Not unlike others among us, I have reached that point in life where my sometimes cavalier approach to health means my history has become my biology. In other words, the old gray mare ain’t what she used to be, and it’s time to pay the piper. My past transgressions include a tendency toward living to eat instead of eating to live, as well as a lack of appreciation of the importance of exercise in coping with stress. It was also a surprise to learn that I wasn’t breathing properly, which I thought was a natural aptitude.
So here I am, several weeks after an early morning visit to the Emergency Room, hoisted on a petard. As a proponent of balancing the best of holistic and conventional medicine, I find myself with one foot on the conveyer belt of conventional medicine, which is in motion, and the other foot planted firmly on the platform of my belief system.
It wasn’t a comfortable place to be. For a brief moment I wondered if I had the intestinal fortitude to continue taking responsibility for my body and charting a wise if less traveled path regarding my health. I took heart immediately when I thought about my excellent team of learned physicians who honor and embrace complementary medicine, which combines the best of both fields. They believe in looking at an ailing patient as someone who has an imbalance of body, mind and/or spirit, instead of a disease that happens to have a person attached to it.
Basically, I am in good health, and for the past thirty years have chosen holistic modalities whenever possible. I weighed my choices critically: If I chose to adhere to the follow-up directions from the ER, this meant I would get on the train and my ticket would be punched saying I have certain symptoms, which means the only destination is a one-size fits all diagnosis and one-size fits all drugs that often escalate into stronger drugs and more invasive treatments.
My decision was made. The uncharted path I continued to choose meant that I would seek the wise counsel of my former primary care physician, Gladys T. McGarey, M.D., M.D.(H), who at age 89 is now functioning as a life coach. As the acknowledged “Mother of Holistic Medicine in America,” she was able to support my decision and recommend a medical specialist who can lead me in an alternative approach that is congruent with the core of my being, and also honors conventional and complementary medicine.
Once again I felt secure and empowered. I also remembered that the only constant in life is change and that the spiritual journey we are all on – whether we’re aware of it or not – is never about the challenges that come up, but how we face them. I’ve learned that the key is to ask what we are to learn from any situation or condition, then to meet it with all the love and wisdom we can muster. In doing this, we gain additional insights, master another level of how life on Earth really works – and move beyond the situation into a higher energy vibration.
In a recent conversation with a friend about health situations that are part of the human condition, she said her late father taught her that whenever the inevitable physical, mental or emotional upheavals occur in her life, she is to stop, smile broadly and state firmly, and often – I can hardly wait to see the good in this! The smile blesses the situation, instead of condemning it – often our first reaction – and the positive statement sets in motion the expectation of good.
Wise words to live by no matter the situation or the healing path we choose!
_________________________________
Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
The Practiced Ear Hears the Song of God in Nature
I sense a deep primordial kinship with the fall season. As the Earth’s energy slows down following the boisterous display of summer, I instinctively know it is time to draw within and spend quiet time in contemplation. The need is strong, and the sometimes cloudy, cooler days complement this desire.
Lately, I find myself reflecting on the creativity of nature and the similarity of thoughts and seeds. Whenever I plant a sunflower seed in my small patio garden, I can rest assured that the germinated seed will produce a sunflower. So too will the thoughts I focus on produce their own likeness, and whether they are deemed desirable or undesirable depends on the quality of my thoughts. It is important to choose my thoughts carefully so that what springs forth in my life is as dependable and desirable as what flourishes in my garden.
In joyous anticipation of partnering with nature, I pick up my pruning shears and trowel and head for my small back patio garden to view the results of the Southwest desert’s harsh triple-digit temperatures. Despite appropriate care, some potted flowers have not survived, much like some of my misplaced thoughts and desires. I bless them and with a sigh, scoop them up and recycle them into the earth.
I am heartened though that while some umbrella plants are brown half-way to the base of their sword-like leaves, they are still alive and worthy of continued attention and care. I know that with judicial pruning, some plant food and lower temperatures they will have a rebirth and soon settle in – healthy and strong for the milder winter months.
It is with great pleasure that I notice the gentle breeze that cools my brow and plays a melody on the chimes. I survey the healthy green of the large jasmine bush and the heavenly bamboo that long ago sent their roots deep into the earth. They can easily withstand the summer heat and the cold of winter.
I realize that many of us also seek to anchor our trust and faith into something greater than we are that will sustain us and enable us to not only survive but to thrive despite the traumas, trials and tribulations of life.
For sentimental reasons, I always plant red Emperor tulip bulbs in pots and place them in a box of sawdust in the garage to prepare them for an early blooming period in a process known as “forcing.”
Each time the brilliant red tulips reach full bloom in the still-cold days of winter, I honor the many flowering plants that have “nursed” me through trying times in my life. They serve as gentle reminders to my yearning heart that spring will eventually burst forth once again in all of its full frolicking, rollicking and riotous splendor.
While surveying the ravages of summer on some of the plants, I realized I finally understand my late husband’s seemingly blasé approach to flower and vegetable gardening. As a master gardener as well as a practical person, he would give the seeds and sprouts all the tender loving care necessary for optimal growth and then say, “Shape up or ship out.”
He gave them every chance to survive, but when it became obvious that they weren’t going to make it – into the compost pile they went. I now find this not only a well-reasoned approach to the mysterious vagaries of plant survival, but to the choices we make in life. If our thoughts-decisions bring good results, excellent. If not, we uproot them and choose new ones.
I was initiated into the joys of gardening in childhood by my grandmothers and my favorite uncle, and my lifelong interest was matched by that of my late husband. They taught me that nature is the true language of our being, and that we can learn from it whatever we need to know about life.
The invitation is always there for us to draw near the bosom of nature. If we lean close and listen, we can hear the serenade of God, and know that we are part of Creation and one with all life – dissolving all fears.
_________________________________
Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Lately, I find myself reflecting on the creativity of nature and the similarity of thoughts and seeds. Whenever I plant a sunflower seed in my small patio garden, I can rest assured that the germinated seed will produce a sunflower. So too will the thoughts I focus on produce their own likeness, and whether they are deemed desirable or undesirable depends on the quality of my thoughts. It is important to choose my thoughts carefully so that what springs forth in my life is as dependable and desirable as what flourishes in my garden.
In joyous anticipation of partnering with nature, I pick up my pruning shears and trowel and head for my small back patio garden to view the results of the Southwest desert’s harsh triple-digit temperatures. Despite appropriate care, some potted flowers have not survived, much like some of my misplaced thoughts and desires. I bless them and with a sigh, scoop them up and recycle them into the earth.
I am heartened though that while some umbrella plants are brown half-way to the base of their sword-like leaves, they are still alive and worthy of continued attention and care. I know that with judicial pruning, some plant food and lower temperatures they will have a rebirth and soon settle in – healthy and strong for the milder winter months.
It is with great pleasure that I notice the gentle breeze that cools my brow and plays a melody on the chimes. I survey the healthy green of the large jasmine bush and the heavenly bamboo that long ago sent their roots deep into the earth. They can easily withstand the summer heat and the cold of winter.
I realize that many of us also seek to anchor our trust and faith into something greater than we are that will sustain us and enable us to not only survive but to thrive despite the traumas, trials and tribulations of life.
For sentimental reasons, I always plant red Emperor tulip bulbs in pots and place them in a box of sawdust in the garage to prepare them for an early blooming period in a process known as “forcing.”
Each time the brilliant red tulips reach full bloom in the still-cold days of winter, I honor the many flowering plants that have “nursed” me through trying times in my life. They serve as gentle reminders to my yearning heart that spring will eventually burst forth once again in all of its full frolicking, rollicking and riotous splendor.
While surveying the ravages of summer on some of the plants, I realized I finally understand my late husband’s seemingly blasé approach to flower and vegetable gardening. As a master gardener as well as a practical person, he would give the seeds and sprouts all the tender loving care necessary for optimal growth and then say, “Shape up or ship out.”
He gave them every chance to survive, but when it became obvious that they weren’t going to make it – into the compost pile they went. I now find this not only a well-reasoned approach to the mysterious vagaries of plant survival, but to the choices we make in life. If our thoughts-decisions bring good results, excellent. If not, we uproot them and choose new ones.
I was initiated into the joys of gardening in childhood by my grandmothers and my favorite uncle, and my lifelong interest was matched by that of my late husband. They taught me that nature is the true language of our being, and that we can learn from it whatever we need to know about life.
The invitation is always there for us to draw near the bosom of nature. If we lean close and listen, we can hear the serenade of God, and know that we are part of Creation and one with all life – dissolving all fears.
_________________________________
Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Peace Is Not Just the Absence of War
I recently had a rare opportunity, along with a number of others, to co-sponsor a speaking event featuring Arun Gandhi, grandson of the late Indian spiritual and political leader Mahatma Gandhi, at the New Vision Center in Scottsdale, Arizona.
The Center was jam-packed with people of all ages, and as Arun prepared to speak a hushed silence that spoke volumes descended on the gathering. It was a combination of the audience honoring his grandfather and acknowledging Arun as one of the most respected and influential figures in the international peace movement today. I also believe that we were all grateful, hopeful and relieved that he and others are still actively working on changing the culture of violence in our world.
In his introduction, Arun shared with us his early life in South Africa, where he daily experienced the injustices of apartheid, while his family was dedicated to nonviolent social reform. As a young man who was often beaten up and humiliated, he struggled to understand and embrace his family’s nonviolent response to racism and violence.
The anger this generated in Arun was a signal for his parents to send him to India to spend time with his grandfather, Mahatma Gandhi, during the most critical and tumultuous time in his grandfather’s efforts to free India from British rule.
Despite Mahatma Gandhi’s worldly concerns, India’s “Great Soul” set aside one hour each day for eighteen months for his grandson. During these times, he shared through stories and exercises his teachings on the aspects of nonviolence, truth, anger, humility, discipline, morality and spirituality.
The training Arun received from his grandfather, which he chronicled in his book, “Legacy of Love” would determine his future life as he came to understand and embrace his family’s response to racism and violence. He is a veteran writer-editor and author of eight books, as well as founder of the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence, which is located at Christian Brothers University in Memphis, Tennessee where he is a scholar-in-residence.
Arun held the Scottsdale audience spellbound for two hour as he shared information on a variety of peace-related topics. For example, he followed the profound statement that “Peace is not the absence of war” with a remarkable insight into why most of us think of violence as only physical, therefore missing the awareness that we daily contribute to passive violence.
According to Arun, we do this in many oppressive and disrespectful ways, including gossiping, name calling, teasing and insulting, as well as venting our anger on others. He compared passive violence to gasoline and physical violence to fire, and indicated that passive violence is what fuels physical violence.
He further explained that passive violence generates anger because the victim isn’t aware of how to deal with anger positively, and the only known recourse to the victim is to resort to some form of physical violence.
Arun believes that as a result of society’s pervasive fear of anger, and its subsequent ignorance of how to utilize anger as a practical and constructive force, we are losing a vital opportunity to curb the culture of violence that permeates our world today.
As someone who was slow to learn about conflict resolution and using anger constructively, I agree. Now that I know that anger itself is a natural human emotion, I can use the powerful energy behind it to seek a constructive resolution. While conflict resolution is now being taught in some elementary schools across the nation, what we also urgently need is remedial training in anger management and conflict resolution for every adult in America.
I was also fascinated by this next bit of information: Arun’s parents never punished their children for any breaches of behavior; instead they themselves paid the penance. They believed that their children’s errors in judgment were an indication of their failure as parents in not teaching them the proper behavioral guidelines. Their penance often took the form of fasting and the time frame for going without food depended on the seriousness of the transgression.
I couldn’t help but think about my three adult offspring with children of their own and wonder how they would feel about this concept. I also thought long and hard about the amount of retroactive penance that would be required of me. I realized for certain that I would never have had to think about diets or weight loss ever again and I probably wouldn’t live long enough to complete the penance.
After seriously contemplating that thought, it wasn’t long before I realized that this concept goes hand in hand with modeling nonviolent responses for our children from the time they are born. After all, the punishment concept has not worked at any level of our culture, and it’s time we recognized this and chose a more enlightened way.
Since change of any type takes time and commitment, we need to realize that unless we are willing to change individually, there will never be a collective change. I feel a powerful quote from Arun Gandhi’s grandfather rising up: We have to be the change we wish to see.
_________________________________
Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available to readers from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
The Center was jam-packed with people of all ages, and as Arun prepared to speak a hushed silence that spoke volumes descended on the gathering. It was a combination of the audience honoring his grandfather and acknowledging Arun as one of the most respected and influential figures in the international peace movement today. I also believe that we were all grateful, hopeful and relieved that he and others are still actively working on changing the culture of violence in our world.
In his introduction, Arun shared with us his early life in South Africa, where he daily experienced the injustices of apartheid, while his family was dedicated to nonviolent social reform. As a young man who was often beaten up and humiliated, he struggled to understand and embrace his family’s nonviolent response to racism and violence.
The anger this generated in Arun was a signal for his parents to send him to India to spend time with his grandfather, Mahatma Gandhi, during the most critical and tumultuous time in his grandfather’s efforts to free India from British rule.
Despite Mahatma Gandhi’s worldly concerns, India’s “Great Soul” set aside one hour each day for eighteen months for his grandson. During these times, he shared through stories and exercises his teachings on the aspects of nonviolence, truth, anger, humility, discipline, morality and spirituality.
The training Arun received from his grandfather, which he chronicled in his book, “Legacy of Love” would determine his future life as he came to understand and embrace his family’s response to racism and violence. He is a veteran writer-editor and author of eight books, as well as founder of the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence, which is located at Christian Brothers University in Memphis, Tennessee where he is a scholar-in-residence.
Arun held the Scottsdale audience spellbound for two hour as he shared information on a variety of peace-related topics. For example, he followed the profound statement that “Peace is not the absence of war” with a remarkable insight into why most of us think of violence as only physical, therefore missing the awareness that we daily contribute to passive violence.
According to Arun, we do this in many oppressive and disrespectful ways, including gossiping, name calling, teasing and insulting, as well as venting our anger on others. He compared passive violence to gasoline and physical violence to fire, and indicated that passive violence is what fuels physical violence.
He further explained that passive violence generates anger because the victim isn’t aware of how to deal with anger positively, and the only known recourse to the victim is to resort to some form of physical violence.
Arun believes that as a result of society’s pervasive fear of anger, and its subsequent ignorance of how to utilize anger as a practical and constructive force, we are losing a vital opportunity to curb the culture of violence that permeates our world today.
As someone who was slow to learn about conflict resolution and using anger constructively, I agree. Now that I know that anger itself is a natural human emotion, I can use the powerful energy behind it to seek a constructive resolution. While conflict resolution is now being taught in some elementary schools across the nation, what we also urgently need is remedial training in anger management and conflict resolution for every adult in America.
I was also fascinated by this next bit of information: Arun’s parents never punished their children for any breaches of behavior; instead they themselves paid the penance. They believed that their children’s errors in judgment were an indication of their failure as parents in not teaching them the proper behavioral guidelines. Their penance often took the form of fasting and the time frame for going without food depended on the seriousness of the transgression.
I couldn’t help but think about my three adult offspring with children of their own and wonder how they would feel about this concept. I also thought long and hard about the amount of retroactive penance that would be required of me. I realized for certain that I would never have had to think about diets or weight loss ever again and I probably wouldn’t live long enough to complete the penance.
After seriously contemplating that thought, it wasn’t long before I realized that this concept goes hand in hand with modeling nonviolent responses for our children from the time they are born. After all, the punishment concept has not worked at any level of our culture, and it’s time we recognized this and chose a more enlightened way.
Since change of any type takes time and commitment, we need to realize that unless we are willing to change individually, there will never be a collective change. I feel a powerful quote from Arun Gandhi’s grandfather rising up: We have to be the change we wish to see.
_________________________________
Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available to readers from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Monday, October 5, 2009
It's Time for Us to Grow Up and Become Mature Adults
Whenever I asked my late mother how she was feeling, she always replied – even in her ninth decade – that no matter her age, she felt the same inside as she did when she was a teenager. I admit that I also experienced that feeling most of my life, until an incident a few weeks ago.
I was at a large luncheon-book signing for my recently released book, and was photographed, as my mother would say, “Six ways from Sunday.” When I received a full set of the photos for publicity purposes, I had no alternative but to admit, “Well now, I am old.” Since in my family we tend to be totally grey by our forties, I had long since come to peace with my hair color. Also, I had decided years ago that how I lived was more important than resisting the natural aging process. But, I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.
I was surprised by the extra poundage, the double chin and the wrinkles – in addition to the grey hair that now defined me externally. Naturally, I mourned the loss of youth, but I soon realized that I still felt the same way inside, which was a remarkable gift. I also knew immediately that this was a wake-up call.
There were two important messages I gleaned from this situation: First was the reality that life on Earth is not forever, and I had only an uncertain number of years left to complete my life’s purpose, for which I desired optimal health and well-being. This meant finally getting with the program and losing my laxity concerning diet, exercise and nutrition. And second, the sad realization that I had let so much of my precious time on Earth go by before I was motivated to grow up, look at my life and take full responsibility for it.
If you look around, you will notice that being a grownup and taking responsibility for our lives isn’t a well-known or widely practiced concept. This is due pretty much to the fact that we live in a society in which the prevailing thinking is that our needs should be met by others, such as our families, our mates, our doctors, our jobs or the government. The error in that thinking is that in order to buy into it, we must relinquish our power, becoming totally dependent on them or “it” to take care of our needs. This approach is diametrically opposed to growing into a mentally, emotionally and spiritually mature human being.
We are facing a critical point in human history with all the attendant anxiety, fear and uncertainties, and we’d all rather talk about something less foreboding; me too. But it is patently obvious that it is time for us to answer humanity’s evolutionary call to grow up. In order for us to safely and peacefully negotiate this time, we will need far more conscious, aware and mature adults.
How to do that in today’s world seemed a mystery until a number of visionary authors and speakers focused on this theme, and now millions of individuals around the globe have discovered the real and inherently natural way to grow into spiritually mature adults. And it has nothing to do with erasing wrinkles or liver spots. By turning within and connecting with the eternal and sublime energy within us, which we call God, we discover the source of unconditional love, peace, wisdom, guidance and support that is every person’s birthright and heart’s desire.
Once we align ourselves with this energy-wisdom, the natural maturation process is evoked and we are led to become grownup human beings, which has always been the evolutionary plan for humanity. We then automatically seek to create better lives and a better world.
It is up to us. We can be like Scarlett O’Hara and choose to think about all the changes and challenges tomorrow, which means hoping they will go away and we won’t have to think of them at all. Or, we can take the journey within, grow up, and help co-create a glorious future for ourselves, humanity and our planet. Time and tide wait for no man – or woman – whether we’re blessed with the bloom of youth or the symbols of wisdom and experience.
_________________________________
Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
[The information on how to connect with God can be found in the author’s book “The Heart Knows the Way,” and at www.FernStewartWelch.com.]
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available to readers from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
I was at a large luncheon-book signing for my recently released book, and was photographed, as my mother would say, “Six ways from Sunday.” When I received a full set of the photos for publicity purposes, I had no alternative but to admit, “Well now, I am old.” Since in my family we tend to be totally grey by our forties, I had long since come to peace with my hair color. Also, I had decided years ago that how I lived was more important than resisting the natural aging process. But, I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.
I was surprised by the extra poundage, the double chin and the wrinkles – in addition to the grey hair that now defined me externally. Naturally, I mourned the loss of youth, but I soon realized that I still felt the same way inside, which was a remarkable gift. I also knew immediately that this was a wake-up call.
There were two important messages I gleaned from this situation: First was the reality that life on Earth is not forever, and I had only an uncertain number of years left to complete my life’s purpose, for which I desired optimal health and well-being. This meant finally getting with the program and losing my laxity concerning diet, exercise and nutrition. And second, the sad realization that I had let so much of my precious time on Earth go by before I was motivated to grow up, look at my life and take full responsibility for it.
If you look around, you will notice that being a grownup and taking responsibility for our lives isn’t a well-known or widely practiced concept. This is due pretty much to the fact that we live in a society in which the prevailing thinking is that our needs should be met by others, such as our families, our mates, our doctors, our jobs or the government. The error in that thinking is that in order to buy into it, we must relinquish our power, becoming totally dependent on them or “it” to take care of our needs. This approach is diametrically opposed to growing into a mentally, emotionally and spiritually mature human being.
We are facing a critical point in human history with all the attendant anxiety, fear and uncertainties, and we’d all rather talk about something less foreboding; me too. But it is patently obvious that it is time for us to answer humanity’s evolutionary call to grow up. In order for us to safely and peacefully negotiate this time, we will need far more conscious, aware and mature adults.
How to do that in today’s world seemed a mystery until a number of visionary authors and speakers focused on this theme, and now millions of individuals around the globe have discovered the real and inherently natural way to grow into spiritually mature adults. And it has nothing to do with erasing wrinkles or liver spots. By turning within and connecting with the eternal and sublime energy within us, which we call God, we discover the source of unconditional love, peace, wisdom, guidance and support that is every person’s birthright and heart’s desire.
Once we align ourselves with this energy-wisdom, the natural maturation process is evoked and we are led to become grownup human beings, which has always been the evolutionary plan for humanity. We then automatically seek to create better lives and a better world.
It is up to us. We can be like Scarlett O’Hara and choose to think about all the changes and challenges tomorrow, which means hoping they will go away and we won’t have to think of them at all. Or, we can take the journey within, grow up, and help co-create a glorious future for ourselves, humanity and our planet. Time and tide wait for no man – or woman – whether we’re blessed with the bloom of youth or the symbols of wisdom and experience.
_________________________________
Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
[The information on how to connect with God can be found in the author’s book “The Heart Knows the Way,” and at www.FernStewartWelch.com.]
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available to readers from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Holding Onto Our Humanity While Evolving Into the Future
Coping with change and letting go of the past is a great challenge for many of us. Most of us are aware that the natural course of creation-life is always toward growth and change. We also realize that humanity is still on an evolutionary path and we have not reached our final destination. Yet, we tend to conveniently ignore these facts and focus instead on whatever security money and power will buy to try to make our lives stable so that we feel safe.
It has become part of the human condition to yearn for a stability and security that will never be possible on a physical level. We live on a sphere that is hurtling through a space that is filled with mind-boggling mysteries.
This is the reason millions of people have hitched their hopes for the future on scientific advances. With today’s nanotechnology – the science of creating devices from single atoms and molecules – the belief is that eventually these high-tech scientific advances will unlock all the mysteries of the universe, solve all our problems and finally bring us security.
My immediate response is to ask how all the high technology we currently enjoy has helped us in creating a kinder, gentler, more peaceful, abundant and safer world for everyone. The answer is that it hasn’t. I also question the wisdom of trusting the future of humanity to nanotechnology. It seems the more high-tech we become the more we distance ourselves from our connection to nature, the Earth and each other and the more likely we are to lose touch with what truly makes us human.
I recently received an e-mail from a colleague with a list of current and expected nanotech developments that are so incredible that just reading the updated information was a stunning wake-up call. If these scientific advances are in our future, this means that in the coming decades – and definitely before the end of this century – life on Earth will no longer bear the slightest resemblance to that which we know now.
While I feel pride and excitement in the fact that science is resolving some of the mysteries of the universe, my concern is that humanity doesn’t yet have the awareness, integrity, vision or good sense to know how to gauge the long-term repercussions of implementing some of these discoveries. There are many instances that bear this out, but one that comes instantly to mind is this: the harnessing of atomic energy and the current global proliferation of nuclear weapons that could destroy the Earth.
Scientific advances and discoveries continue to outpace the conscious awareness of humanity – think cloning – and at a greatly accelerated rate. I wondered how we and our lagging psychology will ever catch up with this futuristic technology. My gut tells me that it will take something dramatic to awaken us to how fast the world is changing and how reluctant we are to acknowledge and prepare ourselves to cope with these awesome changes.
I believe that “something” is happening right now. We are in the throes of an incredible transformational time on Earth, and I believe we need help to successfully meet the evolutionary changes that are coming. This means, to me, that as human beings we need to make a basic change in our thinking as to how life on Earth really works.
Foremost in this is that we have bought into the popular belief that everything in life happens externally. The truth is that it is exactly the opposite. Life happens from within us out. By buying into the misperception we are left fearful and in a victim role, which makes us feel separate, alone and helpless. The only choice we have as passive victims is in how we react to whatever happens to us in life.
I don’t foresee any time in the future when we will be secure in our physical world because any one of a number of things could alter the Earth’s ability to sustain life. But there is another way to feel secure despite what changes the future may bring. Since I believe the awareness we need is always available to us if we’re willing to open to it, this is where I think we are being led.
By turning within and connecting with the eternal and sublime energy within us, which nanotechnology has irrevocably identified as the “basic building block of the universe,” we can reclaim our power and help co-create the future. The great sages and spiritual teachers have been telling us for many centuries that this is the path to creating better lives and a better world.
It does require that we relinquish the role of victims and accept that we are powerful spiritual beings having a human experience, and are willing to take responsibility for our lives and for the future of our planet. When we can do this, and consciously place ourselves in alignment and cooperation with the highest and best within us, we are part of the whole – all the love, peace, power, wisdom, guidance and support there ever was or ever will be.
Then, as conscious and aware human beings we will be able to help humanity transcend this transformational high-tech time of change in a way that is truly loving and humane. In the process, we can help humanity fulfill its destiny while retaining that which truly is one of the great gifts of being human – our low-tech feelings.
_______________________________
Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way”are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
It has become part of the human condition to yearn for a stability and security that will never be possible on a physical level. We live on a sphere that is hurtling through a space that is filled with mind-boggling mysteries.
This is the reason millions of people have hitched their hopes for the future on scientific advances. With today’s nanotechnology – the science of creating devices from single atoms and molecules – the belief is that eventually these high-tech scientific advances will unlock all the mysteries of the universe, solve all our problems and finally bring us security.
My immediate response is to ask how all the high technology we currently enjoy has helped us in creating a kinder, gentler, more peaceful, abundant and safer world for everyone. The answer is that it hasn’t. I also question the wisdom of trusting the future of humanity to nanotechnology. It seems the more high-tech we become the more we distance ourselves from our connection to nature, the Earth and each other and the more likely we are to lose touch with what truly makes us human.
I recently received an e-mail from a colleague with a list of current and expected nanotech developments that are so incredible that just reading the updated information was a stunning wake-up call. If these scientific advances are in our future, this means that in the coming decades – and definitely before the end of this century – life on Earth will no longer bear the slightest resemblance to that which we know now.
While I feel pride and excitement in the fact that science is resolving some of the mysteries of the universe, my concern is that humanity doesn’t yet have the awareness, integrity, vision or good sense to know how to gauge the long-term repercussions of implementing some of these discoveries. There are many instances that bear this out, but one that comes instantly to mind is this: the harnessing of atomic energy and the current global proliferation of nuclear weapons that could destroy the Earth.
Scientific advances and discoveries continue to outpace the conscious awareness of humanity – think cloning – and at a greatly accelerated rate. I wondered how we and our lagging psychology will ever catch up with this futuristic technology. My gut tells me that it will take something dramatic to awaken us to how fast the world is changing and how reluctant we are to acknowledge and prepare ourselves to cope with these awesome changes.
I believe that “something” is happening right now. We are in the throes of an incredible transformational time on Earth, and I believe we need help to successfully meet the evolutionary changes that are coming. This means, to me, that as human beings we need to make a basic change in our thinking as to how life on Earth really works.
Foremost in this is that we have bought into the popular belief that everything in life happens externally. The truth is that it is exactly the opposite. Life happens from within us out. By buying into the misperception we are left fearful and in a victim role, which makes us feel separate, alone and helpless. The only choice we have as passive victims is in how we react to whatever happens to us in life.
I don’t foresee any time in the future when we will be secure in our physical world because any one of a number of things could alter the Earth’s ability to sustain life. But there is another way to feel secure despite what changes the future may bring. Since I believe the awareness we need is always available to us if we’re willing to open to it, this is where I think we are being led.
By turning within and connecting with the eternal and sublime energy within us, which nanotechnology has irrevocably identified as the “basic building block of the universe,” we can reclaim our power and help co-create the future. The great sages and spiritual teachers have been telling us for many centuries that this is the path to creating better lives and a better world.
It does require that we relinquish the role of victims and accept that we are powerful spiritual beings having a human experience, and are willing to take responsibility for our lives and for the future of our planet. When we can do this, and consciously place ourselves in alignment and cooperation with the highest and best within us, we are part of the whole – all the love, peace, power, wisdom, guidance and support there ever was or ever will be.
Then, as conscious and aware human beings we will be able to help humanity transcend this transformational high-tech time of change in a way that is truly loving and humane. In the process, we can help humanity fulfill its destiny while retaining that which truly is one of the great gifts of being human – our low-tech feelings.
_______________________________
Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way”are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Serious Illness: When Families Pull Together or Pull Apart
I had a powerful e-mail response to a recent essay I posted titled “The Key to Living a Better Life and Dying a Better Death.” The woman writing to me described a challenging and “crazy-making” family health situation that any one of us could face in the future or perhaps have already experienced.
I wanted to write about this because having advance awareness of how and why such emotionally charged situations occur may help us avoid being part of the problem, and instead becoming part of the solution. Her account also confirms and underscores the need for and the importance of healing our own issues around illness and death and dying.
What she described was being in the middle of an emotional mine field, with each participant feeding off the others and seeking to vent what seemed like a lifetime of angry, unexpressed emotions. The main characters in the drama were her seriously ill father-in-law, a widower who lived alone and was in denial about his health, and his four adult sons who reside in different states. They had come home with their wives to help their father through yet another in a long list of medical crises.
The situation between the family members deteriorated into a standoff, which means nothing positive could happen. The underlying issues included: the patient’s anger and humiliation over losing control of his life; the brothers’ anger at the patient because he refused to take better care of himself, or go into a facility, and all the stress this had caused the family; concern about what their responsibilities might be in the future, including financial, and who would have to bear the biggest burden; guilt over not having been a “better son”; renewed mourning for their deceased mother, which was mixed with guilt over their negative emotion around their father’s life situation; and, finally, facing their own mortality.
Unbeknownst to all the participants, the emotionalism was exacerbated by two situations: First, everyone concerned was being forced to come face to face with their own issues and fears around illness and death and dying, and second, the individual reactions were indicative of the way in which they normally responded to stressful situations.
This isn’t out of the ordinary. Some individuals facing a loved one’s serious illness, whether or not they have fully resolved their feelings about death and dying can take a calm, rational approach and decide what action to take. Some choose denial so they don’t have to do anything about the problem. Others let it all hang out in a torrent of anger, blame, fear, frustration, sadness and guilt or shame.
This is still part of the painful pulling apart that often comes before the desired pulling together toward helping a loved one get the help s/he needs to heal or to make a peaceful transition.
Take heart, because good does come from this. After releasing a lot of deep-seated and heated emotions, present and past, the brothers finally came together enough to get their resisting and angry parent to the hospital.
As the days progressed, the brothers were still dealing with their own internal issues, but they began to frame their comments to each other in the still edgy, but more acceptable sarcasm-tinged-with-humor they had honed as teenagers. In between chasing down hospital doctors to try to get the facts about their father’s condition, they found time to talk about their current lives, to recall their growing up years, their parents and, in essence, to renew family bonds.
After a week of medical testing and much-needed treatment, it was determined that the patient could be released to his home, if he agreed to be seen on a regular basis by other healthcare specialists.
The pulling apart was over. They were pulling together in a common cause. There was a new level of camaraderie, caring, pride and trust in each other as family members. This change had a positive effect on each brother and even the uncooperative patient, who now showed some interest in taking an active role in looking after his health.
Meanwhile, the wives cleaned their father-in-law’s house and stocked the cupboards and the refrigerator with healthful food. The brothers took turns standing vigil at the hospital and being outspoken advocates for their father. They also organized his business papers and gathered information that would help them help him assure his future care and well-being.
The moral of this story is that no matter what we have to go through to get there – to face and/or rise above our own issues – the goal is to be able to pull together to help a fellow human being through a challenging life passage. When we can do that, then no matter what eventually happens, we can know we did our best and there is nothing more we or anyone else can ask of us. And there’s not a better feeling than that.
________________________________
Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
I wanted to write about this because having advance awareness of how and why such emotionally charged situations occur may help us avoid being part of the problem, and instead becoming part of the solution. Her account also confirms and underscores the need for and the importance of healing our own issues around illness and death and dying.
What she described was being in the middle of an emotional mine field, with each participant feeding off the others and seeking to vent what seemed like a lifetime of angry, unexpressed emotions. The main characters in the drama were her seriously ill father-in-law, a widower who lived alone and was in denial about his health, and his four adult sons who reside in different states. They had come home with their wives to help their father through yet another in a long list of medical crises.
The situation between the family members deteriorated into a standoff, which means nothing positive could happen. The underlying issues included: the patient’s anger and humiliation over losing control of his life; the brothers’ anger at the patient because he refused to take better care of himself, or go into a facility, and all the stress this had caused the family; concern about what their responsibilities might be in the future, including financial, and who would have to bear the biggest burden; guilt over not having been a “better son”; renewed mourning for their deceased mother, which was mixed with guilt over their negative emotion around their father’s life situation; and, finally, facing their own mortality.
Unbeknownst to all the participants, the emotionalism was exacerbated by two situations: First, everyone concerned was being forced to come face to face with their own issues and fears around illness and death and dying, and second, the individual reactions were indicative of the way in which they normally responded to stressful situations.
This isn’t out of the ordinary. Some individuals facing a loved one’s serious illness, whether or not they have fully resolved their feelings about death and dying can take a calm, rational approach and decide what action to take. Some choose denial so they don’t have to do anything about the problem. Others let it all hang out in a torrent of anger, blame, fear, frustration, sadness and guilt or shame.
This is still part of the painful pulling apart that often comes before the desired pulling together toward helping a loved one get the help s/he needs to heal or to make a peaceful transition.
Take heart, because good does come from this. After releasing a lot of deep-seated and heated emotions, present and past, the brothers finally came together enough to get their resisting and angry parent to the hospital.
As the days progressed, the brothers were still dealing with their own internal issues, but they began to frame their comments to each other in the still edgy, but more acceptable sarcasm-tinged-with-humor they had honed as teenagers. In between chasing down hospital doctors to try to get the facts about their father’s condition, they found time to talk about their current lives, to recall their growing up years, their parents and, in essence, to renew family bonds.
After a week of medical testing and much-needed treatment, it was determined that the patient could be released to his home, if he agreed to be seen on a regular basis by other healthcare specialists.
The pulling apart was over. They were pulling together in a common cause. There was a new level of camaraderie, caring, pride and trust in each other as family members. This change had a positive effect on each brother and even the uncooperative patient, who now showed some interest in taking an active role in looking after his health.
Meanwhile, the wives cleaned their father-in-law’s house and stocked the cupboards and the refrigerator with healthful food. The brothers took turns standing vigil at the hospital and being outspoken advocates for their father. They also organized his business papers and gathered information that would help them help him assure his future care and well-being.
The moral of this story is that no matter what we have to go through to get there – to face and/or rise above our own issues – the goal is to be able to pull together to help a fellow human being through a challenging life passage. When we can do that, then no matter what eventually happens, we can know we did our best and there is nothing more we or anyone else can ask of us. And there’s not a better feeling than that.
________________________________
Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
The Winds of Change Are No Longer Whispering
Unless someone has been living in a cave, it is impossible not to know that this is a time of great and powerful transformational change.
Our world is in turmoil, and faces economic, environmental and global challenges. It is also a time when fear is at an all-time high, and honesty, integrity, truth and compassion for others are at an all-time low.
This means it is time for far more conscious and aware human beings to step up and help ensure that the changes we face in our lives occur in a peaceful and orderly manner instead of through destruction, disruption and upheaval.
I believe we have reached the point in the continuing evolution of humanity where we’ve learned enough from suffering and pain, and that we must do whatever it takes to move beyond this stage and grow into more observant and mindful human beings.
What we really need to learn right now is how to take care of ourselves and each other no matter what changes bring, and to choose positive actions that will ensure a better future for us, others and the world.
We can do this by turning within and taking control of our lives, which we positively have the power to do. It is time to remember that each one of us is a spiritual being having a human experience and that we are individual expressions of the universal life force/energy/God – whatever you choose to call it – that permeates us and everything in the cosmos.
The truth is we are being challenged to let go of our present way of life because it isn’t working. Our reality has been focused on the external world and seeking happiness and fulfillment through material success, which leaves us feeling like victims – separate, empty and helpless.
We are being called to turn from our focus on the external, which keeps us shackled in fear, and to open to the higher consciousness-intelligence-love that is within us.
We are either in love or in fear – we can’t be in both at the same time. As we use the power of our minds to keep an open heart, this cancels out fear. Fear blocks action and the ability to reason. When we use the power of our minds to maintain an open heart and to focus on positive feelings such as love, appreciation, compassion and kindness we transform our energy to a higher evolutionary level.
As we do that, we are automatically led to live from higher standards of compassion, honesty, integrity and truth. We are then transformed within ourselves, which strongly impacts those around us and the world.
Each of us has an unspoken need to know there is still good in the world and still individuals who care and perform incredibly selfless heroic deeds that inspire and uplift us and give us hope that nurtures the human spirit.
Here’s one such heroic story that I witnessed firsthand: One of my dear friends, the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the internationally known death and dying icon, died five years ago this month. Elisabeth’s legacy was her incredible capacity for caring, which allowed her to become a global force for change. She almost single-handedly brought death and dying out of the Dark Ages and into the light of reason and compassion, fueled healthcare reform, founded hospice in America and elevated the consciousness of humanity
She was one person. Imagine what we can do to ensure positive change in our lives and in the world by turning within and aligning with the power and loving guidance within us. As we take control and use the power of our minds to move from fear to fearless, we gain freedom and inner security – the only real security there is.
________________________________
Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch
[For additional insights, go to http://www.fernstewartwelch.com/, click on How-to Lists at the top, then click on “Connect with God,” to read the article and learn how to connect with your inner guidance.”]
“Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are all available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Our world is in turmoil, and faces economic, environmental and global challenges. It is also a time when fear is at an all-time high, and honesty, integrity, truth and compassion for others are at an all-time low.
This means it is time for far more conscious and aware human beings to step up and help ensure that the changes we face in our lives occur in a peaceful and orderly manner instead of through destruction, disruption and upheaval.
I believe we have reached the point in the continuing evolution of humanity where we’ve learned enough from suffering and pain, and that we must do whatever it takes to move beyond this stage and grow into more observant and mindful human beings.
What we really need to learn right now is how to take care of ourselves and each other no matter what changes bring, and to choose positive actions that will ensure a better future for us, others and the world.
We can do this by turning within and taking control of our lives, which we positively have the power to do. It is time to remember that each one of us is a spiritual being having a human experience and that we are individual expressions of the universal life force/energy/God – whatever you choose to call it – that permeates us and everything in the cosmos.
The truth is we are being challenged to let go of our present way of life because it isn’t working. Our reality has been focused on the external world and seeking happiness and fulfillment through material success, which leaves us feeling like victims – separate, empty and helpless.
We are being called to turn from our focus on the external, which keeps us shackled in fear, and to open to the higher consciousness-intelligence-love that is within us.
We are either in love or in fear – we can’t be in both at the same time. As we use the power of our minds to keep an open heart, this cancels out fear. Fear blocks action and the ability to reason. When we use the power of our minds to maintain an open heart and to focus on positive feelings such as love, appreciation, compassion and kindness we transform our energy to a higher evolutionary level.
As we do that, we are automatically led to live from higher standards of compassion, honesty, integrity and truth. We are then transformed within ourselves, which strongly impacts those around us and the world.
Each of us has an unspoken need to know there is still good in the world and still individuals who care and perform incredibly selfless heroic deeds that inspire and uplift us and give us hope that nurtures the human spirit.
Here’s one such heroic story that I witnessed firsthand: One of my dear friends, the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the internationally known death and dying icon, died five years ago this month. Elisabeth’s legacy was her incredible capacity for caring, which allowed her to become a global force for change. She almost single-handedly brought death and dying out of the Dark Ages and into the light of reason and compassion, fueled healthcare reform, founded hospice in America and elevated the consciousness of humanity
She was one person. Imagine what we can do to ensure positive change in our lives and in the world by turning within and aligning with the power and loving guidance within us. As we take control and use the power of our minds to move from fear to fearless, we gain freedom and inner security – the only real security there is.
________________________________
Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch
[For additional insights, go to http://www.fernstewartwelch.com/, click on How-to Lists at the top, then click on “Connect with God,” to read the article and learn how to connect with your inner guidance.”]
“Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are all available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Monday, August 10, 2009
New Book Reveals the Controversial and Heroic Woman Who Changed the Way the World Views Death and Dying
Muhammad Ali described Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – the world-renowned “death and dying lady” – as a champion of life. Dr. Caroline Myss characterized her as one of the most courageous souls of our era. I called her my friend.
Elisabeth was the Swiss-born physician, author and lecturer whose compassionate and heroic efforts against great odds led to health-care reform, patients’ rights, the relief of end-of-life suffering, the proliferation of hospice in the U.S., and humanity’s search for greater awareness of how to deal with long-term illnesses and the death process itself.
In 1999, Elisabeth was named one of the “Greatest Minds” of the century by TIME Magazine, and the New York City Public Library named her seminal book, “On Death and Dying,” one of the greatest literary works of the twenty-first century. She authored more than 20 books that were published in 27 languages, were read by millions, and used in colleges and universities and as required textbooks in medical schools around the world.
Elisabeth sparked world-wide controversy with her groundbreaking approach – putting the rights of patients and their families first – and threatened a medical establishment that was entrenched in the age-old taboos and fears that still surrounded death and dying. Initially dismissed by physicians and the media as “the death and dying lady,” she was attacked both personally and professionally. But she never gave up or gave in, showing a tenacious resolve that did not surprise those who shared her dramatic and revolutionary journey.
At the time of her death, almost five years ago, I was writing a tribute for Elisabeth’s memorial service, and the full concept of a book presented itself to me along with the title, “Tea with Elisabeth.” Elisabeth was fond of the civilized ritual of “taking tea” and it was an essential element of a visit with her. Being an author and writer, I didn’t hesitate to seek out stories from those who knew her, but I also realized I would need the assistance of Ken Ross, Elisabeth’s son, and a mutual friend, Rose Winters. They agreed immediately. It was our goal to present a more complete and human picture of this world icon – the real-life dynamic, fun-loving, vibrant and fully dimensional woman we knew and loved.
“Tea with Elisabeth” features 51 revealing, soul-stirring and sometimes humorous essays from contributors that include Muhammad Ali; Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York; Marianne Williamson; Doreen Virtue; Raymond Moody; J. Donald Schumacher; Bernie Siegel; Stephen Levine; Dame Cicely Saunders and Caroline Myss; as well as family members and friends.
Elisabeth died on August 24, 2004 in Scottsdale, Arizona, where she had lived for the last ten years of her life. She was mourned by the millions of people she touched with her books, lectures and compassionate ministrations, as well as by the multitude of doctors, nurses, aides, caregivers and hospice workers who continue her legacy.
We are overjoyed that our labor of love – “Tea with Elisabeth” – is now available in English at all the traditional online and retail establishments in the U.S. German and Japanese editions are already in print.
Note* For Arizona residents, the three co-authors will be signing books on August 20, 2009, from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m., at Barnes & Noble on 90th St. and Shea Boulevard, in Scottsdale, Arizona.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch
The author is the executive editor and co-author of “Tea with Elisabeth.” This title, as well as “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and ‘The Heart Knows the Way,” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, as well as bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Elisabeth was the Swiss-born physician, author and lecturer whose compassionate and heroic efforts against great odds led to health-care reform, patients’ rights, the relief of end-of-life suffering, the proliferation of hospice in the U.S., and humanity’s search for greater awareness of how to deal with long-term illnesses and the death process itself.
In 1999, Elisabeth was named one of the “Greatest Minds” of the century by TIME Magazine, and the New York City Public Library named her seminal book, “On Death and Dying,” one of the greatest literary works of the twenty-first century. She authored more than 20 books that were published in 27 languages, were read by millions, and used in colleges and universities and as required textbooks in medical schools around the world.
Elisabeth sparked world-wide controversy with her groundbreaking approach – putting the rights of patients and their families first – and threatened a medical establishment that was entrenched in the age-old taboos and fears that still surrounded death and dying. Initially dismissed by physicians and the media as “the death and dying lady,” she was attacked both personally and professionally. But she never gave up or gave in, showing a tenacious resolve that did not surprise those who shared her dramatic and revolutionary journey.
At the time of her death, almost five years ago, I was writing a tribute for Elisabeth’s memorial service, and the full concept of a book presented itself to me along with the title, “Tea with Elisabeth.” Elisabeth was fond of the civilized ritual of “taking tea” and it was an essential element of a visit with her. Being an author and writer, I didn’t hesitate to seek out stories from those who knew her, but I also realized I would need the assistance of Ken Ross, Elisabeth’s son, and a mutual friend, Rose Winters. They agreed immediately. It was our goal to present a more complete and human picture of this world icon – the real-life dynamic, fun-loving, vibrant and fully dimensional woman we knew and loved.
“Tea with Elisabeth” features 51 revealing, soul-stirring and sometimes humorous essays from contributors that include Muhammad Ali; Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York; Marianne Williamson; Doreen Virtue; Raymond Moody; J. Donald Schumacher; Bernie Siegel; Stephen Levine; Dame Cicely Saunders and Caroline Myss; as well as family members and friends.
Elisabeth died on August 24, 2004 in Scottsdale, Arizona, where she had lived for the last ten years of her life. She was mourned by the millions of people she touched with her books, lectures and compassionate ministrations, as well as by the multitude of doctors, nurses, aides, caregivers and hospice workers who continue her legacy.
We are overjoyed that our labor of love – “Tea with Elisabeth” – is now available in English at all the traditional online and retail establishments in the U.S. German and Japanese editions are already in print.
Note* For Arizona residents, the three co-authors will be signing books on August 20, 2009, from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m., at Barnes & Noble on 90th St. and Shea Boulevard, in Scottsdale, Arizona.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch
The author is the executive editor and co-author of “Tea with Elisabeth.” This title, as well as “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and ‘The Heart Knows the Way,” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, as well as bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
The Key to Living A Better Life and Dying a Better Death
I have a dear friend whose adult son is facing life threatening health problems. I am deeply touched once again by an all-too familiar scene, in which each family member’s unresolved emotional issues, fears and frustrations have popped up and taken precedence over the opportunity to help their loved one and each other have a loving experience.
As a former hospice volunteer, and someone who assisted two siblings, my parents and my husband on their last life journeys, I have seen this experience from one extreme to the other and pretty much everything in between. Some individuals and families go through such hellish and emotionally painful anger, bitterness, denial, grief, guilt, as well as stress and strain that it overwhelms the process and often negatively taints the rest of their lives. Others somehow manage to have a sublime loving and spiritually enlightened experience for themselves and their loved one.
Since I was ten years old, and my best friend described her grandmother’s death in a way that I had never thought possible, I have sought an answer to how the latter is achieved – as well as an opportunity to live such a blessed experience with a loved one.
When my beloved husband became ill and I realized he was beginning the process that would end in death, something within me knew this was that time. Armed with the support of my dear friend, the international death and dying icon Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and full book-knowledge of her lifework, I set an unwavering intention to help my husband through the death process in a way that was more loving and more spiritually enlightened.
But that was much easier said than accomplished. After many months of frustration and failure that resulted in emotional exhaustion, I reached out to Elisabeth and she encouraged me to turn within to seek inner guidance. She also told me to “Follow your heart, Fern. Your heart knows the way.” In desperation I did turn within, and I was led to a much deeper connection with my inner guidance, God.
I subsequently received the support and guidance I needed to heal some of my own unresolved issues – emotional baggage – as well as the fears I held around death and dying. By following the guidance, I was then able to be fully present for my husband on all levels, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.
This transformed my experience from one of intense sadness, frustration, doubt, fear and emotional exhaustion, to one of clarity, confidence, love and peace, which translated to our mutual joy and a deep, satisfying soul connection with my husband that remained constant throughout the process. What we lived was diametrically opposed to what many people experience in facing the death of a loved one. It also changed my life forever.
After my husband’s death, I was guided to allow the full mourning and grieving, as this would preclude any lingering sadness. This was absolutely true, and within the first year I realized that I was left with a great inner peace, a joyous anticipation of the future and a reaffirmation of life.
I shared the lessons I learned and all the events surrounding the lengthy decline and death of my beloved husband in my first book “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within.” Since Elisabeth asked to read the manuscript before it was published, she gave the book her highest commendation and a wonderful endorsement.
I am so grateful to Elisabeth. I know that it was her lifework and support that inspired me to do what my soul knew was possible and to be fully present for my husband in a way that blessed us both and fulfilled my heart’s desire.
The insights I gained taught me that death is not meant to be the most feared life event, which is what tears many families apart when faced with such a situation. It is meant to be a sacred life passage that celebrates the continuity of life. The key to opening to that conscious awareness lies in coming to grips with our own unresolved life issues, as well as our fears surrounding death and dying. Once we clear our own emotional baggage and fears, the gift we receive is multi-faceted. We are then able to be fully present for a loved one when they face debilitating illness or death. We are also free to live a more meaningful and fulfilled life, and thus to die a better death.
__________________________________
Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch
The author conceived and served as executive editor and co-author of the recently released book “Tea with Elisabeth,” which is a tribute to the incredible life work of the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. This title and Welch’s earlier books are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, as well as through bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
As a former hospice volunteer, and someone who assisted two siblings, my parents and my husband on their last life journeys, I have seen this experience from one extreme to the other and pretty much everything in between. Some individuals and families go through such hellish and emotionally painful anger, bitterness, denial, grief, guilt, as well as stress and strain that it overwhelms the process and often negatively taints the rest of their lives. Others somehow manage to have a sublime loving and spiritually enlightened experience for themselves and their loved one.
Since I was ten years old, and my best friend described her grandmother’s death in a way that I had never thought possible, I have sought an answer to how the latter is achieved – as well as an opportunity to live such a blessed experience with a loved one.
When my beloved husband became ill and I realized he was beginning the process that would end in death, something within me knew this was that time. Armed with the support of my dear friend, the international death and dying icon Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and full book-knowledge of her lifework, I set an unwavering intention to help my husband through the death process in a way that was more loving and more spiritually enlightened.
But that was much easier said than accomplished. After many months of frustration and failure that resulted in emotional exhaustion, I reached out to Elisabeth and she encouraged me to turn within to seek inner guidance. She also told me to “Follow your heart, Fern. Your heart knows the way.” In desperation I did turn within, and I was led to a much deeper connection with my inner guidance, God.
I subsequently received the support and guidance I needed to heal some of my own unresolved issues – emotional baggage – as well as the fears I held around death and dying. By following the guidance, I was then able to be fully present for my husband on all levels, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.
This transformed my experience from one of intense sadness, frustration, doubt, fear and emotional exhaustion, to one of clarity, confidence, love and peace, which translated to our mutual joy and a deep, satisfying soul connection with my husband that remained constant throughout the process. What we lived was diametrically opposed to what many people experience in facing the death of a loved one. It also changed my life forever.
After my husband’s death, I was guided to allow the full mourning and grieving, as this would preclude any lingering sadness. This was absolutely true, and within the first year I realized that I was left with a great inner peace, a joyous anticipation of the future and a reaffirmation of life.
I shared the lessons I learned and all the events surrounding the lengthy decline and death of my beloved husband in my first book “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within.” Since Elisabeth asked to read the manuscript before it was published, she gave the book her highest commendation and a wonderful endorsement.
I am so grateful to Elisabeth. I know that it was her lifework and support that inspired me to do what my soul knew was possible and to be fully present for my husband in a way that blessed us both and fulfilled my heart’s desire.
The insights I gained taught me that death is not meant to be the most feared life event, which is what tears many families apart when faced with such a situation. It is meant to be a sacred life passage that celebrates the continuity of life. The key to opening to that conscious awareness lies in coming to grips with our own unresolved life issues, as well as our fears surrounding death and dying. Once we clear our own emotional baggage and fears, the gift we receive is multi-faceted. We are then able to be fully present for a loved one when they face debilitating illness or death. We are also free to live a more meaningful and fulfilled life, and thus to die a better death.
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Copyright © 2009 Fern Stewart Welch
The author conceived and served as executive editor and co-author of the recently released book “Tea with Elisabeth,” which is a tribute to the incredible life work of the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. This title and Welch’s earlier books are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, as well as through bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble and Borders – and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Monday, July 13, 2009
What to Do When the Biggest Block to Our Happiness ... Is Us
I am a writer – a creative person – by profession and, I freely acknowledge, a highly sensitive person by nature. From what I know, this isn’t an out-of-the ordinary personality combination. What this has meant to me in everyday life is that kind words are like sunshine to a flower. And, conversely, any negative energy directed my way is like a physical blow, which can cause my energy to plummet along with my sense of self.
In the past, when the latter happened, I would dip into a victim mode that was as familiar as an old tape that had been replayed many, many times. My subconscious instantly sent out a message that said: Here it is again! Send her the same emotional responses. It didn’t matter what happened, when conflict arose, the result was the same. The situation automatically triggered all the bad thoughts I’d ever had about myself which confirmed that I was unworthy and unlovable. Then up came the same old feelings that ranged from anger, blame, grief and sadness to a sense of helplessness. The feelings were so powerful at times that it was impossible to focus on anything else.
Thankfully, I’ve learned that the emotional angst and pain we go through at those times is a message from our soul pushing us to learn a more healthful response and to grow through the issue. I also believe that when the same challenges occur repeatedly, we’re being told that this is an important lesson and we will continue attracting similar experiences until we learn the lesson and move beyond it.
As part of my desire to grow through this specific lesson, I adopted a process that has helped many people in similar situations. The key is to have a behavior program in place that supports us on all levels and sets the stage for success every day. The primary step is to start each morning with a 20 minute meditation. This centers us and balances our body, mind and spirit. If meditation isn’t desirable, we simply set our intention, go within, close our eyes and sit in silence. Focusing on a single word such as love, peace, joy, harmony or happiness often helps calm the mind. The important thing is to switch our focus from the external world and to get in touch with our inner selves, which is the starting place for everything that shows up in our lives.
Next, since it is fairly typical in our culture to view our lives as insignificant and our selves as unworthy of good, it is important that we consistently feed into our subconscious positive affirmations/statements that honor and value our worth. Each time we do this, it sets up a desired pattern in our subconscious that supports and increases our life force-energy. Those you write for yourself will be more powerful as they engage your energy, but here are some examples: I am enough. I am worthy. I love myself. I am peace. I am love. I am kindness. I am powerful.
No matter how simple and unimportant our life contributions may seem to us, every single thing we do is part of our sacred and heroic journey to fulfill our life purpose. Whether it is being a loving parent, being kind to others or showing up at a job every day to support our families, it is important and has meaning and worth. We must keep a ready list in our minds of our positive characteristics and traits and recall them often so that we are consistently supporting our core self instead of subconsciously sabotaging our sense of self and blocking our good.
Another good thing to recall often is that one of the rules of living on Earth is learning lessons and growing through life instead of just going through it. We are spiritual beings born into this life to have a human experience. This means we are not only inherently good – we are born with the power to create the lives we desire. What we create in the external world, and whether it is desirable or undesirable, lets us know if our life force is high or low and how successfully we are managing it.
If we continue to become conscious and aware of our life force-energy and to maintain it at a higher level, we find that undesirable situations aren’t popping up as often. When they do come up, we recognize them for the gift they are, another opportunity to grow, which is the only reason we are here. And what an incredible and desirable change – from unconsciously blocking our own happiness to being part of the solution.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author served as executive editor and co-author of the recently-released book, “Tea with Elisabeth.” Her other books include: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within.” All are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers.
In the past, when the latter happened, I would dip into a victim mode that was as familiar as an old tape that had been replayed many, many times. My subconscious instantly sent out a message that said: Here it is again! Send her the same emotional responses. It didn’t matter what happened, when conflict arose, the result was the same. The situation automatically triggered all the bad thoughts I’d ever had about myself which confirmed that I was unworthy and unlovable. Then up came the same old feelings that ranged from anger, blame, grief and sadness to a sense of helplessness. The feelings were so powerful at times that it was impossible to focus on anything else.
Thankfully, I’ve learned that the emotional angst and pain we go through at those times is a message from our soul pushing us to learn a more healthful response and to grow through the issue. I also believe that when the same challenges occur repeatedly, we’re being told that this is an important lesson and we will continue attracting similar experiences until we learn the lesson and move beyond it.
As part of my desire to grow through this specific lesson, I adopted a process that has helped many people in similar situations. The key is to have a behavior program in place that supports us on all levels and sets the stage for success every day. The primary step is to start each morning with a 20 minute meditation. This centers us and balances our body, mind and spirit. If meditation isn’t desirable, we simply set our intention, go within, close our eyes and sit in silence. Focusing on a single word such as love, peace, joy, harmony or happiness often helps calm the mind. The important thing is to switch our focus from the external world and to get in touch with our inner selves, which is the starting place for everything that shows up in our lives.
Next, since it is fairly typical in our culture to view our lives as insignificant and our selves as unworthy of good, it is important that we consistently feed into our subconscious positive affirmations/statements that honor and value our worth. Each time we do this, it sets up a desired pattern in our subconscious that supports and increases our life force-energy. Those you write for yourself will be more powerful as they engage your energy, but here are some examples: I am enough. I am worthy. I love myself. I am peace. I am love. I am kindness. I am powerful.
No matter how simple and unimportant our life contributions may seem to us, every single thing we do is part of our sacred and heroic journey to fulfill our life purpose. Whether it is being a loving parent, being kind to others or showing up at a job every day to support our families, it is important and has meaning and worth. We must keep a ready list in our minds of our positive characteristics and traits and recall them often so that we are consistently supporting our core self instead of subconsciously sabotaging our sense of self and blocking our good.
Another good thing to recall often is that one of the rules of living on Earth is learning lessons and growing through life instead of just going through it. We are spiritual beings born into this life to have a human experience. This means we are not only inherently good – we are born with the power to create the lives we desire. What we create in the external world, and whether it is desirable or undesirable, lets us know if our life force is high or low and how successfully we are managing it.
If we continue to become conscious and aware of our life force-energy and to maintain it at a higher level, we find that undesirable situations aren’t popping up as often. When they do come up, we recognize them for the gift they are, another opportunity to grow, which is the only reason we are here. And what an incredible and desirable change – from unconsciously blocking our own happiness to being part of the solution.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author served as executive editor and co-author of the recently-released book, “Tea with Elisabeth.” Her other books include: “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World!” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within.” All are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers.
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