They are totally content with being what they are.

I smile when I think about what it must be like to be a blade of grass, whose only role in life is to grow and be green. In doing so, it fulfills its purpose and enhances the beauty of a yard or field. What a sad and frustrating experience it would be for that blade of grass to spend its lifespan wishing to be a flower, a shrub or a tree. Yet, not being grounded and accepting who we are seems to be part of the human condition, resulting in many of us spending our lives striving to be something that we are not.

It does not have to be and should not be that way. Each of us is important, as no one else can be who I am, or who you are. It is only our wayward minds that confuse and frustrate us and keep us from enjoying the fullness of what it means to be alive in this form here and now.

I believe the most important element in overcoming this tendency is to come to peace within ourselves and accept who we were born to be. Our culture is so focused on the external world that we rarely, if ever, take the time to explore the inner world that is within us.

Many people believe that life is what happens to us externally, and our role is to react to whatever comes our way, but that is not so. The fact is that the point of power is within us and has always been. We need to realize that the way life is supposed to happen is from within out—not the other way around. When we understand this, we become empowered and can determine much of what happens to us in life.

We have the power to stop our fear-based frantic search for answers outside ourselves. Unfortunately, our culture focuses on and requires that we not be in touch with ourselves or with our environment, much to the detriment of both.

Going within and connecting with our inner selves is an absolute necessity. It naturally leads to connecting with that larger part of us that knows we are one with everyone else, with all life, as well as with the Earth itself. At that point, there is no confusion or frustration about who we are or what our purpose is on this planet, as it is simply to be fully and wholly who we were born to be.

Once we make this connection, we will be free of the thoughts that have kept us off-balance and off-purpose and that preclude us from achieving our full human potential. There is great power in this knowing—power that can change our lives and the world. It is the gift that only you can give to you.
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch - The author is on holiday. This is one of her most requested columns.

The author’s books The Heart Knows the Way--How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within; Tea With Elisabeth and You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

What to Do When the Biggest Block to Our Happiness ... Is Us

2010-07-05T08:41:00.002-07:00

I am a writer – a creative person – by profession and, I freely acknowledge, a highly sensitive person by nature. From what I know, this isn’t an out-of-the ordinary personality combination. What this has meant to me in everyday life is that kind words are like sunshine to a flower. And, conversely, any negative energy directed my way is like a physical blow, which can cause my energy to plummet along with my sense of self.

In the past, when the latter happened, I would dip into a victim mode that was as familiar as an old tape that had been replayed many, many times. My subconscious instantly sent out a message that said: Here it is again! Send her the same emotional responses. It didn’t matter what happened, when conflict arose, the result was the same. The situation automatically triggered all the bad thoughts I’d ever had about myself which confirmed that I was unworthy and unlovable. Then up came the same old feelings that ranged from anger, blame, grief and sadness to a sense of helplessness. The feelings were so powerful at times that it was impossible to focus on anything else.

Thankfully, I’ve learned that the emotional angst and pain we go through at those times is a message from our soul pushing us to learn a more healthful response and to grow through the issue. I also believe that when the same challenges occur repeatedly, we’re being told that this is an important lesson and we will continue attracting similar experiences until we learn the lesson and move beyond it.

As part of my desire to grow through this specific lesson, I adopted a process that has helped many people in similar situations. The key is to have a behavior program in place that supports us on all levels and sets the stage for success every day. The primary step is to start each morning with a 20 minute meditation. This centers us and balances our body, mind and spirit. If meditation isn’t desirable, we simply set our intention, go within, close our eyes and sit in silence. Focusing on a single word such as love, peace, joy, harmony or happiness often helps calm the mind. The important thing is to switch our focus from the external world and to get in touch with our inner selves, which is the starting place for everything that shows up in our lives.

Next, since it is fairly typical in our culture to view our lives as insignificant and our selves as unworthy of good, it is important that we consistently feed into our subconscious positive affirmations/statements that honor and value our worth. Each time we do this, it sets up a desired pattern in our subconscious that supports and increases our life force-energy. Those you write for yourself will be more powerful as they engage your energy, but here are some examples: I am enough. I am worthy. I love myself. I am peace. I am love. I am kindness. I am powerful.

No matter how simple and unimportant our life contributions may seem to us, every single thing we do is part of our sacred and heroic journey to fulfill our life purpose. Whether it is being a loving parent, being kind to others or showing up at a job every day to support our families, it is important and has meaning and worth. We must keep a ready list in our minds of our positive characteristics and traits and recall them often so that we are consistently supporting our core self instead of subconsciously sabotaging our sense of self and blocking our good.

Another good thing to recall often is that one of the rules of living on Earth is learning lessons and growing through life instead of just going through it. We are spiritual beings born into this life to have a human experience. This means we are not only inherently good – we are born with the power to create the lives we desire. What we create in the external world, and whether it is desirable or undesirable, lets us know if our life force is high or low and how successfully we are managing it.

As we continue to become conscious and aware of our life force-energy and to maintain it at a higher level, we find that undesirable situations aren’t popping up as often. When they do come up, we recognize them for the gift they are, another opportunity to grow, which is the only reason we are here. And what an incredible and desirable change – from unconsciously blocking our own happiness to being part of the solution.
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch – The author is on holiday and this is one of her most requested essays.

The author was executive editor and co-author of the recently-released book, “Tea with Elisabeth.” Her other books include: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within.” All are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers.

Balancing the Ego and the Real Self ... the Key to Freedom and Success

2010-06-21T14:31:00.002-07:00

It took me many years to understand that in order to live a meaningful existence and successfully fulfill my life’s purpose I had to free the vise grip of the ego and balance it with my true essence. The ego-self is that aspect I call the “little me, the fearful me.” My true essence or my “real self” is that part of me that knows my inherent self-worth, my capabilities and also recognizes that I am a necessary and vital part of life on Earth.

Actually, for most of those uncomprehending years, I didn’t even know there was a difference between my real self and an inflated ego-self – and I had no idea that knowing who you really are is vital to living a successful life free of negatives that limit you in all you do. Like many people when I imagined someone with high self-esteem I pictured an individual surrounded by people hanging on his or her every word. I immediately, and enviously, presumed that such a person had healthy self-esteem.

Now I know that could be true but it might also just be someone with a well-rehearsed and manufactured sense of self that doesn’t come from the core of their being.

Many of us learned in psychology class that how we really think about ourselves can determine how we function in the world in every facet of our lives, including how successful we will be in any endeavor. This is true.

We were also taught that who and what we think we are is based on our own past experiences and our judgments of the same, as well as the opinions that others hold about us. That is not wholly true.

We are so much more than the sum of our critical judgments of self and the often erroneous opinions of others. Obviously it is true that what we experience in life does play a part in the beliefs we hold about ourselves, but using only that method of determining our individual self-worth omits any awareness of the full spiritual magnificence of who we truly are.

Today we know that behind the ego-self there is a spiritual ego that seeks to express through us as our real self. This is our inborn truth, our essence. We are individualized expressions of God, the energy-love-intelligence that permeates everything in the universe, and that is also the nature of who we are. Once we can own and embrace our sacredness and our unity with all life, it is much easier to reclaim our natural and healthy self-worth.

As we progress toward releasing the self-deception, subterfuge and masks hiding who we really are, this triggers a spontaneous process that is inherent in every human being. While the transformational process comes up spontaneously, nothing happens beyond that unless we actively continue our efforts to be in balance. This is of vital importance today as humanity’s unbalanced state of consciousness has created the troubled world we live in right now. If we want to change the existing negative situations, we must elevate our consciousness by balancing our ego with our real selves.

The first step in recognizing and expressing our real selves is to clear away anything that separates us from our actual and genuine goodness, love and generosity, as well as our feelings and wonderful human ways of being. We do this by living a life grounded in integrity, principles and values and aligning with the goodness at the core of our being. When we make a conscious choice to do this, the inborn transformational process is engaged and assists us in freeing our real selves.

This freedom to be who we were really born to be is not within the power of governments to give, nor can it be won through war, but is inherent in humanity’s DNA, if we will only recognize it.

To help us realize a healthy balance between our ego and our real selves, I recommend the following positive affirmations be repeated daily as often as needed: Today I accept the fullness of my true Self. I claim and express my inborn essence in everything I think, say and do. I am heir to all the Good that is, and this Good goes before me every day of my life, fulfilling my needs, and filling every situation with balance, harmony, peace and love. And So It Is!
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Creating Hope and Happiness in a World Rocked by Challenge and Change

2010-06-08T17:39:00.002-07:00

There is no way to minimize the huge problems we face in our world. I have written about the lack of honesty, integrity, morals and ethics, as well as commonsense, that has become pandemic. And if that decline wasn’t bad enough in itself, it has spawned a culture of insatiable greed that permeates every level of our lives.

I added some other challenges, including pollution, the politicizing of critical issues, global warming, over-population, healthcare, war, terrorism, religious differences, illegal immigration, poverty, and economic problems – along with the widespread lack of understanding by individuals as to what to do about these seemingly unsolvable challenges.

Then I mixed in the fact that we are in the midst of a transformational change brought on by the speed with which technological advances are becoming part of our lives. There is already an excessive global reliance on the Internet and we are obsessed with high-tech “toys.” According to the experts, nanotech – the revolutionary science of creating devices and products from single atoms and molecules – will alter life as we know it by the end of this century.

When I paused to take in a breath, a sense of sadness washed over me as the reality of all the difficulties sank in. This was followed immediately by a total lack of interest in continuing to focus on problems. In my opinion we’ve done too much of that already, and all it has done is foster a sense of helplessness and hopelessness.

With that change of thought, up rose pure joy, hope and an expectancy of good because I realized there is something we can do as individuals.

I remembered what some of the masters, spiritual sages and visionaries of the past have said. They described life on Earth as a beautiful banquet of selections from which we have the freedom to choose, and our experience is meant to be as easy and enjoyable as a stroll in the park on a warm sunshiny day.

Naturally, this means that until humanity has evolved enough to make only choices that benefit all life, we will still face serious and confusing challenges. What we need to discover is a path between the ideal we seek and the reality of what is right now. This will help us cope with our fear and resistance to change. Then, instead of opposing change, a constant in life, we will be able to partner with it to co-create better lives while we continue evolving into more conscious and aware human beings.

The concept that great thinkers and spiritual masters have been trying to teach us for eons is simply – It is done unto us as we believe. This means that what we think, believe, say and express on a daily basis becomes reality in our individual lives, as well as contributing to world thought and creating our global experience.

If the results are not desirable, we can change them by changing our thoughts. This is where we acknowledge and accept our own power.

As long as we continue thinking negatively about everything that is going on in our lives and in the world, we remain part of the problem. If we can stop the gloom and doom thinking and blaming others, and start thinking positively, we will change in ways we can’t even imagine. For starters, we will no longer be depressed as we will be part of the solution and victims no more.

While we may not know what the future will look like – how our economies will work, how our health will be preserved, how our children will be educated, how we will use technology rather than allowing it to use us – we can trust that the best-case scenarios are taking place instead of the worst. By focusing our energies, we can help evolution happen by design and in decency and order instead of by default and in chaos and despair – a huge difference.

Current conditions signal that it is time to take responsibility for being a co-creator of what happens on Earth. Here’s my prescription: Put a big smile on your face, laugh and be happy at every possible opportunity, move forward confidently and courageously each day – and repeat the following positive affirmations to anchor in the truth of who we really are: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am eternal, immortal and infinite. I trust in life, change, love, wisdom, wholeness, peace- God. All is well in my life and the world! And So It Is!
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Nature's Way ... or, Lending a Helping Hand?

2010-05-24T08:23:00.001-07:00

I have written about the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual benefits of being connected with nature and the wonderful events that I have witnessed in our spectacular world. Usually, I am a benevolent bystander with no role except to be in heart-mind bliss as a natural adventure unfolds. This time it was different, and as I later recalled the law of nature – survival of the fittest – I wondered if what I did was appropriate.

About three weeks ago, I realized that for the third year in a row a quail couple had established a nest in one of the flower pots on my back patio. I was thrilled.

My attention was hooked early Sunday evening when I noticed the papa quail pacing back and forth on the patio wall. Mama quail was on the nest. I knew this because every five minutes or so she would loudly and emphatically express something that was obviously very important. It seemed to me that she really wanted papa quail to get her message, so the decibels gradually escalated. His responses were brief and calm.

I was in the house reading a book and could look up and see what was going on. After a couple of hours, the conversation and the behavior became more intense. Now the female was really loud and coming out of the nest every two minutes. The papa quail would then fly down to the ground and for a micro-minute each would pick at tiny seeds, fly into the nest for a split second and then make a hurried flight to the top of the patio wall. The female would pause for a second and then return to the nest and resume the ritualistic behavior of ducking in and out of the nest, while the male continued daddy-duty pacing the wall.

The situation seemed intense and I wondered if something was wrong, so I called several friends seeking advice. I also tried the Internet by googling “Nesting habits of Gambel quail,” and found nothing that would help me.

Just before dark, I saw the female return to the nest and evidently settle in because suddenly all was quiet. I couldn’t see the male, but assumed he maintained his vigil. When I awakened at sunrise, I hurried outside and found the nest abandoned, with three baby chicks peeping away and three eggs that hadn’t hatched and eleven empty shells. Evidently for some reason unknown to me the parents had no option but to leave in order to save the chicks that did make it out of the nest.

I ran to the computer and didn’t give up until I found a site that gave me a name and a local number to call for help. When Jeani Garrett, the director of Arizona Covey, a bird rescue and rehabilitation organization, answered the call, she told me exactly what to do and where to bring the three chicks and any un-hatched eggs as soon as possible.

Realizing that time was of the essence, I thought maybe the chicks had a better chance of making it than the still-intact eggs, so I picked them up with a spoon, placed them on a towel in a small box and made the 25-minute drive to the drop-off spot in 15 minutes. When I was halfway there, the chicks became quiet, and my heart skipped a beat, but after a few minutes the peeping returned and it was even stronger.

When Jeani answered the door, she immediately scooped up the three chicks and lovingly placed them in a huge glass aquarium. It was subdivided into an incubator, intensive care unit and a nursery that held about a hundred peeping and constantly moving baby quail. The sight and sounds lifted my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

She sent me back straightaway to retrieve the three un-hatched eggs. When I returned, she told me that the three hatchlings I had brought in only thirty minutes before were already out of ICU and peeping their way to health, and she also said the eggs would hatch in the incubator. With her expertise six baby quail would be saved.

On the more leisurely drive home, I wondered about intervening in the ways of nature. Had I allowed my emotions to get carried away and interfered in a way that wasn’t appropriate? Or, because I sense the unity and sacredness of all life in nature, was I simply allowing my inner guidance to direct my actions? I pray it was the latter.
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

It's in Our Best Interest to Help Others ... and Not Just When There's a World Disaster

2010-05-09T22:30:00.005-07:00

We all know that when a disaster happens anywhere in the world, the media coverage of our government’s obligatory financial largesse and the noteworthy contributions by a relatively small percentage of Americans makes us feel all warm and fuzzy. We are once again lulled into the false perception that individually and as a society we still look after each other on a daily basis. This may have been true once upon a time in our nation’s pioneer days, but it certainly isn’t the case now.

Many of us think of our current reality with sadness as we realize the vision that underscored the concept of America – creating a nation of people who would live by a code of conduct worthy of the mythical Camelot – is slipping through our fingers.

The truth is that the actions of a proportionally small number of generous and good Americans stand in marked contrast to our country’s prevailing attitude of every man for himself.

This unhealthy syndrome has reached pandemic proportions and has resulted in a startling erosion of empathy, ethics, morality and values in this country. This is evidenced by the number of individuals who no longer feel a twinge of conscience at trampling on the rights of others.

I believe this negative approach springs from an existing "poverty consciousness," which translates into thinking there isn’t enough, or won’t be in the future, of whatever we need or want. This plays out in everyday life as the acceptability and, even worse, the necessity of grabbing whatever we can by any means imaginable for survival – and too bad for anyone else.

It is way past time to take a sobering look at the ethical and moral decline in our country. And finding our way out of this undesirable situation will entail much more than pointing our fingers at political figures and others who have feet of clay – it is also about each of us. We must heal ourselves of this greediness disease in order to heal our country.

The simple truth is that we do live in an abundant universe that is based on fundamental laws such as the Law of Attraction. This means that we draw to us what we think and live individually, as well as on a national basis. What we express affects everyone else. If our expression is negative this is what we manifest in our lives. The opposite is also true, however, so when we act from our highest and best selves this positively affects our lives, as well as the lives of everyone else.

I believe the vision for America is still viable, we just lost sight of our responsibility as citizens and abdicated our attention for too long and the result has been disastrous.

The first step we must take is to individually select and adhere to the highest standards in all our interactions with others, publicly and privately.

We must also recognize the fact that fully realizing America’s spiritual destiny/potential will take the conscious commitment and dedication of each one of us.

I believe there are many millions of people here and abroad whose hearts and souls resonate with the words of the song from the movie “Camelot”: … Don’t let it be forgot/that once there was a spot/for one bright, shining moment/that was known as Camelot. We can’t let the light go out.
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Aging Gracefully ... Or Not

2010-04-25T22:34:00.002-07:00

I received an invitation recently to a reunion of an organization I belonged to almost four decades ago. This was followed by one of those moments that I experience often at this stage of my life. I was semi-attracted to the event, but after a brief reverie, I wondered if my interest was more about being remembered rather than in actually attending.

It occurred to me that a dear friend had also been a member at the same time, so I e-mailed her asking for her thoughts on the relevance of the event to us. This was her response:

I am semi-interested, but I will have to lose 50 pounds, get a facelift and tummy tuck, dye my hair or wear a wig, find a fashion designer who has the expertise and experience to outfit me in a flattering way – if there is such a person – and learn to walk in high heels again, but let me think about it.

Her ready sense of humor highlighted the challenge of being a female senior citizen in a society that tries every day using any means possible to deny, hide and slow signs of the aging process. It’s very easy now with plastic surgery, liposuction, breast and hair implants, hair dyes, as well as fashion savvy and health spas, to elect to remove a few wrinkles or several or more decades of normal wear and tear.

Being members of the rare birds species that have embraced natural aging as part of being born into life on this planet, we stand out like Oprah at a Kitty Kelley book signing. I often wonder if others look upon our courageous stand as being a healthy and balanced way of accepting what is, or as old fogies who don’t have the guts to move with the high-tech-Avatar times and go for all the gusto with every high-tech means at our disposal.

While many seniors have accepted that the obvious signs of aging, such as grey hair, liver spots, memory loss, lack of energy and gravity’s relentless pull, are reminders that no one makes it out of this adventure alive, millions of others are in a fevered rush to stop the march of time – or at least that part we can see. We’re living in an era when the nearly-dead and newly-weds can look about the same.

Evidently everybody didn’t get the same memo, which is that we’re here on Earth to learn how life really works. In order to do that we need to fully embrace each stage of life and glean the lessons from it. In this way we discover what is truly important, and can live better lives and die better deaths.

This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Woody Allen: "I’m not afraid to die; I just don’t want to be there when it happens." Maybe fear of dying is one of the motivators behind the frantic search for the fountain of youth. But the truth is that no matter how young we can manage to look, when our time comes we’re still going to die.

Being human, when I look at a photo of me in the bloom of youth, I feel a twinge for what was. Yet I wouldn’t trade one wrinkle to try to reverse time, actually or artificially. It is meant for us to become more real and authentic and to express more of the spiritual beings we were born to be. We need to embrace every season of life and learn everything we can from our experiences.

I believe that the perks in seeking to age naturally, gracefully and healthfully are freedom, peace, power and wisdom. We use the wisdom gained to choose what is for our highest and best good. With freedom and power we claim that right and decline everything else. This brings us an inner peace that is priceless.

I e-mailed back to my friend: Forget abut struggling into Spanx and forcing your feet into shoes you haven’t worn since your grandson’s college graduation. Give thanks for elastic waistbands and take a deep breath – your brain will love it. By declining this invitation, we can be in our pajamas that evening by 7:00 pm or 8:00 pm at the latest, enjoying a healthful dinner of our choice and watching PBS or reading a new book. Let’s talk. LOL
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

I Believe in the Miracle of Life

2010-04-12T00:09:00.001-07:00

When we can accept the fact that we live in a loving, miraculous universe and can align with the awareness of that, miracles of all types abound and surround us, including those in nature. The miracles I’m talking about often occur in quiet ways – and if you aren’t open to such gifts you would miss seeing them because they can come and go in an instant.

For example, today as I walked across the grass to the mailbox, I was stopped by a vibrant ball of red energy that hovered before me about a foot in front of my eyes. As I focused, I realized it was a tiny, chubby hummingbird with a ruby red throat. I was transfixed in amazement. When I slowly reached out my hand as a perch, it moved and hovered closely over it. I don’t remember hearing the movement of its wings, or thinking anything. I was just totally present in the moment. Then the tiny bird whirled and it was gone.

Yesterday the workmen completed the required drainage work on my patio and at dusk all the furniture and potted plants had been returned to their appointed places or close to it. Naturally, I was out there bright and early this morning to do some fine-tuning.

My kids tend to humorously dismiss the time I spend in my beloved garden as “just puttering around.” Someday they will realize that showing up in nature, as in life, and being conscious and aware is the key to experiencing magical happenings.

This day was no exception. As I leaned down to admire the new catch basin, I sensed movement under the large glider-swing and bent over a little more so that I could see what it was. There were two tiny baby bunnies, the smallest and youngest I had ever seen. I was thrilled and welcomed them with a gentle soothing voice, which I hoped would reassure them. It didn’t, so I quietly walked to the other end of the patio.

As I embraced the moment and watched the playful bunnies, I recalled a few of the many miracles I have experienced in nature through the years. One day I noticed a small bird’s nest outside my bedroom window and from my perspective the only occupant looked like a medium-size worm. It was interesting that an adult hummingbird visited the nest a number of times during the day, and before long the “worm” turned out to be a baby hummingbird. From then on I was enthralled and watched every day, and was there front row, center when the baby hummingbird took its first and last flight from the nest. The mom and offspring never returned. Another time I was stunned to find a family of desert owls had taken up residence in our carob tree, and they stayed there for a week. This was the first time I had ever seen an owl outside of a zoo.

Similarly I had never seen a raccoon until a family of them moved into our yard, and left their distinctive paw prints on the skylight as they scampered across the roof at night.

For the past several years, in the early spring, a quail couple has set up housekeeping in one of my larger flower pots producing twelve baby quail the first year and seventeen the next. During the first event, my sister was visiting and together we watched the dozen baby quail either rappel down the asparagus fern fronds or simply bail out and land in soft plumps on the brickwork. Each time I watched in pure joy and delight as the tiny quail moved in unison as a quivering and wriggling mass of life energy while learning from their parents how to survive their first day on Earth.

In my experience, being in alignment with the universal life force-energy-God, and consciously directing our positive thoughts and prayers toward realizing good opens the way for marvelous things to occur in all areas of our lives. As this becomes a habit, we begin to train our minds to contemplate, to pay attention and to expect good. As our trust increases, we not only believe in miracles we can rely on them.
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

When Changes Come Up, the Ego Also Rises

2010-03-29T00:20:00.002-07:00

It shouldn’t have been a surprise. I know that change is the only constant in life and nothing remains the same for long. I have learned to cope with many life changes, but when one affects my inner peace, it commands my full attention.

I’ve also known for a long time that life on Earth is all about learning lessons. When it is time for us to grow – or past time – the universe gives us a shove by presenting us with changes that are opportunities to stretch and continue expanding our awareness.

I confess that like many people, the older I get the more I resist change. The most recent example of this surfaced for me when I once again heard from family and friends that it was time for me to move into a single-level house because my future health situation might preclude being able to negotiate stairs.

First of all, I’m healthy and love everything about my townhouse, from the location to the vaulted ceilings and the upstairs bedroom – which reminds me of a childhood tree house – to the small patio garden that allows me a daily dose of God’s beauty and goodness. Second, since I believe in living in the present and expecting the best, it didn’t make sense to sell my beloved house now because of an imagined possible negative situation in the future.

However, their concern lingered in my mind, as it seemed so strong and sincere that I began doubting my decision. Was I just being stubborn and foolish, or worse yet, experiencing every senior citizen’s worst nightmare – losing our grip on reality? The more I thought about that, the more I dipped into fear and it was impossible to think about moving or not moving objectively.

After a week of angst, I realized that I was in a tug-of-war with that part of self with the small “s” which refers to the “little me,” the ego. In other words, the ego seeks to control our experiences in the world based on false information we subconsciously believe about ourselves. This includes our weaknesses, defenses, sense of self-worth and our fears, especially the fear of big changes in our lives.

When I finally turned within and asked for guidance, I was led to mentally go back to the time I made the original decision to remain in the townhouse after the death of my husband. As I settled into this experience, I once again felt the love and clarity of that moment. I also realized quickly that in doing this I had reclaimed my inner peace.

Free of the ego’s grip and the fear of change, I was now open to allow wisdom and truth to flow through me. I was fully and wholly able to bless my family and friends for caring and to confirm my original decision as long as it made sense – and when it didn’t any more, I would make whatever change was needed at that time.

When changes, challenges and life decisions come up that threaten our equilibrium, we can be certain that the ego also rises. What we don’t have to do is give in to the vise grip of the ego, which can so discombobulate us that we can’t see the truth in a situation and come to a clear, reasoned decision.

Since we’re aware that as long as we are on Earth there will be changes, as well as more lessons to learn, I recommend repeating these daily affirmations: I choose God-Truth and make healthy, life-enhancing choices about every change, challenge or decision that presents itself in my life. In, for, with and through God, nothing can threaten my inner stability!
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The Gift In Releasing the Ego: Expressing Our True Selves

2010-03-14T23:01:00.002-07:00

I was first introduced to the concept of self-mastery years ago through a book by Stuart Wilde. He said that at some point on our spiritual journeys we must learn to control our emotions and thoughts so that we can – my words – keep our egos in check and express our true selves.

As I focused on the idea of self-mastery, I thought back to my husband’s lengthy death process and the dramatic and life-changing experience that enabled me to release my ego and express the highest and best within me. This also brought to mind a number of defining moments in my life that set the stage for this situation to manifest in our lives.

At age 10, I was spending a week at my maternal grandparents’ farm during summer vacation. These visits were one of the highlights of my life and were usually marked by love, laughter and music, as my grandfather played the violin and my grandmother the organ.

One night while I was there, my grandfather died in his sleep and the next day as relatives arrived, the energy in the house shifted. This was my first encounter with death, and I was stunned that conversation was reduced to whispers, and everything, including the black clothing everyone was now wearing, created a dark cloud of grief, fear and foreboding. No one could or would spend much time in the same room with my grandfather, even my grandmother, as she would collapse in tears. I felt only love and peace, so I sat with him until they took his body away.

When I was twelve, my best friend, Mary, came to school and told me her grandmother had died the night before. My face must have registered my feelings because before I could speak, she said, “Oh, it wasn’t like that.” She explained that her grandmother called all the family into her hospital room and told each one how much she loved them. Then she smiled and said, “Now go home. I’m going home.” She died that night. Both of these end-of-life situations were seared in my consciousness.

After an early marriage to an equally young spouse, and the ensuing emotional upheaval of divorce, I was led to a spiritual philosophy that I could embrace with my heart and mind – and which also provided the tools I needed to create a successful life. Within seven years after the divorce, I had met and married the love of my life.

From then on, no matter what was going on in my personal or business life, I was drawn like a magnet to all the books on death and dying. I attended a host of conferences and workshops led by most of the leaders in this field, including Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the acknowledged world expert on the subject. I had also become a hospice volunteer and assisted a number of patients in their death processes, as well as a brother-in-law, two siblings and my parents.

By that time, I knew that a major component of my life purpose was to assist a fellow soul through the death process in a way that was more conscious and aware, more spiritually enlightened and more loving than I had ever heard of or read about.

What I didn’t understand back then was that the ability to facilitate this experience must happen through me – which meant that somehow I would have to grow in conscious awareness in order to fulfill this life goal. I also had no idea when, with whom or how I was to accomplish this out-of-the ordinary objective.

In what seemed a miraculous coincidence, Dr. Kübler-Ross relocated for her health in 1994 to a city near my home; our paths crossed again and we became close friends. At that time, my beloved husband’s health was beginning to fail and I knew immediately that this was the time and he was the individual that I was to assist through the death process in a different way. However, after a few years of trying to do it by myself, I realized I was failing. I called Elisabeth seeking her counsel, and her advice was, “Follow your heart, Fern, your heart knows the way.”

I thought I had been doing that, but after reflection I knew my friend was gently reminding me to turn to the greater power within me, instead of trying to do it all alone. Actually I had been seeking a connection with God through meditation, prayer and journaling for many years, but after all that time it was still a one-sided conversation. The next defining moment happened as if on cue.

A few days later when I went to visit my husband at the hospital, I found him in a non-lucid state. I was shocked when he asked me to arrange a wedding for him with the young aide who brought his food tray. I knew he recognized me, but obviously he didn’t remember that we were married or anything about our wonderful life together. My ego was devastated. I cried all the way home.

I went straight to my meditation chair, but instead of sitting down I fell to my knees in abject sorrow and surrender. I cried until I couldn’t cry any more. When I stood up, I felt an empowering surge of energy course through me. I wiped my face and declared to God: I will never give up or give in. I will have this personal connection with you or know the reason why not!

From that day forward, through journaling, I received the love, support and guidance we needed. I was also led to release my ego and then, no matter my husband’s physical or mental condition I was able to be totally present for him. Our experience was transformed. Three years later, he made his final transition in the time and way his soul desired. I was left with a joyous anticipation of the future, a reaffirmation of life and a deep inner peace.

The moral of this true story, and the gift in it, is that by gradually taking command of our egos and consciously correcting their limiting beliefs about us, we enter into the freedom of living our greater selves, the True Selves that we were born to be. This is the point of connection with God and all others. We are then grounded in the power that can satisfy our needs and in the balance-wholeness that dissolves all fears and uncertainties.
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Copyright © 2010 Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books, including “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

How Life on Earth Really Works: Mastering the Art of Living

2010-03-01T00:19:00.004-07:00

I recently received a letter from a friend who told me she is experiencing “an emotional earthquake.” Her marriage is broken, a divorce is in process and she and her children are devastated. I found myself greatly touched by her situation – partly because of the intensity of her heart-searing words and my caring for her – but also because I’ve been there.

Similar dramas are playing out daily across our country as divorce rates continue to soar. The reasons for this disturbing trend are many and varied, but primarily the explosion of failed marriages is due to each of us not knowing who we are, what we truly desire in life, a lack of awareness of what it takes to create a successful relationship and – even more important – having absolutely no idea How Life on Earth Really Works.

In preparation for what I would share with her when she was starting to heal emotionally and was ready to learn from the experience and move on, I started thinking back to my divorce three decades ago. I smiled as I recalled how at that time I believed and mourned the “fact” that my life was over – in my thirties. The smile broadened when I recalled that seven years after my divorce, I married the love of my life and lived the relationship I always knew was possible for twenty-three incredible years.

Today, almost a decade after his death, I experience joy and happiness every day as I continue to learn how life really works and to enhance my expertise in mastering the Art of Living.

If you follow my writings, you know that they focus on three basic concepts:
*Realizing we must align with our inner guidance, whether we call it our authentic self, soul or God – rather than buying into the crazy-making beliefs of the external world that are generally empty, ineffectual and valueless.
*Growing through life instead of just going through it.
*Knowing that by changing our thoughts, we can positively change our lives.

I know, for I have lived these concepts to the best of my conscious awareness and ability for thirty-plus years. It is an ongoing process, and I definitely have more work to do, but my current conscious awareness (compared to how I lived my life in the past) bears witness to the dramatic and real difference these principles can make in anyone's life.

Another insight I gained in those early and tumultuous years is that the only constant in life is change, and that things will happen. My good friend the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said, “There are no accidents, everything in life happens for a positive reason.” I agree totally. Usually a change that represents a defining moment is the result of a deep soul urging within us that is sending us a message – sometimes not too gently. The impetus is either to get us on track with what we came into this life to learn – or to pull us up short by any means possible to get our attention and help us make a course correction.

The message is always to help us become aware of who we really are – spiritual beings having human experiences – so that we can learn to walk the path as human beings while expressing our authentic true selves. When we become aware that life happens from within us out rather than from the external in, we are naturally moved to focus on the energy-intelligence-power that is in us and everything in the universe.

As individualized expressions of this energy, we become aware that this is where our real power exists and that we are to live from this awareness. When we align with this inner power and can control our thoughts and emotions, we are then able to make choices that bring into our lives what we really desire.

I pray that my friend will be open to the opportunity to choose a path that will enrich and balance her life, her family’s and all those she touches. The choice, as always, is hers to make. It also will take courage and commitment, but what in life that is truly worthwhile doesn’t?

Everything in life happens for a positive reason. When we can master the Art of Living – find love and peace within ourselves and live in harmony with friends, families and others – then there is an opportunity for peace within the Family of Man. Each soul is part of this divine plan.
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

How Life on Earth Really Works: Mastering the Art of Living

2010-03-01T00:19:00.001-07:00

Changing the Old Negative Idea of Selfish to "SELFNESS"

2010-02-15T08:23:00.001-07:00

When my generation of seniors was growing up, most of us were taught to place everyone else’s needs and desires above our own. Behaving this way was supposed to show that we were thoughtful, loving and helpful, as well as a shining reflection of our parents. Any indication that we were egotistically putting self first was looked upon negatively as selfish by our parents, teachers and other authority figures and considered right up there with life’s mortal sins.

In the decades between the 1930s and 1950s, no one seemed to realize that denying self could have damaging effects on every aspect of our lives – including our physical health. The result of this concept of child rearing – teaching children to put themselves last – has created countless numbers of individuals who believed we were not lovable, or worthy of good in our lives. This lack of worthiness meant that we failed to fulfill our own needs. Undoubtedly this contributed to or is wholly responsible for many difficulties, including our nation having the highest number of obesity-related health problems in the world.

It wasn’t until after 1960 when the “me-first generation” came into being that people began to recognize the two extremes. The truth is that there are countless millions of us who never bought into the blatant egotism of the “me-first” concept, and still haven’t replaced our equally unbalanced programming with more healthful thought processes.

We don’t have to look past our own families to see examples of loved ones, primarily women, but also men who were inculcated unknowingly into our culture’s twisted badge of honor concerning ignoring our own needs and placing others first even to our own detriment. Without being fully aware that they have a choice and can honor both, many mature adults, whether as professional caregivers or for love of family, continue sacrificing health and happiness in the pursuit of being martyrs without a valid cause.

Fortunately it doesn’t have to be that way. We now know that no matter what undesirable thoughts we hold deep in our subconscious – or how long we’ve held these thoughts – we can change them and in the process change our lives.

Being human, it sometimes takes a health problem or a serious life event to let us know we are out of balance in some area of our lives. I am grateful that my body’s wake-up call wasn’t the equivalent of being hit in the forehead by a 2x4, but it did the job. I took the time to turn within and realistically assess my life, my habits and what contributed to the ailment. I soon realized that my diet wasn’t appropriate for this condition, neither was my cavalier attitude toward exercise, especially in dealing with stress, which if you’re alive you evidently have a lot of. And a great deal of this derived from always taking care of others but neglecting myself.

It also soon became obvious that, like many others, I still held some level of conflicting feelings about loving myself enough to place my needs first and to take responsibility for the care of my body. In realizing this and acting upon it, I recognized the core concept that was missing from my life since childhood: Self Love and Self Care. The difference in the approach – from trying to “force” my body to do what I wanted, to loving and cooperating with it – has made a remarkable difference in my ability to stay committed and disciplined.

It is crystal clear that if we’re not nurturing and loving ourselves with good physical care and looking after our mental, emotional and spiritual aspects, then at some point we will experience an imbalance in our lives. The result is ultimately an illness or disease process, or a residual unhappiness with ourselves, others and our lives – or all the above. Then, not only are we not taking care of ourselves, we aren’t able to care for others, either.

This pattern will continue until we stop and recognize the powerful and subconscious directives that have determined our lives, and replace them with new, positive and life-enhancing thoughts.

The error in our parents’ methodology was that it put the cart before the horse. First and foremost, children must be taught self love and self care, and this must be respected and supported in order to achieve balance of body, mind and spirit – wholeness. As we love and care for our physical vehicles, which allow us life on this planet, we are able to live from the highest and best within us. This enlightened approach creates a wellspring of joy, love and peace within, which honors us – and from which we can more healthfully serve ourselves, others, life and God.

Here are some positive affirmations to use: I love and care for myself. I now willingly release any thoughts, beliefs, fears, needs or life patterns in my subconscious that create imbalance in my body, mind and spirit. I am perfect, whole and complete right now.
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Attaining and Maintaining Inner Peace ... No Matter What Happens

2010-01-31T22:06:00.002-07:00

During this dramatic and emotional time in our country and the world, what we all need is a heaping helping of inner peace. From my experience, the challenge here is two-fold. First we must recognize that it is possible to attain this state even in these difficult times and then that it is imminently worth the time, energy and resolve it takes to get there. I know. It took me many years and many life upheavals, traumas and challenges before I was literally brought to my knees in desperation – with a willingness to do whatever it took to bring some inner calm into my life.

What I had to get past in order to open to this possibility of inner peace may sound familiar to some of you. Like most people I had heard about the peace that passeth understanding all my life. The rub was that I considered it a platitude, a carrot, a myth that was perpetuated by organized religion to keep members hanging in there. Actually, at that time I had never met a church-going person, or anyone else for that matter, who radiated inner peace, knew what it was, or claimed this was something that was attainable or desirable. While this doesn’t say much for my spiritual awareness back then, it’s just where I was.

As it turned out, the only myth I was wrestling with was the fact that inner peace is not and never has been the property of organized religion. What I have learned is that the universal life force-energy, which we call God, did not develop religion – humanity did – and God has no connection with its dogmas, rules and rituals. It was simply man’s positive desire to try to make sense of why he was on Earth and what he was supposed to do.

I find it interesting that Native Americans have been advising us for centuries that we will never find inner peace through overworking ourselves and rushing through life, which is what most of us do because we don’t know any better. The first step in finding inner peace lies in recognizing there is something in us that isn’t satisfied by the greed and $ucce$$-at-any-price culture that exists today. Many of us know this somewhere in our hearts and minds, but we seem to be stuck in the fallacy that tells us that if we can gather enough money and possessions we can make our own security and have peace of mind. That sentence concludes with the unspoken phrase … and the bloody blazes with everyone else.

The problem with thinking we are independent of everyone else is that it isn’t true. We are actually dependent and interdependent on all others. Whether we are aware of this or not, like it or not, we are one with all life on Earth and what benefits one, benefits all, and what harms one harms us all.

We are also one with the eternal and sublime energy that we call God, which is why when we turn within and consistently connect with this awareness we can cultivate an inner peace and calm that nothing can disturb. The Truth is that the Infinite-Life Force-God is always at peace, as there is nothing that can disturb it. And as we strengthen our link with the Infinite, which is the birthright of every human being, we share in that peace.

This process also opens us to the sanctuary of unconditional love that is the heart’s desire of every individual on Earth, as well as the guidance, support, wisdom and, yes, the peace that really does surpass our understanding.

I learned that maintaining inner peace no matter what happens is not easy but it is possible. The key lies in making it a daily habit to connect with our inner selves and to consistently forgive ourselves and others, which releases the past. Then when any untoward event or situation comes up in our lives, we remember that all life is change. Instead of condemning the incident, and as soon after the optional hissy-fit as possible, we then ask what is to be learned from this “challenge.”

As we continue to take this positive approach, eventually we come to a point where we can actually bless the event or situation and recognize it as an opportunity for soul growth. When we can do this, the time frame for learning the lesson is greatly decreased, and the gift in it – which is always to open us to receive more good in life – manifests much more quickly.

By consistently strengthening our connection with the Infinite within us, and letting go of the past by forgiving ourselves and others – we are on the path to lasting inner peace.
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
[For details on how to develop inner peace, go to www.FernStewartWelch.com and click on How-to Lists – “Connect with God.”]

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The Seven Sins of the World That Are Destined to Do Us In ... Unless We Take Action Now!

2010-01-18T00:34:00.007-07:00

Every meaningful and rational conversation I’ve had recently centers on the overwhelming challenges facing our world today. The list is long, but at the top are such issues as terrorism, nuclear proliferation, religious and ethnic conflict, population, as well as the environment and world health. Those are in addition to emerging technologies and economic globalization, and all are linked to creating the greatest changes humanity has ever faced before.

With this astounding future in store, it seems impossible to know where to start or what to do to bring us to a new shared vision for humanity that includes a way to ensure sustainable life on Earth and that embraces goodwill, generosity, decency and order – for all.

As I focused on the mind-boggling global challenges we face, I thought once again of a recent speech made by Arun Gandhi, grandson of the late Mahatma Gandhi. Arun is one of the most respected and influential leaders of the peace movement today. In mentioning his grandfather he repeated a visionary pronouncement made at least a century ago by India’s “Great Soul:” There is a culture of violence permeating our lives, our country and the world.

Mahatma Gandhi then listed the “Seven Sins or Blunders of Our World” that he believed foster violence and that would eventually destroy us. Here they are as originally stated in their cryptic yet powerful form:

Wealth Without Work

Pleasure Without Conscience

Knowledge Without Character
Commerce Without Morality

Science Without Humanity

Worship Without Sacrifice
Politics Without Principle

In order to help myself and others more fully grasp the impact that these social/political conditions have had and continue to have on our world, I have added a brief descriptive comment to each issue.

Wealth Without Work speaks to the concept of getting something for nothing, and has spawned the greed and get-rich-quick schemes that focus on manipulating markets and people and turning a blind eye to natural laws and principles. Pleasure Without Conscience refers to the immature, greedy and selfish acts of those who seek only what pleasures and benefits them. Knowledge Without Character points up that intellectual development without an equally strong, principled character is as dangerous as allowing a child to play with a loaded gun. Commerce Without Morality highlights the fact that there is something covert and condoned in business transactions today that lack any moral or ethical sense of benevolence, fairness or goodwill toward anyone involved. Science Without Humanity concerns the higher purpose of humanity that is meant to be served by technology; not the other way around, which may bring great breakthroughs for science but little advancement for humanity. Worship Without Sacrifice means individuals may take on the surface trappings of a belief system without ever living it fully, which means realizing that we are here to help and serve others. Politics Without Principle means that absent an agreed-upon value system aligned with society’s will and with appropriate principles, the result will be a political system that is devoid of order and rules that will eventually become toxic due to distorted or lost values.

The list confirms what we’ve known for a long time. There is a great lack of ethics, honesty, integrity, morals and principles in our world today. This brings me to my favorite quote by Mahatma Gandhi: We must be the change we seek in the world.

Many of us are aware that collective change in the world will never be possible unless we each follow that dictum in our own lives. We must develop our own code of ethics, live it in our personal lives, role model it for our children and grandchildren and expect it to be mirrored in and reinforced on all levels of socio-economic-political life.

Additionally, we must open to the concept of using the power of our collective thoughts to make our world whole again. It is time to accept that we have everything within us to be co-creators with the eternal and sublime energy that is within us and everything in the universe.

As many of us know, there are millions of people around the world who are already living the concept that we change our lives by changing our thoughts. They are proving that this works and is what the great sages and spiritual leaders have been trying to teach us for many centuries. Consider: It is done unto us as we believe; and As we think, so we are. I find it extremely interesting that this information has surfaced again and is now spreading around the world. It is exactly what humanity needs to prepare for this evolutionary time.

Just because we may not be aware of the negative effect our thoughts have on others or the world around us doesn’t mean the reality doesn’t exist; it does. Every day we unconsciously focus on our anxieties, concerns, fears, needs, losses, pains and problems. If we’re honest, this is pretty much what we unthinkingly project out into the world. This is reflected back to us in our own lives, and we must judge whether what we are attracting into our lives is desirable or undesirable. Our collective thoughts are blatantly obvious as they are mirrored in the critical situations that exist in our nation and the world today.

Now is the time to heed Mahatma Gandhi’s visionary words. It is no coincidence that we came into the Earth at this time to help a world that is in the throes of transformation. For the first time in history, we are conscious enough to realize that humanity is being pushed by extreme circumstances to grow and expand into a new way of being. Forget about being saved by technology or friendly aliens. There is no other way – these are the facts, this is the time – and we are the people.
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

It Takes More than New Year's Resolutions to Change Your Life

2009-12-29T10:18:00.005-07:00

Like millions of others, I made New Year’s resolutions in the past, and then failed to fulfill them. This annual ritual became an exercise in how to beat myself up for my failures.

Then I learned the concept of changing your life by changing your thoughts. I fully understood that if what I was experiencing wasn’t desirable, it was equally possible to follow this concept and create a life of happiness and fulfillment. I made this idea part of my life three decades ago.

It didn’t take me long to realize why we can never be successful by making fervent, but wishful statements about our life challenges. I learned that the problem was in the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold about ourselves, which directly affect such important issues as abundance, health, relationships and success.

I discovered that it was necessary to go within and find out what we really desire in life. I also found that at a deep level most human beings believe they aren’t good enough, deserving or worthy, which effectively blocks their good. To heal those thoughts, say every day as often as possible: I love myself just the way I am, right here, right now. I deserve all the blessings the world has to offer. I am willing to change my negative thoughts and to accept good for myself.

The core beliefs we hold of being unworthy are only thoughts, which create a feeling that binds them to us. If we change the thought, we change that feeling. It doesn’t matter how long we have held negative thoughts or what the thoughts are. We can change the thoughts. Memorize this and say it as often as possible: I love myself, and am willing to change my thoughts. I now allow only positive thoughts about myself.

If we have been hurt in the past, or we hurt someone and are still holding onto the thoughts, we only hurt ourselves. These thoughts have determined the life we have now and will decide the future. We must release these thoughts and be free of the past. The only way to do that is to be willing to forgive not only others but to forgive ourselves. Say this as often as possible and for as long as it takes: I forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to myself, and to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free, they are free.

The key is to love ourselves so that we can open to accepting what is truly desired into our life. By paying close attention to what we think and say, we become aware of the many times we put ourselves down for the simplest and most inconsequential things. This is a negative habit that keeps us stuck in victim-hood, and assures that our life will continue to be less than desirable. Start today, and repeat often: I am wonderful, lovable, deserving and worthy and I love myself just the way I am.

While it may not be possible to say these affirmations and really mean them at first – if you continue you will – and your life will begin to change. And, while the only one we can ever change is ourselves, when we begin to experience positive changes in our lives, it will have an effect on others. Know that whatever our current situation is, we have created it. The good news is that now we can consciously choose the life we desire.

Once we decide what we want, and can love ourselves enough to accept having it, the positive affirmations set a powerful force in motion, and we have only to persevere to be successful. Say every day as often as possible: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am willing to do what it takes to change my thoughts. I give thanks for the good that comes to me now, and affirm that only good goes out from me to the world.

Negative thought patterns often take time to change, so we need to be patient and gentle with ourselves. When we begin to falter or doubt, we must take heart and know that millions of others have taken responsibility for their lives and are proving that when they change their thoughts, their lives change. Say every day: I never give up and I never give in—and victory will be yours.
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Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
[The author is on holiday and this is one of her most requested seasonal essays.]

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The True Path to Happy Holidays Comes From Within

2009-12-13T21:09:00.002-07:00

Several weeks ago at a local church, the minister announced holiday events for those who have no family or who choose not to be with the family they do have during the holidays. While this brought an amused reaction from the congregation, it is common knowledge that in today’s world many people experience sorrow over broken family relationships.

I understand that kind of sadness. I realize that some of the depression during the holiday season is due to the unfulfilled dreams and desires that are often rooted in the mists of childhood. The sadness increases when people think of certain television commercials and movies that present an idyllic view of the perfect family holiday, as well as the imagined “wonderful” holidays everyone else is having.

I once held those images in my mind, but I have learned a lot since I quit buying into the ideal family holiday. Now I know that what is can be enough if you make the most of it.

It isn’t always possible to have close relationships with all your family members. Sometimes it is better to draw close to and bless those relationships we do have. We need to recognize, honor and relish every moment we have to spend with close friends and family.

There are, of course, profound and positive reasons for family gatherings, including savoring the bond represented by extended family, and more importantly allowing children to be embraced in a circle of multigenerational love that provides a strong foundation that will enhance their entire lives. It also gives us an opportunity to learn to honor and accept differences, which is a quality much needed in the world today.

However, while our individual holiday challenges may differ, the emotions they bring may be the same. For me, my adult children and grandchildren are building their own traditions and going their own ways, which is a natural part of the life process. I discovered that dwelling on whom or what I didn’t have in my life during the holidays was a waste of time and life energy. It only results in stress and sadness and detracts from the true meaning of the holidays.

This is a time of year when people aren’t embarrassed to open their hearts and revel in the joy and blessing of sharing with others and truly feeling the joy of being alive. I choose that. I refuse to be cheated out of this goodness by letting any less than positive thoughts rule my consciousness.

What this means is taking control of my thoughts and my life before the holiday season arrives. This year I planned a small gathering early in November to kick off the season. I also bought beautiful poinsettia plants to brighten my home and lift my spirits, and placed electric candles in the upstairs window to broadcast my joy to others.

My holiday calendar [some of which I initiated] also includes intimate time with some family members and longtime friends for lunch, dinner, afternoon tea at a lovely hotel, a holiday-themed concert and theater production, cookie decorating, and holiday movies with my younger grandchildren followed by a trip to the mall to see the seasonal decorations.

What I discovered is that when you choose to do what you truly enjoy, with people who are important and meaningful in your life, the events are guaranteed to fill your arms with hugs and your heart with love.

I don’t believe in allowing the actions or inactions of others to control my happiness. I believe the secret is not to wait for the joy and love to come to us, but to reach out and share our own love and joy—making the world a far better place!
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
[The author is on holiday and this is one of her most requested seasonal essays.]

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The Importance of an Attitude of Gratitude

2009-11-29T23:16:00.003-07:00

As everyone knows, we are facing serious challenges in our country right now, providing us a perfect opportunity to consider utilizing the highest and best information available to protect and maintain our health, prosperity and happiness or, if needed, to increase all three. Taking advantage of this tried and true information will benefit anyone who uses it, and in the process it will help heal America.

This information has been around for eons, and has allowed many individuals to create successful, enriching and happy lives despite external socio-economic conditions.

The primary concept, which I have written about before, is that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives. Millions of people around the world are confirming the truth of this concept daily by living it. They are also attaining and maintaining an Attitude of Gratitude, which is a key component that assures success.

It is helpful to remember that gratitude is simply taking the time to look around us and appreciate what we do have. And not only does the Universe love a grateful heart, it responds affirmatively by sending us more of the good we are already enjoying. In practicing gratitude each day, this places us in alignment with what is Good in the Universe. This is a powerful place from which to act. By placing only positive thoughts and affirmations of our desires into the Universal Law, and maintaining an attitude of gratitude, we receive back what we have placed as our order.

The challenge for some of us lies in the fact that no matter what we have, we often see only lack and scarcity because we don’t have enough, or we fear it won’t be enough in the future, or isn’t everything we want, or what we really want. If we truly want to change our lives for the better, it is vitally important that we start to become consciously aware of the many Good things that actually are in our lives and to start being grateful for them – no matter how small they may seem to be at the time.

One excellent way to do this is to take time each day, either first thing in the morning or at bedtime in the evening, or both, to repeat everything we can think of that we can be grateful for in that day. Just say: I am grateful for ______________, and let your mind and heart fill in the blank. We can also make a written list or start a Gratitude Journal and keep track of everything for which we are grateful. When gratitude is practiced consistently for the good we have in our lives, the loving universe takes that as our order and sends us more of the same.

I start each morning by being grateful for another day of life, for a good night’s sleep, or an unbroken night’s sleep, for a comfortable and warm bed, for my house, my car and for each person, event and experience I will meet this day. I also repeat these affirmations daily: I am grateful for this day, knowing it is the first day of the best years of my life. I am grateful for the continuing Good that comes into my life in expected and unexpected ways.

At night, before I fall asleep, I review the day and while going over it bit by bit, I declare every event Good, every person Good and bless the day. Then I repeat these affirmations: I bless everything that happened today and everyone with whom I came in contact. I am grateful for all the Good I see in my life and for the Good that is yet to be. As I turn over, I always feel complete and clear of the happenings of the day, and just naturally drift into a peaceful sleep.

As we learn to focus on positive thoughts and to live with an attitude of gratitude, this raises our energy vibration, which also elevates the consciousness of humanity. Since our government mirrors our level of awareness, we will also be helping our country return to a state of harmony and balance, and this is another blessed gift for which we can be exceedingly grateful.
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

I Can Hardly Wait to See the Good in This!

2009-11-15T19:57:00.001-07:00

Not unlike others among us, I have reached that point in life where my sometimes cavalier approach to health means my history has become my biology. In other words, the old gray mare ain’t what she used to be, and it’s time to pay the piper. My past transgressions include a tendency toward living to eat instead of eating to live, as well as a lack of appreciation of the importance of exercise in coping with stress. It was also a surprise to learn that I wasn’t breathing properly, which I thought was a natural aptitude.

So here I am, several weeks after an early morning visit to the Emergency Room, hoisted on a petard. As a proponent of balancing the best of holistic and conventional medicine, I find myself with one foot on the conveyer belt of conventional medicine, which is in motion, and the other foot planted firmly on the platform of my belief system.

It wasn’t a comfortable place to be. For a brief moment I wondered if I had the intestinal fortitude to continue taking responsibility for my body and charting a wise if less traveled path regarding my health. I took heart immediately when I thought about my excellent team of learned physicians who honor and embrace complementary medicine, which combines the best of both fields. They believe in looking at an ailing patient as someone who has an imbalance of body, mind and/or spirit, instead of a disease that happens to have a person attached to it.

Basically, I am in good health, and for the past thirty years have chosen holistic modalities whenever possible. I weighed my choices critically: If I chose to adhere to the follow-up directions from the ER, this meant I would get on the train and my ticket would be punched saying I have certain symptoms, which means the only destination is a one-size fits all diagnosis and one-size fits all drugs that often escalate into stronger drugs and more invasive treatments.

My decision was made. The uncharted path I continued to choose meant that I would seek the wise counsel of my former primary care physician, Gladys T. McGarey, M.D., M.D.(H), who at age 89 is now functioning as a life coach. As the acknowledged “Mother of Holistic Medicine in America,” she was able to support my decision and recommend a medical specialist who can lead me in an alternative approach that is congruent with the core of my being, and also honors conventional and complementary medicine.

Once again I felt secure and empowered. I also remembered that the only constant in life is change and that the spiritual journey we are all on – whether we’re aware of it or not – is never about the challenges that come up, but how we face them. I’ve learned that the key is to ask what we are to learn from any situation or condition, then to meet it with all the love and wisdom we can muster. In doing this, we gain additional insights, master another level of how life on Earth really works – and move beyond the situation into a higher energy vibration.

In a recent conversation with a friend about health situations that are part of the human condition, she said her late father taught her that whenever the inevitable physical, mental or emotional upheavals occur in her life, she is to stop, smile broadly and state firmly, and often – I can hardly wait to see the good in this! The smile blesses the situation, instead of condemning it – often our first reaction – and the positive statement sets in motion the expectation of good.

Wise words to live by no matter the situation or the healing path we choose!
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Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The Practiced Ear Hears the Song of God in Nature

2009-11-01T18:13:00.001-07:00

I sense a deep primordial kinship with the fall season. As the Earth’s energy slows down following the boisterous display of summer, I instinctively know it is time to draw within and spend quiet time in contemplation. The need is strong, and the sometimes cloudy, cooler days complement this desire.

Lately, I find myself reflecting on the creativity of nature and the similarity of thoughts and seeds. Whenever I plant a sunflower seed in my small patio garden, I can rest assured that the germinated seed will produce a sunflower. So too will the thoughts I focus on produce their own likeness, and whether they are deemed desirable or undesirable depends on the quality of my thoughts. It is important to choose my thoughts carefully so that what springs forth in my life is as dependable and desirable as what flourishes in my garden.

In joyous anticipation of partnering with nature, I pick up my pruning shears and trowel and head for my small back patio garden to view the results of the Southwest desert’s harsh triple-digit temperatures. Despite appropriate care, some potted flowers have not survived, much like some of my misplaced thoughts and desires. I bless them and with a sigh, scoop them up and recycle them into the earth.

I am heartened though that while some umbrella plants are brown half-way to the base of their sword-like leaves, they are still alive and worthy of continued attention and care. I know that with judicial pruning, some plant food and lower temperatures they will have a rebirth and soon settle in – healthy and strong for the milder winter months.

It is with great pleasure that I notice the gentle breeze that cools my brow and plays a melody on the chimes. I survey the healthy green of the large jasmine bush and the heavenly bamboo that long ago sent their roots deep into the earth. They can easily withstand the summer heat and the cold of winter.

I realize that many of us also seek to anchor our trust and faith into something greater than we are that will sustain us and enable us to not only survive but to thrive despite the traumas, trials and tribulations of life.

For sentimental reasons, I always plant red Emperor tulip bulbs in pots and place them in a box of sawdust in the garage to prepare them for an early blooming period in a process known as “forcing.”

Each time the brilliant red tulips reach full bloom in the still-cold days of winter, I honor the many flowering plants that have “nursed” me through trying times in my life. They serve as gentle reminders to my yearning heart that spring will eventually burst forth once again in all of its full frolicking, rollicking and riotous splendor.

While surveying the ravages of summer on some of the plants, I realized I finally understand my late husband’s seemingly blasé approach to flower and vegetable gardening. As a master gardener as well as a practical person, he would give the seeds and sprouts all the tender loving care necessary for optimal growth and then say, “Shape up or ship out.”

He gave them every chance to survive, but when it became obvious that they weren’t going to make it – into the compost pile they went. I now find this not only a well-reasoned approach to the mysterious vagaries of plant survival, but to the choices we make in life. If our thoughts-decisions bring good results, excellent. If not, we uproot them and choose new ones.

I was initiated into the joys of gardening in childhood by my grandmothers and my favorite uncle, and my lifelong interest was matched by that of my late husband. They taught me that nature is the true language of our being, and that we can learn from it whatever we need to know about life.

The invitation is always there for us to draw near the bosom of nature. If we lean close and listen, we can hear the serenade of God, and know that we are part of Creation and one with all life – dissolving all fears.
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Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Peace Is Not Just the Absence of War

2009-10-18T20:06:00.001-07:00

I recently had a rare opportunity, along with a number of others, to co-sponsor a speaking event featuring Arun Gandhi, grandson of the late Indian spiritual and political leader Mahatma Gandhi, at the New Vision Center in Scottsdale, Arizona.

The Center was jam-packed with people of all ages, and as Arun prepared to speak a hushed silence that spoke volumes descended on the gathering. It was a combination of the audience honoring his grandfather and acknowledging Arun as one of the most respected and influential figures in the international peace movement today. I also believe that we were all grateful, hopeful and relieved that he and others are still actively working on changing the culture of violence in our world.

In his introduction, Arun shared with us his early life in South Africa, where he daily experienced the injustices of apartheid, while his family was dedicated to nonviolent social reform. As a young man who was often beaten up and humiliated, he struggled to understand and embrace his family’s nonviolent response to racism and violence.

The anger this generated in Arun was a signal for his parents to send him to India to spend time with his grandfather, Mahatma Gandhi, during the most critical and tumultuous time in his grandfather’s efforts to free India from British rule.

Despite Mahatma Gandhi’s worldly concerns, India’s “Great Soul” set aside one hour each day for eighteen months for his grandson. During these times, he shared through stories and exercises his teachings on the aspects of nonviolence, truth, anger, humility, discipline, morality and spirituality.

The training Arun received from his grandfather, which he chronicled in his book, “Legacy of Love” would determine his future life as he came to understand and embrace his family’s response to racism and violence. He is a veteran writer-editor and author of eight books, as well as founder of the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence, which is located at Christian Brothers University in Memphis, Tennessee where he is a scholar-in-residence.

Arun held the Scottsdale audience spellbound for two hour as he shared information on a variety of peace-related topics. For example, he followed the profound statement that “Peace is not the absence of war” with a remarkable insight into why most of us think of violence as only physical, therefore missing the awareness that we daily contribute to passive violence.

According to Arun, we do this in many oppressive and disrespectful ways, including gossiping, name calling, teasing and insulting, as well as venting our anger on others. He compared passive violence to gasoline and physical violence to fire, and indicated that passive violence is what fuels physical violence.

He further explained that passive violence generates anger because the victim isn’t aware of how to deal with anger positively, and the only known recourse to the victim is to resort to some form of physical violence.

Arun believes that as a result of society’s pervasive fear of anger, and its subsequent ignorance of how to utilize anger as a practical and constructive force, we are losing a vital opportunity to curb the culture of violence that permeates our world today.

As someone who was slow to learn about conflict resolution and using anger constructively, I agree. Now that I know that anger itself is a natural human emotion, I can use the powerful energy behind it to seek a constructive resolution. While conflict resolution is now being taught in some elementary schools across the nation, what we also urgently need is remedial training in anger management and conflict resolution for every adult in America.

I was also fascinated by this next bit of information: Arun’s parents never punished their children for any breaches of behavior; instead they themselves paid the penance. They believed that their children’s errors in judgment were an indication of their failure as parents in not teaching them the proper behavioral guidelines. Their penance often took the form of fasting and the time frame for going without food depended on the seriousness of the transgression.

I couldn’t help but think about my three adult offspring with children of their own and wonder how they would feel about this concept. I also thought long and hard about the amount of retroactive penance that would be required of me. I realized for certain that I would never have had to think about diets or weight loss ever again and I probably wouldn’t live long enough to complete the penance.

After seriously contemplating that thought, it wasn’t long before I realized that this concept goes hand in hand with modeling nonviolent responses for our children from the time they are born. After all, the punishment concept has not worked at any level of our culture, and it’s time we recognized this and chose a more enlightened way.

Since change of any type takes time and commitment, we need to realize that unless we are willing to change individually, there will never be a collective change. I feel a powerful quote from Arun Gandhi’s grandfather rising up: We have to be the change we wish to see.
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Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available to readers from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

It's Time for Us to Grow Up and Become Mature Adults

2009-10-05T07:49:00.002-07:00

Whenever I asked my late mother how she was feeling, she always replied – even in her ninth decade – that no matter her age, she felt the same inside as she did when she was a teenager. I admit that I also experienced that feeling most of my life, until an incident a few weeks ago.

I was at a large luncheon-book signing for my recently released book, and was photographed, as my mother would say, “Six ways from Sunday.” When I received a full set of the photos for publicity purposes, I had no alternative but to admit, “Well now, I am old.” Since in my family we tend to be totally grey by our forties, I had long since come to peace with my hair color. Also, I had decided years ago that how I lived was more important than resisting the natural aging process. But, I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.

I was surprised by the extra poundage, the double chin and the wrinkles – in addition to the grey hair that now defined me externally. Naturally, I mourned the loss of youth, but I soon realized that I still felt the same way inside, which was a remarkable gift. I also knew immediately that this was a wake-up call.

There were two important messages I gleaned from this situation: First was the reality that life on Earth is not forever, and I had only an uncertain number of years left to complete my life’s purpose, for which I desired optimal health and well-being. This meant finally getting with the program and losing my laxity concerning diet, exercise and nutrition. And second, the sad realization that I had let so much of my precious time on Earth go by before I was motivated to grow up, look at my life and take full responsibility for it.

If you look around, you will notice that being a grownup and taking responsibility for our lives isn’t a well-known or widely practiced concept. This is due pretty much to the fact that we live in a society in which the prevailing thinking is that our needs should be met by others, such as our families, our mates, our doctors, our jobs or the government. The error in that thinking is that in order to buy into it, we must relinquish our power, becoming totally dependent on them or “it” to take care of our needs. This approach is diametrically opposed to growing into a mentally, emotionally and spiritually mature human being.

We are facing a critical point in human history with all the attendant anxiety, fear and uncertainties, and we’d all rather talk about something less foreboding; me too. But it is patently obvious that it is time for us to answer humanity’s evolutionary call to grow up. In order for us to safely and peacefully negotiate this time, we will need far more conscious, aware and mature adults.

How to do that in today’s world seemed a mystery until a number of visionary authors and speakers focused on this theme, and now millions of individuals around the globe have discovered the real and inherently natural way to grow into spiritually mature adults. And it has nothing to do with erasing wrinkles or liver spots. By turning within and connecting with the eternal and sublime energy within us, which we call God, we discover the source of unconditional love, peace, wisdom, guidance and support that is every person’s birthright and heart’s desire.

Once we align ourselves with this energy-wisdom, the natural maturation process is evoked and we are led to become grownup human beings, which has always been the evolutionary plan for humanity. We then automatically seek to create better lives and a better world.

It is up to us. We can be like Scarlett O’Hara and choose to think about all the changes and challenges tomorrow, which means hoping they will go away and we won’t have to think of them at all. Or, we can take the journey within, grow up, and help co-create a glorious future for ourselves, humanity and our planet. Time and tide wait for no man – or woman – whether we’re blessed with the bloom of youth or the symbols of wisdom and experience.
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Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

[The information on how to connect with God can be found in the author’s book “The Heart Knows the Way,” and at www.FernStewartWelch.com.]

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available to readers from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Holding Onto Our Humanity While Evolving Into the Future

2009-09-20T23:24:00.002-07:00

Coping with change and letting go of the past is a great challenge for many of us. Most of us are aware that the natural course of creation-life is always toward growth and change. We also realize that humanity is still on an evolutionary path and we have not reached our final destination. Yet, we tend to conveniently ignore these facts and focus instead on whatever security money and power will buy to try to make our lives stable so that we feel safe.

It has become part of the human condition to yearn for a stability and security that will never be possible on a physical level. We live on a sphere that is hurtling through a space that is filled with mind-boggling mysteries.

This is the reason millions of people have hitched their hopes for the future on scientific advances. With today’s nanotechnology – the science of creating devices from single atoms and molecules – the belief is that eventually these high-tech scientific advances will unlock all the mysteries of the universe, solve all our problems and finally bring us security.

My immediate response is to ask how all the high technology we currently enjoy has helped us in creating a kinder, gentler, more peaceful, abundant and safer world for everyone. The answer is that it hasn’t. I also question the wisdom of trusting the future of humanity to nanotechnology. It seems the more high-tech we become the more we distance ourselves from our connection to nature, the Earth and each other and the more likely we are to lose touch with what truly makes us human.

I recently received an e-mail from a colleague with a list of current and expected nanotech developments that are so incredible that just reading the updated information was a stunning wake-up call. If these scientific advances are in our future, this means that in the coming decades – and definitely before the end of this century – life on Earth will no longer bear the slightest resemblance to that which we know now.

While I feel pride and excitement in the fact that science is resolving some of the mysteries of the universe, my concern is that humanity doesn’t yet have the awareness, integrity, vision or good sense to know how to gauge the long-term repercussions of implementing some of these discoveries. There are many instances that bear this out, but one that comes instantly to mind is this: the harnessing of atomic energy and the current global proliferation of nuclear weapons that could destroy the Earth.

Scientific advances and discoveries continue to outpace the conscious awareness of humanity – think cloning – and at a greatly accelerated rate. I wondered how we and our lagging psychology will ever catch up with this futuristic technology. My gut tells me that it will take something dramatic to awaken us to how fast the world is changing and how reluctant we are to acknowledge and prepare ourselves to cope with these awesome changes.

I believe that “something” is happening right now. We are in the throes of an incredible transformational time on Earth, and I believe we need help to successfully meet the evolutionary changes that are coming. This means, to me, that as human beings we need to make a basic change in our thinking as to how life on Earth really works.

Foremost in this is that we have bought into the popular belief that everything in life happens externally. The truth is that it is exactly the opposite. Life happens from within us out. By buying into the misperception we are left fearful and in a victim role, which makes us feel separate, alone and helpless. The only choice we have as passive victims is in how we react to whatever happens to us in life.

I don’t foresee any time in the future when we will be secure in our physical world because any one of a number of things could alter the Earth’s ability to sustain life. But there is another way to feel secure despite what changes the future may bring. Since I believe the awareness we need is always available to us if we’re willing to open to it, this is where I think we are being led.

By turning within and connecting with the eternal and sublime energy within us, which nanotechnology has irrevocably identified as the “basic building block of the universe,” we can reclaim our power and help co-create the future. The great sages and spiritual teachers have been telling us for many centuries that this is the path to creating better lives and a better world.

It does require that we relinquish the role of victims and accept that we are powerful spiritual beings having a human experience, and are willing to take responsibility for our lives and for the future of our planet. When we can do this, and consciously place ourselves in alignment and cooperation with the highest and best within us, we are part of the whole – all the love, peace, power, wisdom, guidance and support there ever was or ever will be.

Then, as conscious and aware human beings we will be able to help humanity transcend this transformational high-tech time of change in a way that is truly loving and humane. In the process, we can help humanity fulfill its destiny while retaining that which truly is one of the great gifts of being human – our low-tech feelings.
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Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way”are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Serious Illness: When Families Pull Together or Pull Apart

2009-09-07T08:56:00.002-07:00

I had a powerful e-mail response to a recent essay I posted titled “The Key to Living a Better Life and Dying a Better Death.” The woman writing to me described a challenging and “crazy-making” family health situation that any one of us could face in the future or perhaps have already experienced.

I wanted to write about this because having advance awareness of how and why such emotionally charged situations occur may help us avoid being part of the problem, and instead becoming part of the solution. Her account also confirms and underscores the need for and the importance of healing our own issues around illness and death and dying.

What she described was being in the middle of an emotional mine field, with each participant feeding off the others and seeking to vent what seemed like a lifetime of angry, unexpressed emotions. The main characters in the drama were her seriously ill father-in-law, a widower who lived alone and was in denial about his health, and his four adult sons who reside in different states. They had come home with their wives to help their father through yet another in a long list of medical crises.

The situation between the family members deteriorated into a standoff, which means nothing positive could happen. The underlying issues included: the patient’s anger and humiliation over losing control of his life; the brothers’ anger at the patient because he refused to take better care of himself, or go into a facility, and all the stress this had caused the family; concern about what their responsibilities might be in the future, including financial, and who would have to bear the biggest burden; guilt over not having been a “better son”; renewed mourning for their deceased mother, which was mixed with guilt over their negative emotion around their father’s life situation; and, finally, facing their own mortality.

Unbeknownst to all the participants, the emotionalism was exacerbated by two situations: First, everyone concerned was being forced to come face to face with their own issues and fears around illness and death and dying, and second, the individual reactions were indicative of the way in which they normally responded to stressful situations.

This isn’t out of the ordinary. Some individuals facing a loved one’s serious illness, whether or not they have fully resolved their feelings about death and dying can take a calm, rational approach and decide what action to take. Some choose denial so they don’t have to do anything about the problem. Others let it all hang out in a torrent of anger, blame, fear, frustration, sadness and guilt or shame.

This is still part of the painful pulling apart that often comes before the desired pulling together toward helping a loved one get the help s/he needs to heal or to make a peaceful transition.

Take heart, because good does come from this. After releasing a lot of deep-seated and heated emotions, present and past, the brothers finally came together enough to get their resisting and angry parent to the hospital.

As the days progressed, the brothers were still dealing with their own internal issues, but they began to frame their comments to each other in the still edgy, but more acceptable sarcasm-tinged-with-humor they had honed as teenagers. In between chasing down hospital doctors to try to get the facts about their father’s condition, they found time to talk about their current lives, to recall their growing up years, their parents and, in essence, to renew family bonds.

After a week of medical testing and much-needed treatment, it was determined that the patient could be released to his home, if he agreed to be seen on a regular basis by other healthcare specialists.

The pulling apart was over. They were pulling together in a common cause. There was a new level of camaraderie, caring, pride and trust in each other as family members. This change had a positive effect on each brother and even the uncooperative patient, who now showed some interest in taking an active role in looking after his health.

Meanwhile, the wives cleaned their father-in-law’s house and stocked the cupboards and the refrigerator with healthful food. The brothers took turns standing vigil at the hospital and being outspoken advocates for their father. They also organized his business papers and gathered information that would help them help him assure his future care and well-being.

The moral of this story is that no matter what we have to go through to get there – to face and/or rise above our own issues – the goal is to be able to pull together to help a fellow human being through a challenging life passage. When we can do that, then no matter what eventually happens, we can know we did our best and there is nothing more we or anyone else can ask of us. And there’s not a better feeling than that.
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Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The Winds of Change Are No Longer Whispering

2009-08-23T22:48:00.005-07:00

Unless someone has been living in a cave, it is impossible not to know that this is a time of great and powerful transformational change.

Our world is in turmoil, and faces economic, environmental and global challenges. It is also a time when fear is at an all-time high, and honesty, integrity, truth and compassion for others are at an all-time low.

This means it is time for far more conscious and aware human beings to step up and help ensure that the changes we face in our lives occur in a peaceful and orderly manner instead of through destruction, disruption and upheaval.

I believe we have reached the point in the continuing evolution of humanity where we’ve learned enough from suffering and pain, and that we must do whatever it takes to move beyond this stage and grow into more observant and mindful human beings.

What we really need to learn right now is how to take care of ourselves and each other no matter what changes bring, and to choose positive actions that will ensure a better future for us, others and the world.

We can do this by turning within and taking control of our lives, which we positively have the power to do. It is time to remember that each one of us is a spiritual being having a human experience and that we are individual expressions of the universal life force/energy/God – whatever you choose to call it – that permeates us and everything in the cosmos.

The truth is we are being challenged to let go of our present way of life because it isn’t working. Our reality has been focused on the external world and seeking happiness and fulfillment through material success, which leaves us feeling like victims – separate, empty and helpless.

We are being called to turn from our focus on the external, which keeps us shackled in fear, and to open to the higher consciousness-intelligence-love that is within us.

We are either in love or in fear – we can’t be in both at the same time. As we use the power of our minds to keep an open heart, this cancels out fear. Fear blocks action and the ability to reason. When we use the power of our minds to maintain an open heart and to focus on positive feelings such as love, appreciation, compassion and kindness we transform our energy to a higher evolutionary level.

As we do that, we are automatically led to live from higher standards of compassion, honesty, integrity and truth. We are then transformed within ourselves, which strongly impacts those around us and the world.

Each of us has an unspoken need to know there is still good in the world and still individuals who care and perform incredibly selfless heroic deeds that inspire and uplift us and give us hope that nurtures the human spirit.

Here’s one such heroic story that I witnessed firsthand: One of my dear friends, the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the internationally known death and dying icon, died five years ago this month. Elisabeth’s legacy was her incredible capacity for caring, which allowed her to become a global force for change. She almost single-handedly brought death and dying out of the Dark Ages and into the light of reason and compassion, fueled healthcare reform, founded hospice in America and elevated the consciousness of humanity

She was one person. Imagine what we can do to ensure positive change in our lives and in the world by turning within and aligning with the power and loving guidance within us. As we take control and use the power of our minds to move from fear to fearless, we gain freedom and inner security – the only real security there is.
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Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch

[For additional insights, go to http://www.fernstewartwelch.com/, click on How-to Lists at the top, then click on “Connect with God,” to read the article and learn how to connect with your inner guidance.”]

“Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are all available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

New Book Reveals the Controversial and Heroic Woman Who Changed the Way the World Views Death and Dying

2009-08-10T06:56:00.002-07:00

Muhammad Ali described Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – the world-renowned “death and dying lady” – as a champion of life. Dr. Caroline Myss characterized her as one of the most courageous souls of our era. I called her my friend.

Elisabeth was the Swiss-born physician, author and lecturer whose compassionate and heroic efforts against great odds led to health-care reform, patients’ rights, the relief of end-of-life suffering, the proliferation of hospice in the U.S., and humanity’s search for greater awareness of how to deal with long-term illnesses and the death process itself.

In 1999, Elisabeth was named one of the “Greatest Minds” of the century by TIME Magazine, and the New York City Public Library named her seminal book, “On Death and Dying,” one of the greatest literary works of the twenty-first century. She authored more than 20 books that were published in 27 languages, were read by millions, and used in colleges and universities and as required textbooks in medical schools around the world.

Elisabeth sparked world-wide controversy with her groundbreaking approach – putting the rights of patients and their families first – and threatened a medical establishment that was entrenched in the age-old taboos and fears that still surrounded death and dying. Initially dismissed by physicians and the media as “the death and dying lady,” she was attacked both personally and professionally. But she never gave up or gave in, showing a tenacious resolve that did not surprise those who shared her dramatic and revolutionary journey.

At the time of her death, almost five years ago, I was writing a tribute for Elisabeth’s memorial service, and the full concept of a book presented itself to me along with the title, “Tea with Elisabeth.” Elisabeth was fond of the civilized ritual of “taking tea” and it was an essential element of a visit with her. Being an author and writer, I didn’t hesitate to seek out stories from those who knew her, but I also realized I would need the assistance of Ken Ross, Elisabeth’s son, and a mutual friend, Rose Winters. They agreed immediately. It was our goal to present a more complete and human picture of this world icon – the real-life dynamic, fun-loving, vibrant and fully dimensional woman we knew and loved.

“Tea with Elisabeth” features 51 revealing, soul-stirring and sometimes humorous essays from contributors that include Muhammad Ali; Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York; Marianne Williamson; Doreen Virtue; Raymond Moody; J. Donald Schumacher; Bernie Siegel; Stephen Levine; Dame Cicely Saunders and Caroline Myss; as well as family members and friends.

Elisabeth died on August 24, 2004 in Scottsdale, Arizona, where she had lived for the last ten years of her life. She was mourned by the millions of people she touched with her books, lectures and compassionate ministrations, as well as by the multitude of doctors, nurses, aides, caregivers and hospice workers who continue her legacy.

We are overjoyed that our labor of love – “Tea with Elisabeth” – is now available in English at all the traditional online and retail establishments in the U.S. German and Japanese editions are already in print.

Note* For Arizona residents, the three co-authors will be signing books on August 20, 2009, from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m., at Barnes & Noble on 90th St. and Shea Boulevard, in Scottsdale, Arizona.
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Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch

The author is the executive editor and co-author of “Tea with Elisabeth.” This title, as well as “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and ‘The Heart Knows the Way,” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, as well as bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The Key to Living A Better Life and Dying a Better Death

2009-07-26T22:48:00.001-07:00

I have a dear friend whose adult son is facing life threatening health problems. I am deeply touched once again by an all-too familiar scene, in which each family member’s unresolved emotional issues, fears and frustrations have popped up and taken precedence over the opportunity to help their loved one and each other have a loving experience.

As a former hospice volunteer, and someone who assisted two siblings, my parents and my husband on their last life journeys, I have seen this experience from one extreme to the other and pretty much everything in between. Some individuals and families go through such hellish and emotionally painful anger, bitterness, denial, grief, guilt, as well as stress and strain that it overwhelms the process and often negatively taints the rest of their lives. Others somehow manage to have a sublime loving and spiritually enlightened experience for themselves and their loved one.

Since I was ten years old, and my best friend described her grandmother’s death in a way that I had never thought possible, I have sought an answer to how the latter is achieved – as well as an opportunity to live such a blessed experience with a loved one.

When my beloved husband became ill and I realized he was beginning the process that would end in death, something within me knew this was that time. Armed with the support of my dear friend, the international death and dying icon Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and full book-knowledge of her lifework, I set an unwavering intention to help my husband through the death process in a way that was more loving and more spiritually enlightened.

But that was much easier said than accomplished. After many months of frustration and failure that resulted in emotional exhaustion, I reached out to Elisabeth and she encouraged me to turn within to seek inner guidance. She also told me to “Follow your heart, Fern. Your heart knows the way.” In desperation I did turn within, and I was led to a much deeper connection with my inner guidance, God.

I subsequently received the support and guidance I needed to heal some of my own unresolved issues – emotional baggage – as well as the fears I held around death and dying. By following the guidance, I was then able to be fully present for my husband on all levels, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

This transformed my experience from one of intense sadness, frustration, doubt, fear and emotional exhaustion, to one of clarity, confidence, love and peace, which translated to our mutual joy and a deep, satisfying soul connection with my husband that remained constant throughout the process. What we lived was diametrically opposed to what many people experience in facing the death of a loved one. It also changed my life forever.

After my husband’s death, I was guided to allow the full mourning and grieving, as this would preclude any lingering sadness. This was absolutely true, and within the first year I realized that I was left with a great inner peace, a joyous anticipation of the future and a reaffirmation of life.

I shared the lessons I learned and all the events surrounding the lengthy decline and death of my beloved husband in my first book “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within.” Since Elisabeth asked to read the manuscript before it was published, she gave the book her highest commendation and a wonderful endorsement.

I am so grateful to Elisabeth. I know that it was her lifework and support that inspired me to do what my soul knew was possible and to be fully present for my husband in a way that blessed us both and fulfilled my heart’s desire.

The insights I gained taught me that death is not meant to be the most feared life event, which is what tears many families apart when faced with such a situation. It is meant to be a sacred life passage that celebrates the continuity of life. The key to opening to that conscious awareness lies in coming to grips with our own unresolved life issues, as well as our fears surrounding death and dying. Once we clear our own emotional baggage and fears, the gift we receive is multi-faceted. We are then able to be fully present for a loved one when they face debilitating illness or death. We are also free to live a more meaningful and fulfilled life, and thus to die a better death.
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Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch

The author conceived and served as executive editor and co-author of the recently released book “Tea with Elisabeth,” which is a tribute to the incredible life work of the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. This title and Welch’s earlier books are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, as well as through bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

What to Do When the Biggest Block to Our Happiness ... Is Us

2009-07-13T06:49:00.001-07:00

I am a writer – a creative person – by profession and, I freely acknowledge, a highly sensitive person by nature. From what I know, this isn’t an out-of-the ordinary personality combination. What this has meant to me in everyday life is that kind words are like sunshine to a flower. And, conversely, any negative energy directed my way is like a physical blow, which can cause my energy to plummet along with my sense of self.

In the past, when the latter happened, I would dip into a victim mode that was as familiar as an old tape that had been replayed many, many times. My subconscious instantly sent out a message that said: Here it is again! Send her the same emotional responses. It didn’t matter what happened, when conflict arose, the result was the same. The situation automatically triggered all the bad thoughts I’d ever had about myself which confirmed that I was unworthy and unlovable. Then up came the same old feelings that ranged from anger, blame, grief and sadness to a sense of helplessness. The feelings were so powerful at times that it was impossible to focus on anything else.

Thankfully, I’ve learned that the emotional angst and pain we go through at those times is a message from our soul pushing us to learn a more healthful response and to grow through the issue. I also believe that when the same challenges occur repeatedly, we’re being told that this is an important lesson and we will continue attracting similar experiences until we learn the lesson and move beyond it.

As part of my desire to grow through this specific lesson, I adopted a process that has helped many people in similar situations. The key is to have a behavior program in place that supports us on all levels and sets the stage for success every day. The primary step is to start each morning with a 20 minute meditation. This centers us and balances our body, mind and spirit. If meditation isn’t desirable, we simply set our intention, go within, close our eyes and sit in silence. Focusing on a single word such as love, peace, joy, harmony or happiness often helps calm the mind. The important thing is to switch our focus from the external world and to get in touch with our inner selves, which is the starting place for everything that shows up in our lives.

Next, since it is fairly typical in our culture to view our lives as insignificant and our selves as unworthy of good, it is important that we consistently feed into our subconscious positive affirmations/statements that honor and value our worth. Each time we do this, it sets up a desired pattern in our subconscious that supports and increases our life force-energy. Those you write for yourself will be more powerful as they engage your energy, but here are some examples: I am enough. I am worthy. I love myself. I am peace. I am love. I am kindness. I am powerful.

No matter how simple and unimportant our life contributions may seem to us, every single thing we do is part of our sacred and heroic journey to fulfill our life purpose. Whether it is being a loving parent, being kind to others or showing up at a job every day to support our families, it is important and has meaning and worth. We must keep a ready list in our minds of our positive characteristics and traits and recall them often so that we are consistently supporting our core self instead of subconsciously sabotaging our sense of self and blocking our good.

Another good thing to recall often is that one of the rules of living on Earth is learning lessons and growing through life instead of just going through it. We are spiritual beings born into this life to have a human experience. This means we are not only inherently good – we are born with the power to create the lives we desire. What we create in the external world, and whether it is desirable or undesirable, lets us know if our life force is high or low and how successfully we are managing it.

If we continue to become conscious and aware of our life force-energy and to maintain it at a higher level, we find that undesirable situations aren’t popping up as often. When they do come up, we recognize them for the gift they are, another opportunity to grow, which is the only reason we are here. And what an incredible and desirable change – from unconsciously blocking our own happiness to being part of the solution.
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author served as executive editor and co-author of the recently-released book, “Tea with Elisabeth.” Her other books include: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within.” All are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers.

How We Create Lives That Work For Us ... With a Minimum of Angst

2009-06-29T06:24:00.002-07:00

A number of years ago, I attended a board meeting for a national charitable organization, during which we voted unanimously to hold an ambitious first-of-its kind fundraising event. The chairperson then struck the gavel, emphasizing the finality of the decision, and invoked this phrase with great authority – And So It Is! Her knowing smile radiated confidence that the results for the charity would be exactly as planned.

Naturally, I was intrigued by this group’s attitude and confidence, and even more so when a few minor glitches came up along the way and they were welcomed “not as obstacles” but as opportunities to fine tune our mental focus. Not only was our event a success, the net income raised was the highest of any affiliated charity across the nation and would significantly benefit people in need around the world. I didn’t understand then how they managed to achieve such success, but now I do.

Evidently, someone in that organization was familiar with the Law of Attraction, like attracts like, which, thanks to Oprah and others, the whole world is beginning to understand. The Law of Attraction is a mental law and means we attract to us whatever dominates our thoughts. If our thoughts are predominantly positive, this is what manifests in our lives, and obviously the opposite is true. The good news is that when things don’t turn out to our liking, we can change our thoughts and change our lives.

When I recalled the process the board followed, I realized it pretty much mirrored the method millions of us are using in our lives today. We identify our heart’s desire/goal, being sure it takes from and harms no one, which places it in alignment with universal good; do whatever we are led to do in the physical realm to make it happen; monitor our thoughts to keep them positive and focused on the goal; accept that our desire/goal will be fulfilled and release it by using a spiritual phrase such as And So It Is, Amen or Bless It or Block It!

The challenge that I still have at times, and I suspect many others do also, is in rushing through the “identifying our heart’s desire/goal” stage in order to hurry up and get to the “expecting it to manifest part.” This usually means that the desire/goal we do select is superficial and doesn’t resonate within us. We will inevitably lose interest in the desire/goal and forget all about focusing on something that holds no meaning for us. Obviously the undesirable situation will remain unchanged.

When we are faced with any undesirable situation in our lives, it is important to remember that we set it up ourselves to teach us something. The disappointment, hurt and pain we experience at those times is part of the lesson and is meant to get our attention. We will know we are making progress when we can stop resisting the feelings and start asking ourselves the question – What am I to learn from this?

Asking this question places us on the path to learning to know our beliefs, which create our thoughts, and by knowing our thoughts we can change them if they aren’t appropriate. Only then do we have a real chance to create our heart’s desires.

As we come to truly know ourselves – and learn to grow through instead of just going through life – our lives work. We do not have problems in relationships with others, we do not have a poverty consciousness, and we do not set ourselves up to be victims who are abused, dumped on, lied to, rejected or ripped off. We are not bored, depressed, fearful, frustrated, tired of life or unhappy.

The purpose of life is to learn to objectively look at the situations we create for ourselves so that we can change our limiting beliefs/thoughts, and realize that we were born to follow the path of learning and growing. This takes us to a higher level of consciousness and understanding, which has the power to transform our lives and the world. This is how we learn our true heart’s desires, set positive goals and create the joyous and effortless lives we were born to live.
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable

2009-06-15T07:27:00.001-07:00

A couple I have known for a long time, but see only every few years came to town recently and we had dinner together. They described to me a situation with another acquaintance in which they were unable to comfortably differ even slightly with this person because he “is into making a huge emotional deal out of everything and always becomes aggressive and disagreeable.”

I resonated with this all-too-familiar experience and realized that the couple were obviously not skilled in conflict resolution, and therefore tend to avoid conflict of any kind at all costs. I know. I lived that way during my first marriage, which was seriously impacted by a fear of conflict, as was my later corporate career. I remember when as a supervisor, I had to let employees go. Inevitably one of two extremes resulted: If I was too soft and kind, some actually thought they were getting a raise; and if I was matter-of fact and strong, they would become angered and vent their anger at the situation on me.

In reality, I think most of us are in awe of those who can deliver or accept criticism without negative results and who can field negative comments about race, politics or religion with graceful honesty and integrity. As much as we longingly admire those abilities, there are millions of us who don’t possess them but would still like to feel free to say what we really think without the fear of having our faces chewed off. I now believe that people who come on aggressively and disagree by being disagreeable are bullies who also lack skills in conflict resolution and want to assure that others back off in the face of their opinions.

I have learned that the key element in healthfully expressing disagreements is respect. When we respect ourselves first, then we are capable of respecting other people, their opinions and their value as human beings. Unfortunately, we live in an age of disrespect that defines and diminishes our daily lives.

All we have to do to get a taste of this is to read a few of those politically biased e-mails that make the rounds. Occasionally, if I trust the sender, I start to read one and am often so disappointed. Not only does the writer disagree with anyone else’s political views, they question that person’s patriotism, their right to life, pronounce them devoid of any redeeming value, consider them among the ugliest people on Earth and offer sympathy to their spouses for being saddled with them.

This excessive ranting via e-mails says a lot about the lack of respect that is prevalent in our country today. It also points up the barely repressed anger that exists in so many people and is irresponsibly stoked and supported by some talking heads in the media. What this situation tells us is that it is more vital than ever that we learn to manage the normal conflicts that arise in our personal and professional relationships for our own well-being and that of our fellow citizens.

Here are some practical insights I gleaned from surfing the Internet for Web sites that concern conflict resolution. Healthy conflict resolution depends on: Being well aware of our needs and beliefs so that we aren’t overwhelmed in a confrontation; being able to stay calm and control our emotions and our behavior; paying attention to how the other person feels as well as their words and actions, as much is communicated nonverbally; and staying aware of and respectful of differences; and avoiding disrespectful words and actions.

It is also important to recognize and respond to what is important, and to use humor and playfulness when it isn’t. We need to maintain a willingness to forgive and forget; seek compromises and avoid punishment; and know that conflict resolution supports the best interest of all and strengthens any relationship. When resolution fails, agree to disagree and move on – allow the other person to be the other person and not a reflection of yourself.

Our lives are defined by a fast-paced, high-powered and high-tech culture that is changing fast and filled with great uncertainties. The stress that results makes it challenging to maintain relationships with colleagues, family members and friends. To do more than survive, we will need a generation of people who can resolve conflict by disagreeing without being disagreeable and get on with much-needed problem solving.
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

There's No Such Thing as Failure!

2009-05-31T22:30:00.003-07:00

I received a number of e-mails commenting on a prior essay titled “Today Is the First Day of the Best Years of Your Life!” Each one said in so many words that s/he loved knowing there is no such thing as “failure.” That point didn’t occur to me when I was writing the piece because it wasn’t my focus, but my discerning readers are absolutely correct.

Here is the paragraph that gave them that insight and was the inspiration for this essay: The truth is that we are always successful. No matter what we are experiencing right now, we created it. If it’s really bad, and our life is filled with negativity and lack, just think how really skilled we are at creating such undesirable stuff. The good news is that we have the power and the ability right now to turn that around and start creating the lives we truly desire.

That is true! If our current life resembles a series of unfortunate events, it is time to embrace the fact that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives. Actually the thought of how successful we are at creating a miserable life can stand us in good stead. We can use it as a benchmark. Our ability to create a life we didn’t desire is exactly the same ability we will use to consciously create a much better life. The choice is really a no-brainer, but the how-to requires a little effort.

First of all, the desire for change has to be real, strong and deep. The “undesirable stuff” must no longer be desirable in any way, shape or form. Negative thoughts can create deep grooves in our subconscious and some have been around a long time. These long-forgotten negative thoughts determine our lives. We must work at releasing these hidden thoughts and beliefs, which have become powerful, and continue until they no longer take priority over our current positive desires.

When we are really ready for true change, the core of our being will resonate with this desire and actually work with us to bring about the change. This is soul work.

It is also a fact that at the deepest part of us, many people don’t think they deserve good. So it is vital to do some forgiveness work for ourselves and others. Here’s a tried and true technique that works and should be repeated daily as often as possible and with resolve: I freely and wholly forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong I have done to me, or to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free, they are free!

It is also necessary to find out what we really do desire in our lives. We have been thinking negatively for a long time, and it will take some inner thought and reflection to dig down deep and find out what it is we truly desire.

To do that, take a piece of paper and designate two columns at the top, one titled: What I Want in My Life and the other What I Don’t Want in My Life. We work with these until we move past any pie-in-the-sky syndrome [like being the first person to live on the moon] and start connecting with our true inner selves. Once we identify what we truly want and it does not take from anyone or harm anyone else, we are ready for the next step, which is clearing out invalid thoughts, beliefs and life patterns.

Here are three wonderful statements to repeat with great resolve as often as possible: I now willingly release any belief, need or pattern in my subconscious that creates resistance to my good on any level. I now willingly release any belief, need or pattern in my subconscious that holds onto the past. I now willingly release any belief, need or pattern in my subconscious that creates an imbalance in my physical body.

Only after all of that is it time to place into our subconscious mind the desires that resonate within our hearts and minds and to repeat them until they manifest in our life experience. Write out your own, as your words will be more meaningful to you, but here are some examples. Please note that they focus on the now rather than in the future, which always places them out of reach: I now accept good into my life. I now accept love, health, prosperity, wisdom, peace, joy and harmony in my life. I now accept the_______ into my life that I have always desired. And So It Is!

There truly is no such thing as failure! We always succeed. Whether what we create in our lives is desired or undesirable depends entirely on the choices we make each day. It is up to us!
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Why Our Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys

2009-05-18T06:36:00.001-07:00

My teenage grandson’s birthday is fast approaching, and while I have some gifts for him, I find myself wanting to share so much more than material items wrapped in colorful paper. He is a fine young man, yet I know he will be tested many times before his brain fully matures – which scientists now say doesn’t happen until age twenty-five. This is why it is vitally important that he have a solid base of ethics, morals and values that will guide him safely and successfully throughout his life.

He has a good sense of what is right and wrong, but I am acutely aware that our collective senses have been numbed by a culture that has gone off track and created an atmosphere that challenges the successful survival of America’s young people.

Many of us know that the only path to inner peace, success and true and lasting happiness comes from having conscious values that we cling to as if our lives depend upon it; which if we desire good, honorable and successful lives, they do.

People my age grew up knowing what was right and what was wrong: It was black and white and obvious. The values we learned were backed up at school, among our peers, in our communities, churches and also in a very unlikely, but very effective venue – the local movie theater via the Saturday matinees for youngsters.

Cowboy movies reached their peak of popularity in the decades between the 1940s and the 1960s. There were dozens of actors who became famous starring in what became known as “oaters.” Each movie had a plot that was simple and basic, and the good guys always wore white hats and always triumphed.

I remember Gene Autry, Roy Rogers and the Lone Ranger, so just for fun I Googled “Cowboy Code of Ethics.” Much to my surprise, there was a Web site with formal Codes of Honor for some of these cowboy stars. Basically, the Codes cover what we were taught as children: “Don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t steal and don’t be lazy,” with emphasis on such virtues as being kind and gentle to children, the elderly and animals; respect for women, parents and our country’s laws; and to never take unfair advantage of anyone.

Obviously, the reason cowboys have been our heroes for so long is because they embody the basic values we cherish and wish were still prevalent in our nation today. It is no surprise that two of our most beloved movie stars, John Wayne and Clint Eastwood, gained fame as clean-living, straight-talking cowboys who stood for truth, justice and the American way.

This is the foundation we desire for all of America’s youth, as this will enable them to think for themselves and give them the courage to withstand the toxic messages and temptations of our current culture. We just need to make sure they are exposed to these values at home and supported in as many areas of their lives as possible.

Fortunately there are still wonderful books and stories for youngsters to read, as well as movies that embrace the same virtues and values as the cowboys of yesteryear. The challenge is that some of the characters’ names are foreign to us, and we don’t have a clue as to the values they represent.

When I mentioned a few unfamiliar names to my grandson, he assured me that although there’s not a cowboy among them; Gandalf, Frodo, Luke Skywalker, Yoda and Han Solo champion the same heroic values.
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Nature: A Remedy for What Ails Us

2009-05-04T07:54:00.001-07:00

The serious challenges facing us and our country now make this the perfect time to take a break from the crazy-making reality of the external world. It appears as if we have fallen down the rabbit hole and nothing seems to be as it should. We desperately need to seek healthy, sane and wise answers that will help us calmly negotiate the rocky road ahead, and which will ultimately help heal our country and the world.

But the truth is that these answers will never come from the chaos and fear that surround us. They will come only from within us by listening to our own inner guidance, the true compass for meaningful and successful lives.

While there are many ways in which we can connect with our inner knowing, spending time in nature is the easiest and most accessible path for many people. Here we find a nurturing space that holds the antidote that can counteract the poison of today’s world of double standards and double-dealing. Nature is, above all else, incapable of deceit, dishonesty or hypocrisy.

In nature’s sincere, pure simplicity lies the opportunity to reconnect with the true values in life: honesty, integrity, love and kindness and caring for others and the Earth.

Some of the older generation can remember when their parents, grandparents and great grandparents were in such close communion with nature that they could “read” the signals in the skies and predict the weather and the ebb and flow of seasonal changes. We need to return to that primordial respect and reverence for nature.

When we lost this closeness, we also lost our innate awareness of how we fit into the natural order of life on Earth. We feel this loss of connection as a fear, and desperately seek to cover it up by continually focusing on the busyness of the external world. Yet no matter how hard we push ourselves or what ridiculous levels of activity we aspire to and attain, the feeling of being alone and disconnected never goes away.

As we spend time in nature, however, we feel our wholeness in the well-ordered cycles, and sense our oneness with life throughout the cosmos. We also experience inner peace because Mother Nature does not judge us, and this helps us renew our trust in life.

Our distant ancestors knew of the healing power in nature. They would often take those who were ill or emotionally distraught into the forests so that the powerful energy in the trees would soak up any confused energy, which calmed them and hastened their healing. This gives new meaning to free-standing urgent care centers.

As nature is the true language of our being it speaks to us at a soul level through beauty and the intelligent order of the universe. It reminds us that we are one with all life and a vital part of the whole. Reawakening to these truths is the true path to inner peace and the remedy for what ails us, society and our planet.
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Today Is the First Day of the Best Years of Your Life

2009-04-20T06:13:00.001-07:00

This twist on a well-known expression wafted into my consciousness about nine months ago and has taken up permanent residence: Today Is the First Day of the Best Years of Your Life! The fact that the emphasis was on the word “your” is probably why the statement caught my attention as it didn’t seem to come from me as much as being directed to me.

As the months passed, and I began using the declarative “promise” as a daily affirmation, I realized that no phrase could have captured more perfectly my desire for a continuing joyous anticipation of the future. These words never failed to fill my heart with joy and my mind with a child-like expectation of good. The knowing that they could be self-fulfilling made me smile, as they ignited my imagination. While a child’s idea of a special gift usually conjures up thoughts of material things, hard-won wisdom has taught me to value that which is loving, kind, meaningful and soul-worthy. I was hooked.

Recently I have been moved to share this positive statement with some friends who are going through dire circumstances. One individual, the father of five, had just lost his job; a woman was diagnosed with cancer; and another woman who had nursed her husband until his death now faced the sad prospect of going through the rest of her life alone.

With no conscious forethought, I just softly dropped this seed into our conversations: Today Is the First Day of the Best Years of Your Life. It took a few minutes for it to sink in, but their energy shifted and a subtle change was evident in each person. I believe this positive declaration holds something wonderful for all of us if we are open to the possibilities inherent within the fullness of its meaning. Of course the choices we make each day will determine whether the seed takes root and grows into the full reality of the promise.

I realize that no matter how difficult our life circumstances may seem the truth is that the point of power is within us to make a choice at any time to change our thoughts and to change our lives. It is true that as we think, so we are, and it is done unto us as we believe.

I know this is true because in the past I didn’t know that I had any control over my life or my thoughts, so I was stuck in the victim role. This continued for several decades until I embraced the philosophy that what we think and feel today determines our tomorrows. That is the solution, the remedy: Pure and simple.

The truth is that we are always successful. No matter what we are experiencing right now, we created it. If it’s really bad, and our life is filled with negativity and lack, just think how really skilled we are at creating such undesirable stuff. The good news is that we have the power and the ability right now to turn that around and start creating the lives we truly desire.

Today Is the First Day of the Best Years of Your Life. Live it and pass it on!
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Flowers Speak the Language of Love

2009-04-05T23:59:00.002-07:00

In the desert city where I live, flowers have been bursting forth in all their multihued glory for several months. As usual, I prepared for this and for the even greater extravagant display of summer by doing the necessary work in my small patio garden. Once again I am feeling the joy of being in harmony with the cycles of nature.

When I was a child, there were so many farms and so many people involved in agriculture that many of us had relatives who were dependent on Mother Nature for their livelihood. Today the majority of people are urban dwellers, and I realize that life is so fast-paced in our global culture that nature is becoming less and less important in our lives. The great sadness is that when we forget our natural connection with the Earth, we miss out on a vital part of what makes us human.

I still believe that no matter how removed we are from the soil, something within us responds automatically when we sense the changing of seasons. In the spring, it may be noticing the first flowers bursting forth – or it may simply be an inner knowing that once again something mystical and magical and beyond our ken is happening deep within the Earth. Yet in that fleeting moment, we are reconnected to the Earth and grounded in the truth that we are one with everyone and everything on this planet.

Each time I begin the prescribed gardening chores, the welcome ritual is enough to bring forth a rush of cherished memories. I realize that nature and specifically flowers have always been a special part of my life.

I remember once again the rainbow-like Japanese flower gardens that stretched as far as a child’s eyes could see. My family drove to the outskirts of our city often to share this stunning vista with visiting relatives and to buy huge bouquets of delicate sweet peas and stately stock that had such a strong aroma I had to hold my head out the car window for relief.

When I was in my early teens, an entire hillside around a lovely mansion was seeded with African daisies every year. As they reached full bloom, the wide swath of color was not only a beautiful sight; it also heralded summer – which was enough to set our imaginations on fire with expectations of adventures to be savored.

As I grew up, there were always flowers to mark special occasions, like my first corsage for a school dance, then proms, birthdays and a wedding, followed by anniversary bouquets. I also vividly remember that when my son and daughters were small they would pick anything that resembled a flower and present it to me with bright shining faces and open hearts.

When my first marriage was breaking up, flowers helped me get through that sad period. I lived in the Pacific Northwest at that time. While it was still snowy and cold outside, I planted some Red Emperor tulip bulbs in pots, put them in a large cardboard box, covered them with straw and placed them in a dark corner of the garage.

Weeks later, when the first pale little shoots began to push through the straw, I took the pots out, gave them a little water and placed them on the covered back patio on the west side of the house. As the stalks shot up to about eight inches, I noticed that in seeking to follow the light, they would start to grow in that direction instead of straight up. This meant that each day I had to remember to rotate the pots a number of times so that the tulips would grow straight. I approached this duty seriously and with great caring, as it was a blessed respite from thinking of other things.

Later, when the tulips began to open, it was such a boost to my sagging spirits that I cried. Not only did I have unseasonably early tulips, but in contrast to the dreary, rainy days, their magnificent red color reminded me that the cycle of life – birth, death and change – continue to go on in a wonderful and ordered way and we can depend on it. The stalks were also ram-rod straight and strong. I spent many a healing hour with a steaming mug of tea in hand contemplating the sheer beauty and perfection of God in nature.

Several years later when I was taking a divorce recovery class, we were asked to write out our desires for our future life. Since one of my lifelong wishes was to have fresh floral bouquets all through my house, I wrote that I wanted a life filled with love, light and flowers.

Over time I did heal and find real love and lasting happiness. I believe it was divine synchronicity that my second husband also loved music, nature, gardening and flowers.

He is no longer here, but when I am seated in the patio swing sipping a cup of Earl Grey, I remember the love we shared for each other, music and nature. I sense his presence in the warm breeze that plays a melody on the wind chimes, in the flowers, and in the butterflies, hummingbirds, quail and rabbits that frequent the garden – all evidence of God’s love made visible.

Someone once said that to those who love, unrelenting time grants a thousand summers. I would humbly add, and a thousand flowers blooming in their hearts.
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Now's the Time to Ask the Big Question: Are You Being You?

2009-03-23T00:22:00.003-07:00

I recently read an intriguing book called “Let Your Life Speak,” by Parker J. Palmer, in which he relates a Hasidic tale with a profound message: “Rabbi Zusya, when he was an old man, said: ‘In the coming world, they will not ask me: Why were you not Moses? They will ask me: Why were you not Zusya?’”

This caused me to reflect on several things. First it seems to be part of the human condition to try to hide our real selves and pretend to be something we’re not. And second, the truth is that for much of my life I tried to cobble together who I was by taking my cue from whatever I was doing in the external world. It was only in the past several decades, that I slowed down enough to begin asking the universal questions: Who am I, why am I here on Earth and what is my life’s purpose?

I recalled that even as a young girl of 10, I knew intuitively that there was something within me striving to express, I just couldn’t connect with whatever it was. It would take many more years before I became aware of the life I was born to experience and then to free myself from invalid beliefs and to start living it. As it was, I lived in survival mode a lot of the time and in what I now call living by default instead of by design. This meant that my only choice involved how to respond to whatever happened to me.

Through a great deal of contemplation and introspection, I finally learned that the eternal and sublime energy that is within everyone and everything, which I call God, is also in me. And like a wave is part of the ocean but not all of it, I possess the same characteristics and sublime qualities. When I accepted that I was an individualized expression of this energy-intelligence-love-God, I began to grasp the truth of myself and started focusing on creating good in my life.

As a natural part of choosing to open to this fuller concept of life, I soon realized that the reason I am here on Earth is to open to growing through life and learning the lessons instead of just going through it. In this way, I can learn to express life as the one and only real me, which results in joy and happiness for me and makes the world a better place by my having been born.

The big challenge for me was in finding my life’s unique purpose, and I was in angst over this quest for many years. During this time, I also realized that this is the question that undoes so many people. I believe that much of the great unhappiness in the world, the depression, the abuse of drugs and generalized soul-sickness is directly linked to not seeking, not finding and not understanding our reason for being.

I sought my life purpose in the business world and discovered it wasn’t there. Immediately after the short-lived “high” I would get from earning more money or receiving an award, the deep longing within me would always return. I bless those experiences now, for they were what keep me seeking. I also learned that I am a highly sensitive person, and that while I had the intellectual capacity to continue pursuing success in the corporate sector, I often found myself in situations that emotionally and spiritually were not compatible with my soul.

It was during my beloved husband’s lengthy decline that I decided to withdraw from the external world to seek a more loving and enlightened way in which to assist him on his last life journey. In the desperation of the situation, I turned within to the innermost core of my being seeking help and guidance, and discovered the sanctuary of love, peace and wisdom that is the heart’s desire of every human being. My life has not been the same since.

In all the positions I have held in the media or the business world, it was primarily my writing ability that allowed me to be successful. But it wasn’t until my husband was dying that the creative energy came through me with a force that I had never known before – and with a purpose that could not be denied. The result was a book chronicling our experience. After that, the concept for another book came to me in meditation and the passion to do it was equally powerful. And the pattern continues.

How interesting that I have known since childhood that I was a writer, yet I had never embraced it as truth. I kept seeking outside of me for who I was to be.

I learned that our true calling – who we are, why we are here and our life purpose – is revealed to us from within, and doesn’t come to us from out there – the external world. And we certainly don’t have to live our lives reacting to and accepting others’ expectations of us. When we can stop trying to be someone else, we can start living the wonderful lives that I believe we were born to live, instead of the poor imitations we create for ourselves.

“To be nobody-but-yourself – in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” –e.e. cummings
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Hard Times Are the Signal to Get Back to Basics

2009-03-08T22:55:00.007-07:00

With our recent economic crises, I am sure that with few exceptions people all across America – and around the world – are left wondering how this happened to a country that was perceived as the richest, strongest and most powerful in the world.

Well, the truth is that our country bought a one-way ticket to disaster when it lost sight of ethics, morals and values and committed to an all-out pursuit of materialism and power. This antiquated approach has been the pattern for many centuries, but it is glaringly inappropriate and unsustainable in the new millennium.

The simple fact is that the conscious awareness of humanity is at the highest point in the history of the world. The wrong road our country was pursuing actually started becoming apparent to countless millions of Americans in the failed war in Viet Nam. Now we have the irreconcilable conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan and two other potential prospects in the offing – Iran and Pakistan. The other shoe dropped with the collapse of the real estate and stock markets, as well the banking and insurance industries.

In the pursuit of power and materialism, our government made choices that were not ethically sound and therefore were not supportive of human values or of a healthy society. Is there anyone around who doesn’t know that the prevailing attitude at all levels in our country has been one of greed, self-interest and dishonesty? Looking out for numero uno became the mantra of this and preceding generations. That attitude fostered the belief that there wasn’t enough of anything for everyone so it was acceptable for individuals to grab whatever they could by any means imaginable and let the rest of us be damned.

As citizens, we were so deeply immersed in our country’s pursuit of money and power that we either bought into it or were complicit in accepting the situation because none of us knew how to stop a runaway train on a slippery slope.

Since this crisis is enormous, many of us are going to pay a high price for the results of our government and institutions straying from the straight and narrow path. Yet inherent in this situation may be the biggest blessing we could ever have imagined. If we take the time to look at the primary cause of the economic crisis in our country – which is an incredible turning away from basic ethics, values and morals – this opens an incredible opportunity to return to the principles that made our nation’s rise to greatness possible in the first place.

More and more people are aware that we do live in an abundant universe that is based on fundamental principles such as the Law of Attraction, which means like attracts like. We draw to us what we think and live and are responsible for what comes into our lives, individually and nationally. When any one of us lies, cheats or steals or allows or condones such actions, it takes away from the good of all. We are all in this together.

We must demand that our government and institutions return to a transparent system that is sensitive to the bottom line, and yet is balanced with humane ethics and values. This must also include an appropriate reverence for planet Earth and a commonsense approach to environmental issues, which got lost in the money-power equation.

I believe this crisis is a wake-up call to remind us that love and kindness, honesty and integrity and looking out for each other are the key values in life. If we individually choose to live from the highest and best within us, we can help each other and our ship of state stay afloat and on course. Only in this way can we assure the future of our children and grandchildren and this awesome planet.

[Scroll down to read - 10 Ways to Help Us Get Through Hard Times.]
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The authors books: "You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World" and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

10 Ways to Help Get Us Through Hard Times

Cut back on spending, increase our savings and live below our means instead of beyond them. This helps us and also demonstrates sensitivity to the millions of our fellow Americans who have lost their jobs, homes and insurance.

Learn about the resources that are available to help needy families through hard times so that you can be proactive. Have it ready when someone you meet or know is in need of connecting with these services. [Be part of the healing of our country.]

Curb the temptation to indulge in conspicuous consumption and to flaunt an ostentatious lifestyle. Donate that discretionary income to community organizations to help our fellow citizens.

Give more generously to all the charities of our choice and continue an American tradition of doing good to help others.

Remain positive, which is always an excellent way to ensure better results in every area of our lives and to help calm everyone around us.

Remember to maintain an attitude of gratitude. This boosts our self esteem and raises our energy vibration, which lifts our spirits and those of everyone who comes in contact with us.

Take good care of our health. It is vitally important during hard times to maintain a positive attitude and to manage stress.

Support our inner peace by saying as often as possible: I choose Good this day for me, my loved ones and all others. And So It Is!

Fight fear by repeating over and over: All is well! Something wonderful is happening in my life right now. I sense it. I feel it. I know it. And So It Is!

And then we anchor in our good by repeating the following: In living the key values in life – honesty, integrity and loving and caring for others – I hasten our nation’s return to balance on all levels, peacefully, joyously and harmoniously with Good-God for all concerned. And So It Is!

What We Must Do to Help Fix Our Country

2009-02-23T06:41:00.001-07:00

Each time our new president comments on any aspect of the sobering economic perils we are facing in our country, he also clearly and firmly reminds us that we need to step up and take responsibility for our role in this situation. After his first few weeks in office, the reason for that is obvious. The road ahead isn’t going to be easy for him or for us. If we want to keep America’s hopes and dreams alive for a positive change, it will take a conscious and consistent effort by every one of us. This is the only way it will happen.

The first thing we must do as citizens is stop, take a breath and accept responsibility for our vital part in this historic time. When we consciously choose to move past any anxiety and fear, we can proactively face the challenges. Confidence is contagious. In aligning with the truth of us, instead of giving into fear, we know we have the innate ability to cope with whatever happens.

In order to do this, we must metaphorically take our minds out to the woodshed and do whatever it takes to release blame and recriminations and accept what is. Then we can focus on the desired outcome, which includes facing whatever is before us with a positive attitude to help our country successfully negotiate this time of crisis.

If we constantly focus on worst-case scenarios, and we spew out these thoughts to anyone who will listen, we will attract more of the same negative and undesirable results into our own lives. We will also be spreading negative energy, which is the opposite of what is needed to help our country remain stable during these trying times.

Since I know that it is done unto us as we believe, I much prefer, along with millions of others, the precept that by changing our negative thoughts we can change our lives in positive ways. Collectively, if we as a nation choose to focus only on thoughts that are positive and uplifting for us and our country, it will hasten the healing of our economy.

Second, in acknowledging the reality of this financial crisis, we need to realize that even young children hear the news and know when family members are having a bad time. We need to talk this out with our families and agree on what each can do to reinforce the family unit by working together to keep expenses down, conserve energy, and in general be good citizens. For younger children, it could be reminding others to turn off the lights in rooms that aren’t in use, or helping to tend a vegetable garden and sharing the harvest with neighbors.

If we role model an authentic confident, can-do attitude for our children and grandchildren, this will serve them well throughout their lives, no matter what their future brings.

According to the advice of Suze Orman, the reigning popular guru of money matters and a consummate money saver, we also need to put money into an emergency fund, and start asking ourselves before every purchase whether we really need the item or just want it. I agree. She also suggests getting out of credit card debt by transferring high-interest credit cards to low-interest cards, and paying as much as we can each month until the balance is cleared.

Next, if we’re already stressed over finances, we need to get help quickly before we become so overwhelmed that we feel helpless and hopeless and the stress begins to take a toll on our families, as well as on our physical bodies. The experts say this is never a hopeless situation just a lack of information. Turn to a friend, family member, doctor, minister or debt counselor and don’t stop until you learn the necessary financial skills, have a positive attitude and a set goal.

If we know someone who is experiencing a stressful situation, such as going from a two-income to a one-income or a no-income family, it is important that we support them in finding help. By looking after our fellow Americans, we help bring positive energy into the situation, which also helps steady our country during this transformational time.

It is also important to know that the symptoms of chronic and extreme stress can be dangerous if left untreated. A physician friend told me years ago that when our minds are overwhelmed and we are stressed, we need to move our bodies. It doesn’t cost anything to go for a walk, run or ride a bicycle or to meditate, and they are all immensely helpful in coping with stress. It is also wise to stay in close touch with family and friends as we all need a strong social support system to maintain our mental, emotional and physical well-being.

Most of us have heard the expression: United we stand; divided we fall. It was never more fitting than right now. No matter our political preference, we are all in this together. As citizens who know how blessed we are to be living in this country, it is a privilege to tighten our belts and make any sacrifice necessary to help America in this time of crisis. This is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and the world.

The stakes are extremely high and President Obama can’t do it alone. He needs all the help he can get. If we want this situation to have a positive outcome, the choice is obvious: Either we are part of the solution, or we’re part of the problem.
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!

2009-02-09T08:07:00.002-07:00

This is the title of my recently released book, which I believe holds insights that will be helpful to many people during these challenging times. Some of you receiving this announcement are among the thousands of individuals who have read my weekly essays over the past two years at www.InsightsOut.blogspot.com. Your responses confirmed my conviction that people are hungry for positive, helpful and hopeful information concerning issues that we face every day.

This is why I decided to publish a collection of 66 selected essays to expand the outreach and help as many people as possible. I thought you would be interested in seeing the PRWeb media release, which goes online today, and in reading just a few of the reviews that readers have graciously provided to accompany the media promotion.

“You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” is now available at Amazon.com, as well as other online booksellers and through major bookstores. If you desire to purchase the book, that is great, simply click on the live link to my book site at www.amazon.com. If after reading the book, you would like to post your own review of the book that would be wonderful. If it feels more comfortable for you to support me by simply sending love and blessings, that is also great. I appreciate you!
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Fern Stewart Welch’s New Book Highlights Path to Living A Balanced Life

In a world that is changing fast and filled with uncertainties – Fern Stewart Welch’s new book is a self-help manual for creating a stable, happy and meaningful life no matter what the future holds.

Scottsdale, Arizona [PRWeb] … February 9, 2009 … Author Fern Stewart Welch’s latest book, “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. In this increasingly unbalanced and disconnected world, Fern shares insights and practical guidance in a handbook that will assist experienced seekers as well as novices learn to love healthfully, fulfill their potential and create rich, rewarding and purposeful lives.

For nearly two years, Fern has posted a weekly blog essay at www.InsightsOut.blogspot.com and notes, "The many viewers who discovered the site confirmed my belief that people are hungry for positive, helpful and hopeful information concerning their daily lives, as well as global issues dealing with the future of life on Earth."

Fern decided to publish a selection of the essays to reach out to as many people as possible during this challenging time. This how-to handbook, “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” is a collection of 66 finely crafted and easy-to-read essays on basic issues that confront every single one of us every day of our lives, including health, prosperity and relationships.

The essays include: How to Live a Rich, Rewarding, Joyful, Purposeful Life; Achieving Inner Happiness is Life’s Highest Gift; Creating a New Road Map to Health; The Importance of Keeping a “Soft” Heart; Living Simply and Treading Lightly on the Earth; and An Ode to a Tomato: What Nature Can Teach Us.

Irene Hunter, the author of “The Miracle of Being the Real You,” says “This book reveals the simplicity of taking control of who you are and moving from victimhood to victorious. It’s about accepting the gift of life and through our choice of words and thoughts changing the negative to the positive, the problem to the answer and the darkness to light.”

According to Fern, a veteran writer whose career spans 40 years, she discovered her true “writing voice” through the spiritual experiences she had while assisting her husband through his lengthy decline and subsequent death in 2002.

Since that time, her single life passion has been to write about what she has learned from a lifetime of lessons to help others create better lives for themselves and their loved ones.

Currently Fern is a contributing editor for One Planet Magazine, posts blog essays at www.InsightsOut.blogspot.com and is nearing completion of her next book. She was formerly the editorial director of PHOENIX Magazine, and a freelance international travel correspondent for The Los Angeles Times.

“You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” published by InsightsOut Books, is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers and major bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
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What people are saying about “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!”

“This book reveals the simplicity of taking charge of who you are and moving from victimhood to victorious. It is about accepting the gift of life and through our choice of words and thoughts, changing the negative to the positive, the problem to the answer and the darkness to the light. Fern Stewart Welch takes us through life conditions and situations from birth to death. She helps us master our reality now, this very moment. I love this book.” –Irene Hunter, author of "The Miracle of Being the Real You" and teacher of The Real You Seminars

“In Fern Stewart Welch's insightful new book, she takes slices of everyday life, ponders deeply, and then shares her revelations. She encourages us to choose to see that the happiness we all seek already exists, when we look for it. This is one of those books to randomly open and let the message of the day reveal itself, or to choose a subject, read the author’s thoughts and allow her to inspire new insights in us.” –Rev. Merilyn Chilleen

“In this excellent new book from Fern Stewart Welch, you will learn powerful, practical and sound advice for coping with, and growing through basic life issues. She inspires us to start our own spiritual journey within, where we find the sanctuary of unconditional love and acceptance, joy, peace and wholeness for which every human heart yearns.” –Karen Russo, award-winning author, “The Money Keys: Unlocking Peace, Freedom and Real Financial Power.” www.TheMoneyKeys.com

“Fern expertly crafts a work of substance and heart to lift our spirits, steady our feet and guide us safely back to center. “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” is a wonderful guide for anyone who is seeking a path to happiness and balance. The wisdom she shares is pure and resolute.” –Laura Alden Kamm, author of “Intuitive Wellness.”

"As Fern Stewart Welch opens her heart to divine guidance, she brings us practical wisdom that helps us bring balance into our lives during these troubled times.” –Gladys T. McGarey, M.D., M.D. [H], author of “The Physician Within You,” and the recently released “Living Medicine.”
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Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

How You and I Can Help Barack Obama Change the World

2009-01-19T00:08:00.002-07:00

Tomorrow Barack Obama will be sworn in as the next president of the United States of America. Our nation and many people around the globe will be watching this historic event and seeing him as the bearer of the world’s hopes and dreams.

I could not feel more compassionate toward this young man if he were my own son. Along with many others, I have been searching my heart and mind for any insights I could share to help us help this courageous individual meet such a huge and complex destiny.

It won’t be easy. According to the news media, we are facing the largest economic crisis in our nation since the Great Depression of the 1930s. And each day’s news is filled with yet more despicable deeds of greed and self-interest, as wells as wars and terrorism that tear at the heart of millions of consciously aware human beings who value honesty, honor, integrity and respect for all life.

I believe that the groundswell of energy that came together around Barack Obama was in response to the cry of humanity for us to dig down deep and retrieve our nation’s spiritual purpose and fulfill its destiny.

The fact that everything in our country seemed to come to a head the closer it came to election time, made the urgency for change so desperate that it could not be denied. As a nation, we will need to draw on all our physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual resources to help make this happen.

It still won’t be easy. Most of us realize that no government is capable of making the much-desired changes on its own or all at one time. We also must accept the fact that casting an affirmative vote for Barack Obama was only the first step. We can’t afford to sit back and just wait and watch what happens. This is how we got into this mess in the first place. We must help in any way we can.

Fortunately, there are more conscious and aware human beings on Earth now than at any other time in history. I have written in the past about my belief that many of those alive on Earth at this time were born to help create a new chapter in the history of humanity. Who knew that this would turn out to be “the time”?

Most of us also recognize that love is one of the most powerful energy-forces in the universe. It can cancel out anger, bigotry, greed, hatred, self-interest and all the other ills that plague our world. Many individuals also know that when we turn within and touch even lightly this wellspring of love, our energy vibration is automatically increased. What the world desperately needs right now is an infusion of love, and it has to begin with us loving ourselves and then living from this higher consciousness.

The great Indian leader Mahatma Gandhi said that we must be the change we want to see in the world. If we want to have a sane, loving, balanced and harmonious world, then we have to be willing to change and live those qualities. It starts with us.

There is much we need to do. We must resolve to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. We need to stay alert and focused and to take responsibility for our lives. In addition to looking after our families and others, we must face each day with faith in the future we are helping to co-create.

We must also monitor our thoughts and the words that come out of our mouths, making sure we remain positive. Repeat daily: All is well. We are divinely guided, guarded and protected in everything we think, say and do. We affirm, accept and expect that harmony, love, peace, prosperity, wholeness and wisdom now manifest on Earth.

Another vital step is to consistently shore up our President and the government as they work for the desired changes. We do this through our own actions, and also by directing positive thoughts and prayers to our nation’s leaders.

It is extremely important that we have the support of other like-minded individuals to stay strong and positive within ourselves. It doesn’t matter whether it comes from a small group of friends, a religious or spiritual organization or a global link with thousands via the Internet, or all the above. The critical need is to be connected with the positive energy of others who share a common intention to help each of us get through this transformative time as easily as possible.

I believe that the deciding factor in whether or not our new president and the government is successful in answering the clarion call for change will ultimately depend on us as individuals. It’s simply time for humanity to take another evolutionary leap in consciousness, and in order to get our attention the crises had to be huge and harsh.

It is reassuring to know that our parents and grandparents went through this after the collapse of Wall Street in 1929, and our country lived through the hard times and prospered. They wanted to make our country a better place for the hopes and dreams of their children and grandchildren. I believe this is an opportunity for another do-over, and hopefully we will get it right this time.
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Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” – are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

It Takes More Than New Year's Resolutions to Change Our Lives

2008-12-28T23:04:00.002-07:00

Like millions of others, I made New Year’s resolutions in the past, and then failed to fulfill them. This annual ritual became an exercise in how to beat myself up for my failures.

Then I learned the concept of changing our lives by changing our thoughts. I fully understood that if what I was experiencing wasn’t desirable, it was equally possible to follow this concept and create a life of happiness and fulfillment. I made this idea part of my life over three decades ago.

It didn’t take me long to realize why we can never be successful by making fervent, but wishful statements about our life challenges. I learned that the problem was in the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold about ourselves, which directly affect such important issues as abundance, health, relationships and success.

I discovered that it was necessary to go within and find out what we really desire in life. I also found that at a deep level most human beings believe they aren’t good enough, deserving or worthy, which effectively blocks their good. To heal those thoughts, say every day as often as possible: I love myself just the way I am, right here, right now. I deserve all the blessings the world has to offer. I am willing to change my negative thoughts and to accept good for myself.

The core beliefs we hold of being unworthy are only thoughts, which create a feeling that binds them to us. If we change the thought, we change that feeling. It doesn’t matter how long we have held negative thoughts or what the thoughts are. We can change the thoughts. Memorize this and say it as often as possible: I love myself, and am willing to change my thoughts. I now allow only positive thoughts about myself.

If we have been hurt in the past, or we hurt someone and are still holding onto the thoughts, we only hurt ourselves. These thoughts have determined the life we have now and will decide the future. We must release these thoughts and be free of the past. The only way to do that is to be willing to forgive not only others but to forgive ourselves. Say this as often as possible and for as long as it takes: I forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to myself, and to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free, they are free.

The key is to love ourselves so that we can open to accepting what is truly desired into our life. By paying close attention to what we think and say, we become aware of the many times we put ourselves down for the simplest and most inconsequential things. This is a negative habit that keeps us stuck in victim-hood, and assures that our life will continue to be less than desirable. Start today, and repeat often: I am wonderful, lovable, deserving and worthy and I love myself just the way I am.

While it may not be possible to say these affirmations and really mean them at first – if you continue you will – and your life will begin to change. And, while the only one we can ever change is ourselves, when we begin to experience positive changes in our life, it will have an effect on others. Know that whatever our current situation is, we have created it. The good news is that now we can consciously choose the life we desire.

Once we decide what we want, and can love ourselves enough to accept having it, the positive affirmations set a powerful force in motion, and we have only to persevere to be successful. Say every day as often as possible: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am willing to do what it takes to change my thoughts. I give thanks for the good that comes to me now, and affirm that only good goes out from me to the world.

Negative thought patterns often take time to change, so we need to be patient and gentle with ourselves. When we begin to falter or doubt, we must take heart and know that millions of others have taken responsibility for their lives and are proving that when they change their thoughts, their lives change. Say every day: I never give up and I never give in—and victory will be yours.
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch [The author is on holiday. This is one of her most popular seasonal essays.]

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

The Gift That Only You Can Give Yourself

2008-12-22T00:13:00.001-07:00

The more time I spend in and observing nature the more I learn about myself. It recently dawned on me that I have spent my entire life in an effort to learn to relax and be who I am. I discovered this by watching the rabbits and birds that frequent my lush yard. They are totally content with being what they are.

I smile when I think about what it must be like to be a blade of grass, whose only role in life is to grow and be green. In doing so, it fulfills its purpose and enhances the beauty of a yard or field. What a sad and frustrating experience it would be for that blade of grass to spend its lifespan wishing to be a flower, a shrub or a tree. Yet, not being grounded and accepting who we are seems to be part of the human condition, resulting in many of us spending our lives striving to be something that we are not.

It does not have to be and should not be that way. Each of us is important, as no one else can be who I am, or who you are. It is only our wayward minds that confuse and frustrate us and keep us from enjoying the fullness of what it means to be alive in this form here and now.

I believe the most important element in overcoming this tendency is to come to peace within ourselves and accept who we were born to be. Our culture is so focused on the external world that we rarely, if ever, take the time to explore the inner world that is within us.

Many people believe that life is what happens to us externally, and our role is to react to whatever comes our way, but that is not so. The fact is that the point of power is within us and has always been. We need to realize that the way life is supposed to happen is from within out—not the other way around. When we understand this, we become empowered and can determine much of what happens to us in life.

We have the power to stop our fear-based frantic search for answers outside ourselves. Unfortunately, our culture focuses on and requires that we not be in touch with ourselves or with our environment, much to the detriment of both.

Going within and connecting with our inner selves is an absolute necessity. It naturally leads to connecting with that larger part of us that knows we are one with everyone else, with all life, as well as with the Earth itself. At that point, there is no confusion or frustration about who we are or what our purpose is on this planet, as it is simply to be fully and wholly who we were born to be.

Once we make this connection, we will be free of the thoughts that have kept us off-balance and off-purpose and that preclude us from achieving our full human potential. There is great power in this knowing—power that can change our lives and the world. It is the gift that only you can give to you.
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch [The author is on holiday. This is one of her most popular seasonal essays.]

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

The True Path to Happy Holidays Comes From Within

2008-12-14T23:57:00.005-07:00

Several weeks ago at a local church, the minister announced holiday events for those who have no family or who choose not to be with the family they do have during the holidays. While this brought an amused reaction from the congregation, it is common knowledge that in today’s world many people experience sorrow over broken family relationships.

I understand that kind of sadness. I realize that some of the depression during the holiday season is due to the unfulfilled dreams and desires that are often rooted in the mists of childhood. The sadness increases when people think of certain television commercials and movies that present an idyllic view of the perfect family holiday, as well as the imagined “wonderful” holidays everyone else is having.

I once held those images in my mind, but I have learned a lot since I quit buying into the ideal family holiday. Now I know that what is can be enough if you make the most of it.

It isn’t always possible to have close relationships with all your family members. Sometimes it is better to draw close to and bless those relationships we do have. We need to recognize, honor and relish every moment we have to spend with close friends and family.

There are, of course, profound and positive reasons for family gatherings, including savoring the bond represented by extended family, and more importantly allowing children to be embraced in a circle of multigenerational love that provides a strong foundation that will enhance their entire lives. It also gives us an opportunity to learn to honor and accept differences, which is a quality much needed in the world today.

However, while our individual holiday challenges may differ, the emotions they bring may be the same. For me, my adult children and grandchildren are building their own traditions and going their own ways, which is a natural part of the life process. I discovered that dwelling on whom or what I didn’t have in my life during the holidays was a waste of time and life energy. It only results in stress and sadness and detracts from the true meaning of the holidays.

This is a time of year when people aren’t embarrassed to open their hearts and revel in the joy and blessing of sharing with others and truly feeling the joy of being alive. I choose that. I refuse to be cheated out of this goodness by letting any less than positive thoughts rule my consciousness.

What this means is taking control of my thoughts and my life before the holiday season arrives. This year I planned a small gathering early in November to kick off the season. I also bought beautiful poinsettia plants to brighten my home and lift my spirits, and placed electric candles in the upstairs window to broadcast my joy to others.

My holiday calendar [some of which I initiated] also includes intimate time with some family members and longtime friends for lunch, dinner, afternoon tea at a lovely hotel, a holiday-themed concert and theater production, cookie decorating, and holiday movies with my younger grandchildren followed by a trip to the mall to see the seasonal decorations.

What I discovered is that when you choose to do what you truly enjoy, with people who are important and meaningful in your life, the events are guaranteed to fill your arms with hugs and your heart with love.

I don’t believe in allowing the actions or inactions of others to control my happiness. I believe the secret is not to wait for the joy and love to come to us, but to reach out and share our own love and joy—making the world a far better place!
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch [The author is on holiday. This is one of her most popular seasonal essays.]

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
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Are We Living Our Ideal Life?

2008-12-07T22:52:00.001-07:00

Because of the serious challenges we now face, many people are being forced to reevaluate their lives. They are realizing that all the time they were rushing toward the future and pursuing the external trappings of a successful life – money, prestige and power – they were chasing an illusion.

They were living someone else’s idea of how life should be lived and not the one they were born to experience. The discontent they feel comes from a place deep within their core that knows the peace, contentment and happiness that is missing from their lives comes only from living a truly meaningful life.

I learned the lesson through the intense and dramatic years as a single parent of three children. The true journey is one in which we focus on our inner lives and seek to live in a way that fulfills our soul purpose and furthers the cause of good on Earth.

If we want to make a change in our lives for tomorrow and for the rest of our lives, we must take responsibility for where we are right now. We must also accept the truth that what we think, feel, say and do have determined our past and will continue to determine our future, unless we change our approach.

We must monitor our thoughts, decide what we truly want and focus on that goal with constancy in order to create the life we should be living. What we choose must not harm or take from another and must be for our highest and best good, as then it will benefit all others.

I have written about those concepts before, but somehow I had forgotten until now another vital element that was tremendously beneficial in my life: The importance of identifying and living an ideal.

An “ideal” is far above an idea, as it has the potential to enhance our souls and further the cause of good in the world. Our ideal must be something that we can never fully achieve in this lifetime; that strengthens our passion and propels us ever onward and upward. It can also give us a reason for living that is worthwhile and brings satisfaction at the core of our being.

Our ideal can be expressed in a single word, such as: love, kindness, truth, joy, happiness, wisdom, peace, harmony or balance. It can also be a phrase such as: being one with life, one with God, loving relationships, appreciating beauty, appreciating nature, inspiring others through the arts, serving life or bringing hope to others.

We need to devote whatever time it takes to discover the ideal that resonates within our heart, mind and soul. When we commit to our ideal, and place it before us daily during prayers or meditation and think of it often during each day, we will soon find ourselves in alignment with our soul’s true purpose.

I believe we are born onto this planet with the intention of fulfilling some part of Life’s purpose. I believe we each have a personal life mission as well as a larger mission that benefits the world.

Our ideal is our compass. In good times it makes decisions easier as the only question to answer is: Will this bring me closer to living my ideal? When times are bad, we hold fast to our ideal, as we can know that keeping our head and heart pointed toward our ideal will bring us safely through.

By choosing to be guided by our ideal, we begin the greatest journey of our lives. As we connect with the core of our being, we find the peace that passes understanding, as well as a wellspring of joy and wholeness.

We also place ourselves in alignment with what is Good in the universe, and as instruments of Good/God, we will be helping our nation and the world experience a safer passage through this time of global transformation.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

The Importance of an Attitude of Gratitude

2008-11-30T20:56:00.001-07:00

As everyone knows, we are facing serious challenges in our country right now, providing us a perfect opportunity to consider utilizing the highest and best information available to protect and maintain our health, prosperity and happiness or, if needed, to increase all three. Taking advantage of this tried and true information will benefit anyone who uses it, and in the process it will help heal America.

This information has been around for eons, and has allowed many thousands of individuals to create successful, enriching and happy lives despite external socio-economic conditions.

The primary concept, which I have written about before, is that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives. Millions of people around the world are confirming the truth of this concept daily by living it. They are also attaining and maintaining an Attitude of Gratitude, which is a key component that assures success.

It is helpful to remember that gratitude is simply taking the time to look around us and appreciate what we do have. And not only does the Universe love a grateful heart, it responds affirmatively by sending us more of the good we are already enjoying. In practicing gratitude each day, this places us in alignment with what is Good in the Universe. This is a powerful place from which to act. By placing only positive thoughts and affirmations of our desires into the Universal Law, and maintaining an attitude of gratitude, we receive back what we have placed as our order.

The challenge for some of us lies in the fact that no matter what we have, we often see only lack and scarcity because we don’t have enough, or we fear it won’t be enough in the future, or isn’t everything we want, or what we really want. If we truly want to change our lives for the better, it is vitally important that we start to become consciously aware of the many Good things that actually are in our lives and to start being grateful for them – no matter how small they may seem to be at the time.

One excellent way to do this is to take time each day, either first thing in the morning or at bedtime in the evening, or both, to repeat everything we can think of that we can be grateful for in that day. Just say: I am grateful for ______________, and let your mind and heart fill in the blank. We can also make a written list or start a Gratitude Journal and keep track of everything for which we are grateful. When gratitude is practiced consistently it is positively life changing.

I start each morning by being grateful for another day of life, for a good night’s sleep, or an unbroken night’s sleep, for the comfortable and warm bed, for my house, my car and for each person, event and experience I will meet this day. I also repeat these affirmations daily: I am grateful for this day, knowing it is the first day of the best years of my life. I am grateful for the continuing Good that comes into my life in expected and unexpected ways.

At night, before I fall asleep, I review the day and while going over it bit by bit, I declare every event Good, every person Good and bless the day. Then I repeat these affirmations: I bless everything that happened today and everyone with whom I came in contact. I am grateful for all the Good I see in my life and for the Good that is yet to be. As I turn over, I always feel complete and clear of the happenings of the day, and just naturally drift into a peaceful sleep.

As we learn to focus on positive thoughts and to live with an attitude of gratitude, this raises our energy vibration, which also elevates the consciousness of humanity. Since our government mirrors our level of awareness, we will also be helping our country return to a state of harmony and balance, and this is another blessed gift for which we can be exceedingly grateful.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

The Simple Joys of Nature's Seasons

2008-11-23T21:54:00.001-07:00

In the desert where I live, triple-digit temperatures have finally dropped into the 70s during the daytime, and this means our fall is almost here. I have been doing some re-potting and planting of flowers in my small patio garden and am once again feeling the joy of being in harmony with nature.

I realize that many people are city dwellers today, and seldom think of the importance of nature in our lives. The tendency is to get caught up in the fast pace of life and forget what it feels like to connect with the Earth, feel the soil in our hands and participate in the natural cycles of life.

Still, I believe that we all share a primal response when we notice that nature is shifting into another seasonal change. It may be the falling leaves and a slight chill in the air, or in some areas the first snowfall, but for that fleeting moment we are reconnected to the Earth and grounded in the truth that we are one with everyone and everything on this planet.

While I have lived in the desert long enough to get used to just two seasons, hot and not so hot, there are definitely some rewards. In addition to giving relatives who live in more frigid zones a difficult time by announcing the balmy shirt-sleeve temperatures we enjoy on some of their coldest days, we can wear the same type of clothing year round.

Even though my family moved to the desert when I was a pre-teen, some of my most cherished memories are of winters in St. Louis, where the climate changes were definitely less subtle. For instance, I remember once as a young child I awakened before anyone else in my family with a heightened sense of excitement. And sure enough when I ran to the window and checked, there was the first snow of the season and it was so brilliantly white that in the light it seemed to be sprinkled with jewels. I also didn’t miss the fact that it looked at least six to eight inches deep.

Without another thought I grabbed my coat and quietly left the house barefoot and in what was surely a state of childhood bliss. There was not another footprint anywhere in sight. I ran to the end of our block one way and then to the other with an intention of being the first person to leave footprints in this magical gift. I believe that in marking the occasion in this way, I was paying natural homage to the blessedness of the event, as well as a child’s way of joyously welcoming another opportunity to have fun.

And fun we did have. When we weren’t in school, there were the special days of going with my older brothers to Lafayette Park and sailing down the hillsides on our sturdy wooden sleds, which they masterfully guided. On regular days, we younger kids satisfied our desire to drain every last bit of joy from the snow by building forts and having day-long snowball fights, interrupted only by the need to go indoors and thaw out and being forced to go to the bathroom, eat or put on dry clothes.

Even the adults seemed to appreciate the beauty of the local park, which became a snow-covered wonderland. The picture-postcard images of stately bare trees dressed in arctic-blue ice and outlined against the grey-blue skies were ethereally beautiful.

What great and treasured memories. Yet, as I look around my neighborhood today, there are mostly desert-friendly trees such as paloverde, olive, oleander, mesquite and greasewood. The sun is shining brilliantly, it is a balmy 75 degrees, and flowers are blooming all over the neighborhood, including bright-red geraniums on my back patio. And there will be no shoveling of anything, except maybe a little dirt. Life is good when we are in harmony with nature, no matter the reason or the season, or even the climate zone we call home.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

How Our New President Can Help Us Maintain Hope

2008-11-16T22:23:00.003-07:00

There is absolutely no secret as to why the president-elect struck such a respondent chord with millions of Americans. Or why his victory reverberated within the hearts and minds of leaders and ordinary citizens around the world. It was obvious that not only were we losing hope, but it seemed much of the world was in the same boat. The presidential nominee’s stirring words and the promise of change spoke to the innermost desires of many freedom-loving people around the globe.

The challenges we face are the result of a retreat from basic values that our founding fathers held dear. We allowed greed and self-interest to grow wild and unchecked in our government, and in the institutions that were intended to benefit American citizens. Personal accountability is at an all-time low in our country, as are honesty, honor, integrity, respect and truth. Since we live in a democracy, the responsibility to pay attention is ours. We can’t afford to lose our focus again.

It is vital for us to remember that our government and the conditions in our nation simply reflect back to us the collective, predominant thoughts and actions of the citizenry. In order to have a better government, we must live to the highest and best ideals within us so that this is mirrored in our leaders, our government and institutions.

Bearing in mind that personal responsibility and accountability are major keys for all of us, here is what we will need from the new president and his administration to sustain our rekindled hope in the future:

First and foremost, he must prove to be a leader worthy of following.

This means holding firm to the values of truth, honor, integrity, honesty and respect that were prescribed by our founding fathers. He must unequivocally assure that our nation embraces the cause of human rights at all times and under all conditions.

We must have transparency in government, and the president must help all of us understand, as Franklin Delano Roosevelt did during another traumatic time, what our country is doing, why, and what we must be willing to sacrifice and do in order to support and help our country’s policies succeed.

Our leader must develop and follow a well-considered and sensible foreign policy that relies on diplomatic intervention and solutions, and comes from a point of cooperation instead of competition and intimidation. War is no longer acceptable as a substitute for conflict resolution.

Many people are aware that there are enough finances and material goods available to end world hunger and poverty. Ignoring these basic challenges only results in circumstances and situations that foment and encourage the continuation of world aggression and violence. There is a ready wellspring of intelligent and credible people who could help the incoming administration develop a plan and implement it.

Ending the torture and resolving the disaster represented by Guantanamo Bay would quickly herald a return to sanity and values in this country. This would go a long way toward undoing the damage to America’s reputation as a leader in human rights. It would also enhance and support the global goodwill and respect that is now being expressed and is so welcome.

We also expect the incoming president to make the best use of the brilliant minds of our time and meet the major challenges, which include: pulling us out of the economic downturn, resolving the situation in Iraq with honor on all sides, giving intense consideration to any commitment of additional troops in Afghanistan, making definitive and effective moves toward resolving global warming, ending our dependence on foreign oil and effectively passing humane and sane immigration reform.

As Americans, we have always been willing to make any sacrifice and shoulder any responsibility to work together for a return to stability and order in our nation. We have done it before and with renewed hope we can do it again.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

How We Can Help Our President Make a Difference

2008-11-09T20:58:00.003-07:00

I believe at the conclusion of the recent presidential election any historical aspects were trumped by the widespread resurgence of hope that has long been missing in our nation. This was a result that took many millions of Americans, including myself, pleasantly by surprise, as the calls for change by both candidates were believed by some to be simply the usual political campaign rhetoric.

Now, however, we have renewed hope and confidence that the many ills in our government and in our nation can be healed. There is hope in the belief that not only is change possible, but that it can be a reality. And hope that once again our nation can regain its rightful place as a respected world leader.

This emotion of hope proved to be so strong and infectious that it ignited the hearts and minds of millions of our countrymen, as well as leaders and ordinary citizens around the world. This fragile flame presents an opportunity, an opening that must be protected and utilized wisely. Hope, combined with faith in a righteous cause, can change the world. As a nation, our leaders must harness the renewed hope and once again set us on a positive path. And it is vital that we support them.

We have known for years that there has been a crisis of values such as honesty, respect and integrity at all levels in our society. We also knew that our country was on a slippery slope as far as the direction in which we were heading in domestic and foreign affairs, and with all the dire circumstances facing us it seemed inevitable that we were edging closer to the abyss.

The basis of our democratic form of government requires the initiative, interest and involvement of all citizens. This has been severely lacking over the last few decades, and by not fulfilling our responsibility, we ended up getting the government we deserve.

Our government and the conditions in our nation simply reflect back to us the collective, predominant thought forms of our citizenry.

We must not take our attention off the desired course again. Change must come from inside us if we want our government to change. If we want to grow past wars as a means of conflict resolution – or to change the path our government has been on – we must also change.

It’s not what we say we are as individuals, but what each of us truly is and believes at the core of our being that makes a difference. It truly is done unto us as we believe. When we change our thoughts our lives change. Since our government mirrors our collective thoughts, if we change, our government will change.

When enough of us can clear and cleanse invalid thoughts, life patterns and emotions that have kept us mired in negativity, we will have elevated our energy vibration and our conscious awareness. As we heal ourselves, we protect and enhance the future of our nation and the world.

It isn’t simple or easy. This healing calls for a dramatic change. It means living from the highest and best that is within us. If we cheat on our families, our income taxes or in our business dealings with others, we can expect the continued proliferation of greed and dishonesty at all level of society and in our government.

If we lie, cheat, steal or are lazy and don’t do our part to further the cause of democracy – no matter how well meaning, charismatic or gifted the new president – nothing will change. It can’t. The president’s role is to be on the front line and hold the torch high for us, but it will take a concerted effort on behalf of all of us to make desired changes.

We cannot afford to let this opportunity pass us by. Whatever changes we need to make in our lives, whatever we need to do to support our communities, our country and to help our president make a difference—now is the time.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Good Health Takes More than an Apple a Day

2008-11-03T07:38:00.003-07:00

As parents, we often think how great it would be if we could take all the lessons learned from our various life experiences and magically infuse them into our offspring – and see them accepted as readily as a cold drink on a hot day. Dream on. Even while our children are in front of us seemingly receiving such words of wisdom, the life force is surging through their bodies beckoning them to unknown and exotic adventures that are of their own making; not rules set by their parents.

This is often glaringly evident in the choices children make relating to their health and well-being. All too often, after a few years of being urged to eat their vegetables, brush their teeth and take care of their bodies, they find the switch inside their heads that turns off the lectures.

What we parents really want is for our children and grandchildren to benefit from our mistakes and to awaken sooner rather than later and learn to live healthier and happier lives. The truth is that it isn’t easy. Life does come at us fast, and we get so busy trying to fulfill our varied life roles that not only do we lose contact with our bodies; we lose the natural wisdom within us that knows how to care for our physical vehicles.

It has long been known in many cultures that the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical aspects of our bodies are interconnected. Many disease processes that show up in the bodies of adults have their beginnings in the mental and emotional levels of our being and then manifest in the physical body. When a dis-ease or illness shows up at that time, it is often a message from our subconscious letting us know that we are out of balance at some level of our being, either mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

By the time we are five or six years old, far too many of us have already internalized messages about being undeserving and unlovable. These invalid subconscious directives can have an undesirable impact on our health and our lives and will continue to do so until we replace them in our subconscious with positive ones. Repeat daily: I now willingly release any need, pattern or belief in my subconscious that denies the truth of me—which is love. I deserve the best life has to offer.

It is now believed that a contributing factor to adult-onset disease and illness is a lack of forgiveness for someone in our lives, and the one that is the hardest to forgive is usually the one we most need to forgive. Sometimes it’s us. Repeat daily: I freely and wholly forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to me or anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive (name) ________ for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free. They are free.

There are many ways in which to come into alignment with our bodies and our inner wisdom, such as: meditation and prayer, working with our dreams, and discovering our life’s purpose and joyously living it. Repeat daily: There is an infinite source of wisdom, love, health, peace, prosperity and guidance at the core of my being. As I turn within and align with this awareness, all the answers and solutions desired for health and happiness are now mine.

The pendulum in our country on any issue normally swings wide before it settles into a commonsense equilibrium, as in the case of health. Ignoring our bodies and taking them for granted was not the answer, and neither is becoming health fanatics.

As parents, we can take comfort in knowing that someone may have been listening after all. It is now becoming common knowledge that the way to live healthier, longer and happier lives is to take early responsibility for our bodies and to learn how to cooperate with them. That’s all we ever wanted!
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

The Key to Financial Security ... No Matter What!

2008-10-27T07:00:00.003-07:00

It is a given that our country and the world will ultimately resolve the current financial crisis. The good news right now is that this is an ideal time to consider some ancient tried-and-true prosperity principles. Many famous and successful people have used these concepts for centuries to create and preserve their financial security, despite the external economic conditions.

We have always used our thoughts to create our life circumstances; we simply were not consciously aware of doing so. The rub is that for many of us the results were undesirable. Not only are we responsible for whatever we lacked in our lives in the past, unless we make a change this will also be our future.

We are the only ones who can change the events and conditions we are attracting to us. And it is true that we can change our lives by changing our thoughts. However, most of today’s prosperity information focuses on creating financial gain by mentally deciding what we want, writing it down, picturing it and affirming that it is ours.

These actions are part of the overall process, but they depend only on our finite mental power, instead of utilizing the infinite power that is within us. Until we realize that prosperity and abundance are our natural state, our spiritual birthright, the results will be, at best, undependable and short-lived.

In order to connect with our natural state, our true selves, we must go within. Meditation is one way to enhance our alignment with our inner selves. As we do this, we open ourselves to greater conscious awareness, and are literally fanning the flame in our souls that knows we are powerful spiritual beings and abundance is our God-given original state. We need to become immersed in this truth and act from it.

We live in an incredibly abundant Universe filled with powerful energy that is constantly seeking to become more. This energy is in us and everything in the cosmos, and is called by many names, including God. Within this energy, there is also an impersonal force that receives our thoughts and emotions and returns to us exactly what we project into it through our thoughts and feelings. This is extremely good news because if we have created undesirable conditions it is possible to change our thoughts and change the results that are delivered to us.

By following the concepts below, and consciously sharing heart-directed love, time and our worldly goods to benefit others, the financial success and abundance that result are then part of the natural flow of life – and as such, are firmly anchored in our lives, No Matter What!

Affirm daily: I give thanks for this amazingly abundant Universe and know that it is my birthright to receive all that I can accept. I do not depend upon persons or external conditions for my prosperity or my abundance. The eternal and sublime energy-God is the source of my supply. And so it is!

When we love ourselves and feel worthy and deserving, we create a prosperity passageway within us that keeps our flow of Good constantly coming to us.

Affirm daily: I am worthy and deserving of prosperity and abundance. I love and approve of myself right now. I claim my good, and it manifests in my life peacefully, joyously and harmoniously, with Good for all concerned. And so it is!

When we know that what we desire is good for us and all others, we do not have to scheme, stress or be concerned that our good takes from anyone.

Affirm daily: The forgiving love of the Universe sets me free from all mistakes of the past or present. My Good comes to me now, pressed down and running over, with Good for all concerned. And so it is!

To maintain the uninterrupted flow of prosperity and abundance, we need to clear and cleanse any negative thoughts we may hold about anyone or anything, past or present.

Affirm daily: I freely and wholly forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to me or to anyone else past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me past or present. I am free, they are free. And so it is!

As we maintain an attitude of gratitude, our prosperity consciousness expands. This allows us to accept more blessings into our experience, to create lasting financial security and abundant, joyous, meaningful lives for ourselves and our loved ones.

Affirm daily: I am grateful for the abundance of life. I give thanks for the prosperity and abundance that continually blesses my life, the lives of others and the Earth. And so it is!
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

[For additional insights, go to: http://www.fernstewartwelch.com/, scroll down “How-to Lists” and read Realizing Your Heart Desires and Fulfill Your Potential.]

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.